


Rising from Embers

by shiiki



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Marauders' Era, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-04
Updated: 2007-02-22
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:53:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 42,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiiki/pseuds/shiiki
Summary: Against a backdrop of terror and hostility, Lily Evans and James Potter come of age in a world at war. Seventh year will be fraught with difficulties, but it is also a time for both to grow and learn, to rise to the challenges thrown their way, and to find their way to each other.The sequel to From Ashes.  ...





	1. Journey

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

_**Disclaimer** : As always, this story is spun off from the incomparable Harry Potter series by JK Rowling, whom I can certainly never hold a candle to. The pleasure I get from writing is payment enough – no money whatsoever is involved. _

_**A/N** : This is the sequel to From Ashes; it’s not absolutely necessary to read Ashes in order to understand this, but I would suggest it, as some of the plot carries over from there. _

_Enormous thanks goes to **jamc91** for her kind patience, eagle-eyed checking, and humourous style of commenting. Because of her, editing this story has become a fun and enjoyable process. I couldn’t possibly ask for more in a beta! _

_Also, **Birgit** , my SQ beta, whom I can never thank enough for her efforts. Her comments have certainly made a difference to the clarity of the writing!_

_This story is for **Gulistanlik** and **jude** , who couldn’t be more generous with their encouragement! _

**CHAPTER ONE:** **Journey**

_September 1, 1976_

Lily Evans fingered the shiny badge on her chest nervously as she made her way through the throng of students mingling on platform nine and three-quarters. Her friends were scattered around; she caught sight of Dorcas Meadowes and Alice Moody in a corner and waved. Some of the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students she briefly knew gave her friendly nods. But Lily didn’t pause to chat: she went straight to the first compartment of the Hogwarts Express and levitated her trunk on board. 

The prefects’ compartment was empty; she was the first to arrive. Lily stowed her trunk in a corner and sank into a seat, her heart pounding and her mind racing. 

The school year was about to start. 

Her seventh year. 

She was Head Girl. 

Everyone was supposed to look up to her. 

How was she going to manage this? She couldn’t even convince her own sister that she belonged at Hogwarts – Petunia had adopted a firmly anti-magic frame of mind for the entire summer. How was she going to carry any weight with the Slytherins, who believed the same thing, albeit for very different reasons, and despised her for being Muggle-born? 

And with the war going on, Lily knew very well that there would be sides taken. Just how far would it go, though? How much trouble would be caused by the students whose parents were on opposing sides? And how was she going to handle it? 

Can _I even handle it?_

‘Yes, you can.’ 

Startled, Lily turned her head. She hadn’t realised that she had spoken out loud. 

‘So, Lily,’ said James Potter, the rest of his lanky, well-built body following his messy head in, ‘congratulations.’ He grinned as he eyed the badge shining on her chest. 

‘Oh – I – er – thanks,’ stammered Lily, shaking the outstretched hand he proffered. She stared at him warily, wondering what trick he had up his sleeve now. Potter always had a motive – which, when Lily was involved, was usually to attempt to fool her into accepting a date with him. 

‘I’m sure you’ll be a great Head Girl, Lily,’ said Potter, his grin widening. ‘See you later!’ 

And he stepped out the door, before Lily could gather her wits to tell him off for being in the prefects’ compartment when he wasn’t a prefect. She watched him stroll casually down the platform to meet Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew – his little gang that called themselves the Marauders – and she wondered what he was up to. 

~ * ~ 

‘Ah, here comes our gallant Head Boy,’ announced Sirius Black as James Potter approached his three friends. The reactions of the other two were almost comical: Remus Lupin opened and closed his mouth speechlessly, looking like a stunned goldfish; Peter Pettigrew squeaked, ‘Head Boy?’ and promptly dropped his trunk on his own foot, following which he let out a howl of pain. 

‘You never said … _Head Boy_ , James, you should have written!’ said Remus finally, when he managed to find his voice. 

‘What, and miss your expressions?’ said Sirius. ‘Prongs looked like a deer caught in headlights when he got the letter …’ 

‘Funny, aren’t you, Sirius,’ said James wryly. ‘Yes, Moony, I’m afraid I am. I think Dumbledore’s finally gone round the twist. I always thought _you_ ought to be Head Boy.’ 

Remus shook his head. ‘I couldn’t. You have to admit, I’d have a tougher time explaining my absences from prefect meetings than I already do now. And anyway, I could never keep you lot in line.’ 

Sirius laughed. ‘Still, it doesn’t really make sense to make _James_ Head Boy, does it, when he’s caused half the trouble …’ 

‘And I’m not even a prefect!’ 

‘It must have been because of last year,’ said Remus thoughtfully. ‘When you saved Snape.’ 

‘Glad to know something good came out of it,’ muttered Sirius guiltily. 

‘Well, whatever it was, this is great!’ said Peter. ‘James can get us out of detention now, can’t you, James?’ 

‘Not with Evans as Head Girl,’ smirked Sirius. ‘She is, isn’t she?’ 

James nodded, ignoring Sirius’s knowing look. ‘I just saw her in the prefects’ compartment. She had the badge.’ 

‘Aha – so you’re going to be spending some quality time with the lovely Miss Evans this year then.’ 

James shook his head. ‘We’ll have to work together – Merlin, I don’t even know what a Head Boy _does_ – but I reckon I ought to try to leave her alone for the most part.’ 

Remus gave him an appraising look. ‘I think she’ll think all the better of you for it, James.’ 

A sharp whistle from the guard interrupted their conversation. James helped Peter heave his trunk onto the train. Sirius and Remus followed after them and the doors of the Hogwarts Express slammed shut. Slowly, the train chugged out of the station, picking up speed as it went. 

They were off to their final year of school. 

~ * ~ 

_I can do this_ , Lily thought to herself as she watched the other prefects fill the compartment. She’d have to brief them once they had all assembled – she and the Head Boy, whoever he was. Lily said a short prayer that it wasn’t the Slytherin prefect, Cassius Meliflua. _Anyone_ but Meliflua. He was a nasty piece of work, and he particularly despised Lily, not least because she was Muggle-born. 

Lily ran through the other Slytherin prefects in her mind. Drucilla Malfoy, the snobbish flaxen-haired seventh-year who shared Meliflua’s prejudice against Muggle-borns. The two sixth-years: Ophelia Greengrass, the ice queen of Slytherin, and Evan Rosier, who was actually quite jolly … unless you were Muggle-born – then he turned nasty. And it was highly likely that the new fifth-year prefects would follow their lead. But not all the prefects were from Slytherin. Most of the others were good sorts. She had always got along with Zinnia Prewett and Benjy Fenwick, the two Gryffindor sixth-years. Stella Engle, a seventh-year Ravenclaw, was Muggle-born like Lily. Christopher Berguise, from Hufflepuff, was in Lily’s Arithmancy class. Lily wondered if he might be Head Boy. More likely it would be Dionysus McKinnon from Ravenclaw – the McKinnon family had a long tradition of being Head Girls and Boys. 

A tap on her shoulder shook Lily out of her mental contemplation. She smiled as she found herself staring into the gentle face of her fellow Gryffindor prefect, Remus Lupin. 

‘Remus,’ she said happily, ‘how was your summer?’ 

‘Oh – it was all right. Uneventful.’ He shrugged. ‘Anyway, I hear that congratulations are in order, Lily.’ Like Potter before him, Remus took in the badge pinned to her cloak and offered his hand. Lily shook it more warmly than she had Potter’s, however. 

‘You wouldn’t happen to be …’ she started to ask. 

‘Head Boy?’ said Remus before she could finish. ‘Thankfully not!’ Then his face changed. ‘You haven’t heard? He didn’t tell you?’ 

‘Heard? Who didn’t tell me? Remus, do you know who it is?’ 

Slowly, Remus nodded. 

‘It’s not … not Meliflua, is it?’ 

Remus started to laugh. ‘No, no – don’t worry, Lily. I assure you, Meliflua is no more Head Boy than I am.’ 

‘Well, that’s a relief. I can rest easy knowing that. So, is it Dionysus or Chris?’ Secretly, Lily hoped it was affable Chris, whom she’d always warmed to more than studious, strict Dionysus. 

‘It’s not – you really have no idea, do you, Lily? I thought he’d have told you – when he came over – I guess not …’ 

Lily stared at him in bewilderment. Who had come over and when? ‘What are you talking about, Remus?’ 

‘Lily – the Head Boy is –’ 

‘Am I late?’ James Potter’s messy black head popped back into the compartment. 

‘James,’ finished Remus. 

Lily stared in shocked silence. 

_I take it back,_ she thought. _Anyone but Cassius Meliflua_ or _James Potter_. 

~ * ~ 

There was a distinct air of hostility in the prefects’ compartment. The silence as Lily took down the names of the new prefects was unnerving. When she had finished, she looked up and tried to appear confident. 

‘Well, most of you already know me,’ she began awkwardly. ‘And Potter.’ Potter’s head rose at the sound of his name, but he didn’t speak. He was absurdly out of place, a trouble-maker in the midst of prefects. For the tenth time since she’d heard (which had only been fifteen minutes ago at most), she wondered if the Headmaster was in his right mind, making Potter Head Boy. 

‘Unfortunately,’ came the snide voice of Cassius Meliflua. He stared down his nose at her, a look that all too plainly expressed his disdain. Lily decided that the best course of action would be to ignore him. 

‘I’m sure you all want to be off with your friends, so I’ll just give you your start-of-term instructions quickly.’ Lily glanced briefly at Potter as she said this, wondering if she was supposed to let him say something. He obviously had no clue what he ought to be doing, so she continued. ‘Passwords – you’ll find your respective house passwords in here.’ She extracted a stack of envelopes, each labelled with a house name, and passed them out. 

‘Gryffindors … Hufflepuffs … Slytherins … and Ravenclaws. There. We’ll have to lead our first-years after the feast, as usual – let’s have the fifth-years do it, shall we?’ 

The fifth-year prefects murmured their assent. 

‘Great, all right, the last thing now – we have to arrange prefect duty dates. Seven days a week, and there’s twenty-four of us, so if we split evenly, we can have at least three a day, and four on three days – let’s make it Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Does anyone have a particular day in mind?’ 

‘Can’t do Thursdays,’ said Zoe McClaire promptly. ‘Gobstones Club.’ 

‘Not on Quidditch practice day,’ several voices said in unison. 

‘I’ve got Charms Club meetings on Tuesdays,’ said Arthur Goldstein. 

‘I'd rather not do it on prefect meeting day,’ said Ophelia Greengrass with disdain.

'Me too,' chimed six people. 

Lily closed her eyes briefly, regretting asking for everybody’s opinions at once. ‘OK! One by one, then. Let’s start with the Gryffindors –’ 

‘Ah yes,’ cut in Drucilla Malfoy. ‘House favouritism.’ 

Lily felt her face flush. She hadn’t meant to be biased; Zinnia Prewett and Benjy Fenwick had simply been nearest to her. ‘And I suppose we Slytherins will come last, to take whatever’s left,’ continued Drucilla silkily. ‘I wouldn’t have expected anything more.’ 

‘Fine,’ snapped Lily rashly. ‘Slytherins first, then. What day would _you_ like, Drucilla?’ 

‘I wasn’t aware that we were on first name terms, Evans,’ sniffed Drucilla. ‘I’ll have Wednesdays.’ She watched with a triumphant look in her eyes as Lily wrote it down. She had named the day that typically had the fewest lessons (which usually meant less homework) scheduled for the sixth- and seventh-years, and Lily realised with a sinking feeling that she’d fallen for Drucilla’s cunning trick. Across the compartment, several Ravenclaws were giving her contemptuous glances. But she had no choice but to continue with the rest of the Slytherins now. 

‘Meliflua?’ she said briskly. 

‘Wednesdays,’ he said lazily. 

Ophelia Greengrass filled in the last Wednesday slot. Evan Rosier and Altair Nott claimed Thursdays. Estella Crouch considered a moment before, surprisingly, choosing a different date from her house-mates. 

‘I’ll have Tuesdays. I might go to the Gobstones Club once in a while,’ she explained to Rosier and Nott. 

‘You’ve done us Slytherins,’ said Meliflua. ‘There’s no other business for us here now.’ 

‘I’ve got to finish this –’ 

‘That isn’t our business already.’ 

‘Oh – all right,’ said Lily. It probably wasn’t worth arguing with him. ‘You can go – prefect meetings will be on Mondays.’ 

‘You don’t have to state the obvious, Evans,’ sneered Drucilla as she rose to go. All the other Slytherin prefects followed Drucilla and Meliflua’s lead and filed out of the compartment. 

‘They ought to wait for the rest of us,’ Lily heard Dionysus McKinnon say to Stella Engle in an undertone. 

‘They weren’t going to listen to Lily,’ said Stella reasonably. ‘You know what Meliflua and Malfoy are like.’ 

‘Potter ought to do something, then.’ 

Lily saw, out of the corner of her eye, Potter’s face darken almost imperceptibly. However, he didn’t make any other indication that he had overheard. 

‘Ravenclaws next, then?’ she soldiered on bravely. 

~ * ~ 

When the first-years had all been sorted, the school had been watered and fed (to use Dumbledore’s expression), and the start-of-term notices had been given out, Dumbledore rose once more to make a speech. 

‘You may notice,’ he said in a grave voice, which held none of the sparkle that had been there just moments ago, ‘that several people, who should be sitting amongst you, are not present.’ He paused to allow students to look around them uneasily. Lily stared at her empty plate, her heart heavy. She could remember clearly the start-of-term feast last year, when her best friend Aura Banning had failed to return to school. Which students would be devastated this year by the loss of their intimate friends? 

‘It is with a heavy heart that I announce the passing of the following students during the summer holidays. 

‘From Hufflepuff house, Shelagh Garland. 

‘From Ravenclaw house, Betty and Michael Ryan. 

‘From Gryffindor house, Jeremy McFarland.’ 

In the conspicuous silence that followed this announcement, the missing words, ‘From Slytherin house,’ rang in everyone’s ears. Lily glanced at the house table at the far end from the Gryffindors. Most of the Slytherins seemed unaffected; several were deep in conversation and not even paying attention. But there were a few who looked as stunned as everyone else. 

‘I would like,’ said Dumbledore quietly, ‘for us to honour these four students, who have been your classmates and friends, and have now joined the ranks of those who are victims of Lord Voldemort.’ 

Dumbledore raised his goblet. In shocked silence – not least because of Dumbledore’s use of the unspeakable name – the rest of the school followed suit. Lily’s hand trembled as she held up her goblet. Jeremy McFarland was – would have been – in his fourth year. Shelagh Garland had been in her Arithmancy class. She didn’t know Betty or Michael Ryan, but she did know that they didn’t deserve to die. None of them did. 

‘I spoke, before we parted last year, of the terror descending upon us. I did not lie to you then, and I do not lie to you now. Lord Voldemort is a real and imminent threat, and we are no closer to stopping him than we were when he first started to gain power, six years ago. These deaths are not the first, and they will not be the last. 

‘Here, at Hogwarts, you will find sanctuary. While you are in school, it may seem as though the evil outside is far away. But I hope you will all take heed, and realise that this war is not a distant battle. It is very real, and if we do not learn that now, the consequences will indeed be dire.’ 

On this impressive note, he concluded his speech. Scattered applause followed, punctuated with anxious muttering and fearful whispers. Yet another year had started, with more students who would never return. Lily couldn’t help but feel the weight of the war pressing down on them. 

That, plus the Slytherins’ attitudes towards her, made her stomach do an uneasy turn. 

It was going to be a long year. 


	2. Determination

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER TWO:** **Determination**

_September, 1976_

There were three more attacks within the week. It was a tense and subdued mood that hung over the school – two students had been called away due to the death of their family members. 

‘Six years,’ said Lily heavily, as she, Remus and Potter walked back to the Gryffindor common room together after a prefect meeting. ‘It’s been going on almost as long as we’ve been at Hogwarts, and we’re nowhere near the end.’ 

‘The end has to come, eventually,’ said Remus. ‘It can’t go on forever.’ 

‘But it’s been so long – so many people have died already. How much more can we take?’ 

Remus shook his head quietly. ‘People’s spirits are flagging. It seems like a losing battle.’ 

And he was right – the first few years, no one had taken You-Know-Who very seriously. He’d been called by his name then: Lord Voldemort, the chilling title that people dared not speak now. And then, fear grew as the enemies of the Dark Lord mysteriously met with gruesome ends. At first, there had been no concrete proof, only whispers of an evil – people stopped speaking the name then, for fear that to say it was to invite his wrath. 

The Ministry tried in vain to hunt You-Know-Who down, but even with all their Aurors put to the task, there was no stopping him. Last Christmas, the Aurors claimed a controversial victory, and many believed the war to be over soon. But it continued to drag on. The murders continued. The fear escalated. 

Potter had been surprisingly quiet as they walked, letting Lily and Remus do most of the talking. He finally spoke now. 

‘Nevertheless, we will fight,’ he said in a voice of steel. 

Lily and Remus fell silent, struck by the power of his words. Lily found herself feeling unreasonably heartened. As though because of what Potter said, there was real hope in the world. 

That was absurd. Four words out of Potter’s mouth couldn’t change anything … could it? 

They rounded a corner and came face to face with Severus Snape. Lily nodded civilly to him; Snape’s lip curled and he turned away from her, his sneer deepening when his eyes landed on Remus. 

‘Severus,’ acknowledged Remus politely. Snape recoiled at the sound of his name. 

‘Don’t deign to speak to me, you filthy –’ He suddenly saw Potter and cut off his sentence halfway. Lily closed her eyes wearily. She wasn’t keen to break up another Potter-and-Snape duel now. 

‘Potter,’ she warned. 

And another surprise. Potter said nothing, but stepped aside to allow Snape to pass. He did so frostily, not without a loathing glare at the two boys. When he had gone, Potter continued walking as though the exchange had not taken place. 

Lily was amazed. 

~ * ~ 

James found Sirius in the kitchens, staring morosely into the fire as house-elves busied themselves around him. There were at least ten empty Butterbeer bottles littered around his chair and a hefty lot more on the table in front of him. James’s Invisibility Cloak lay at Sirius’s feet; from this James gathered that Sirius had used it to cart the Marauders’ entire Butterbeer store down here, away from the crowded common room. 

‘Blimey, did you clean out the whole stack?’ asked James, taking a seat opposite his best friend. 

‘How was prefect meeting?’ Sirius returned, ignoring his question. 

‘It was all right …’ 

Sirius took a swig of Butterbeer and stared at James with piercing black eyes. 

‘Like hell it was.’ 

James sighed. ‘Yeah, okay. It was crap. Cassius Meliflua can’t seem to take it that he isn’t Head Boy while I am and he’s giving no end of trouble. And of course, all the Slytherin prefects are following his lead.’ 

Sirius tossed him a Butterbeer. ‘Have one.’ 

‘Thanks.’ James uncorked the bottle with the deft fingers of an experienced Butterbeer drinker. They sat and drank in silence for a while. 

‘It’s not just the Slytherins, Padfoot,’ said James, after he’d downed half his bottle. ‘The other prefects think I’m rubbish too. Dionysus McKinnon keeps giving me looks like he thinks I’m not good enough and he’d be a better Head Boy and I think he’s right.’ 

Sirius barked out a laugh. ‘You’re a Marauder, Prongs; obviously you’ll be rubbish as Head Boy! I mean, it’s a _law-abiding_ post.’ 

‘Dumbledore must be off his rocker.’ James stared moodily at his Butterbeer. What had the Headmaster been thinking, indeed? Why him? He wasn’t any good – he couldn’t possibly be any good as a Head Boy. 

‘Hey.’ Sirius punched his shoulder. ‘You’ll be OK. They’ll come round.’ 

This was so unexpected, coming from Sirius, that James couldn’t help gaping at him. 

‘What? Did I say something wrong? You’ll come out all right in the end. Merlin knows we’ve had enough stuffy Head Boys to last a lifetime. You’re one of a kind, Prongs.’ 

James didn’t know how to respond to this. Instead, he finished off his Butterbeer. 

‘How’s Lily, then?’ Sirius changed the subject abruptly. 

‘Don’t think she’s too pleased. She’s doing most of the work; I don’t really know where this Head Boy stuff starts and ends. And most of the prefects probably look up to her anyway, seeing she’s actually _been_ one.’ 

‘Most of the prefects.’ 

‘Yeah. Damned Slytherins.’ 

They lapsed into silence again. 

‘What’s up with you, anyhow?’ asked James finally. 

‘Snape.’ 

‘Bugger him. What’d he do now?’ 

‘Saw him in the corridor. His mouth’s as foul as ever. I didn’t do anything to him, if you’re wondering.’ 

‘What’d he say?’ 

‘Made snide comments about Moony. God, I’d have punched the bloody daylights out of him, if McGonagall hadn’t chosen to come by right then.’ 

‘She take points?’ 

‘Just told us to move along.’ 

‘Reckon we ought to stop messing about with Snape, anyhow,’ said James seriously. ‘After –’ 

‘After I was such an arse last year,’ Sirius finished. ‘Agreed. But if you think I’m about to just take whatever Snape’s got up his sleeve –’ 

‘No, you’re right. Not if he starts it. But I’m through searching for fights.’ James’s mind involuntarily flashed back to a scene a little more than a year ago, causing him to wince as he remembered the disgusted look on Lily’s face and her despising tone of voice as she berated him for picking on Snape. At the time, he’d dismissed the incident, but recently, it – and other assorted, similar situations – had been creeping guiltily to the forefront of his memory. 

‘It’s not just Snape,’ Sirius said, after a long swig of Butterbeer. James raised his eyebrows in question. ‘Must be my day for bumping into Slytherins in the corridors. I’d only just left Snivellus when Reg appeared.’ 

James nodded sympathetically. A meeting between Sirius and his brother was no reunion picnic – relations between them had been horribly strained since Sirius had left home last Christmas. ‘Go on,’ he said. ‘What happened then?’ 

‘He …’ Sirius sighed. ‘He asked me when I was going back.’ 

‘Are you –’ 

‘Damn it, _no_! I’m never going back there, not back to that old mausoleum of a house, not back to that bigoted old bat, or that blasted tyrant!’ James noticed, though, that Sirius didn’t condemn his brother along with his parents. ‘And I told him so,’ Sirius added defiantly. 

‘Don’t think he took it too well, did he?’ 

‘’Course not. Bloody git’s too well-trained. Flared up in their defence – bloody hell, they’ve really brainwashed him well – and we got shouting, and McGonagall turned up again and _then_ she took points.’ 

‘Tough luck,’ said James, but Sirius didn’t seem to notice. 

‘It’s just … oh, it’s dumb to imagine, but what if Reg hadn’t made Slytherin? Damn it, he used to be okay, I mean …’ 

‘He’s still your brother.’ 

‘Hell, what am I thinking? They aren’t my family any more. Probably blasted me off the old Black tapestry too. And I’m well shot of them!’ He slammed his bottle down on the table violently, causing it to shake. James decided that it was time for a change in topic. 

‘You know, I met Snape earlier on too –’ 

‘Always skulking around, that greasy bat,’ interjected Sirius. 

‘I don’t suppose he’s that keen to mess with us anymore, though. You’ll be interested to know that he shut right up when he saw me.’ 

Sirius’s eyebrows went up. ‘And what did _you_ do, Mr Head Boy?’ 

‘Nothing. ’Course, Lily and Remus were there, so it would’ve been three on one, if he’d tried anything. Which he didn’t.’ 

‘And of course,’ Sirius waggled his eyebrows, ‘ _Lily_ was there, so _you_ had to be nice. Oh, I see right through you, Prongs.’ 

James grinned and gave Sirius a playful punch. Sirius returned the favour, and soon they were having a good-natured fist-fight over the table, which ended when one of the Butterbeer bottles flew off the table and exploded in the fire, sending the house-elves into a squealing fright. 

‘Oops,’ said James, as glass shards flew over the floor. Mercifully, none of the house-elves were hit. 

‘Sorry,’ Sirius told the house-elves. 

‘You is not to worry, sir, we is cleaning the glass right away,’ squeaked one of them. ‘Better leave them to it,’ muttered James. ‘C’mon.’ He got up and started to pack the bottles back into the crate. Sirius got out his wand and supplemented by Banishing bottles in. 

‘We’re going to need to replenish our stock,’ commented Sirius, as they made their way back to the common room. 

‘That’s your fault. I only had one.’ 

‘Wish it were Firewhisky.’ 

‘You’d be dead drunk.’ 

‘Would not.’ 

‘Would too.’ 

~ * ~ 

One of the greatest perks of being a prefect, Lily felt, was the prefects’ bathroom: spacious and roomy, with an abundance of fluffy towels and fragrant soaps, and best of all, a bathtub the size of a small swimming pool, which could produce the finest bubble bath Lily had ever seen. 

Lily undressed slowly and wrapped herself in a soft towel. Sitting on the edge of the tub, she leaned in and reached for her favourite taps – lukewarm water, the tiniest touch of bubbles and lavender scent. She allowed it to fill just so she could lie in it with her head above the surface, then she dropped the towel and got in. 

_Heavenly …_ Lily closed her eyes and leant her head back, enjoying the feel of the warm water on her bare skin. 

It was perfect. Especially for times like now, when she felt totally exhausted – mentally, if not physically. 

She hadn’t even been back to school a week and already things were going wrong. 

The whole school was tense; clear battle lines seemed to be forming amongst the students already. The problem was, Lily wondered what the sides really stood for. 

Was it a matter of blood – the pure-blood fanatics against Muggle-borns? Or power – You-Know-Who sympathisers against those who stood against him? Or just everyone against Slytherin because that was the house You-Know-Who was reputed to be from, and the maligned house was just fighting back? 

Lily didn’t know. Little scuffles broke out in the halls almost every day. She just wanted it to stop. 

If they couldn’t have peace within the school, how could they hope to find it in the world outside? 

The prefects didn’t all agree. The Slytherins, following Cassius Meliflua’s lead, opposed her every statement. They were cold and insolent and it didn’t matter that they were only a quarter of the prefects, because they cast a terrible mood over the meetings. 

It wasn’t just the Slytherins; the other prefects didn’t all share her views regarding the war and what it was doing to the school either. They listened politely, but she could see clearly in their eyes that they were sceptical and even disdainful. She wasn’t getting their respect. 

And Potter wasn’t much help. He wasn’t as bad as before, Lily admitted – thankfully he seemed to have given up being obnoxious and hex-happy, but the fact was, he hadn’t even been a prefect before. The other prefects eyed him with distrust; she didn’t blame them – after all, he _was_ a notorious troublemaker. Nobody could understand how he had suddenly become Head Boy. 

Potter just kept quiet at meetings and allowed Lily to do all the talking. She did most of the paperwork too. While she was grateful that at least she didn’t have to put up with Potter starting fights with the Slytherins anymore, she wished she had got a partner who actually knew the ropes, and could share the workload with her. 

Or at least a partner whom she didn’t feel edgy around, as she did with Potter. Half the time she expected him to crack and start flirting with her, or throw out a casual jinx at the Slytherin prefects when they made sneering comments. His new-found silence and self-control was disconcerting, to say the least. 

Lily let out a deep sigh and sunk deeper into the water, wondering how she was going to survive the year. 

The thought crossed her mind that she could just leave, the way Petunia kept asking her to. Lily toyed with the idea. It would be so easy to give up and go home. 

Petunia would be delighted. She’d have her sister back. 

She wouldn’t have to put up with tight-lipped glares from the Slytherins and unconvinced stares from the other prefects. 

She wouldn’t have to break up fight after fight in the corridors. 

She’d be away from the dark cloud hanging over them all. 

Suddenly, she felt ashamed of herself. She couldn’t just run away from Hogwarts and expect that there wouldn’t be repercussions. 

She wouldn’t be anywhere further from the war if she left the magical world. She was a witch, and magic was part of her. Dumbledore hadn’t made her Head Girl so that she would run away and shirk the responsibility. 

She’d help to make the wizarding world a better place if she could. 

_Nevertheless, we will fight_. 

Potter’s words came, unbidden, to her mind, and she couldn’t help brooding on them. 

_We_ will _fight. For peace – between all magical people. Because Voldemort isn’t just working to eradicate Muggle-borns. He’s disrupting peace and spreading chaos to gain power. That’s what we have to stop._

Understanding swept over her like a fresh breeze. It was as though the doors to the future were opened just a crack, and she caught a glimpse of what was beyond: Lily knew that she was going to fight Voldemort – suddenly, she knew she wasn’t going to call him You-Know-Who like the rest of the terrified wizarding world – and the disharmony that he stood for. It was as simple as that. 

And as complicated. 

Nevertheless, she would fight. 


	3. Slivers of Hope

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER THREE:** **Slivers of Hope**

_October, 1976_

‘Dementors,’ said Professor Trimble, pacing the length of the classroom floor. He stopped at the window and turned to face the class. ‘One of the foulest Dark creatures to ever walk the earth.’ 

The seventh-year Defence class watched him silently, attentively. Then Stella Engle raised her hand. 

‘Miss Engle.’ 

‘Are they any relation to Lethifolds, Professor?’ 

‘Good, take a point for Ravenclaw,’ said Professor Trimble approvingly. ‘Dementors and Lethifolds stem from the same family tree. However, while a Lethifold devours its prey whole, leaving no trace of its victim, Dementors leave behind an empty shell of a person after delivering its most lethal weapon: the Dementor’s Kiss. The victim’s soul is sucked out.’ He paused, allowing the impact of his words to sink in. 

‘We will focus more on Dementors in this class. While Lethifolds are essentially Dark creatures and akin to Dementors, they have a considerably milder mental effect on people, and it is unlikely that one will ever appear in Britain, as they dwell solely in tropical climates. I believe _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ has a comprehensible section on Lethifolds, which you may consult if you should wish. 

‘Dementors, now, have a great impact on the human mind, which makes them harder to repulse. Go near a Dementor, and every happy thought will be sucked out of your head, leaving you with your darkest moments of despair. This is the reason why battling Dementors is near impossible for many experienced wizards and witches, even though they may master the defensive spell.’ With a few swift strides, he crossed to the blackboard and wrote, in large block letters, _Expecto Patronum_. 

‘The Patronus Charm,’ he announced. ‘The only known resistance to Dementors. It takes a great deal of power and mental will to conjure it in the presence of one, because it requires the opposite of what the Dementor purports in order to succeed, and this must be supplied by the wizard casting the spell. 

‘You will notice that rather than a curse, it is a charm that repels Dementors. This brings us back to a distinction which you should all have learnt in first year. Can you tell me what that is … Mr Lupin?’ 

‘Charms and curses are of opposite ends of a spectrum, Professor,’ recited Remus. ‘With charms being the Light end, and curses tending towards the Dark.’ 

_But that’s not wholly true, is it?_ wondered Lily. They had learnt basic defensive spells in fourth and fifth year, and many of those had been curses. If curses could be used as protection against the Dark Arts, was it right to classify them as ‘Dark’ as well? 

‘A point to Gryffindor,’ said Professor Trimble. ‘So, let’s examine the Patronus Charm. Incidentally, it works against Lethifolds as well; the Patronus – take note that the plural is Patronuses and not Patroni – when properly conjured is fairly solid, and thus may also repel other Dark creatures and theoretically, even serve as a physical deterrent to attackers, although this has never exactly been experimented on.’ 

‘Why not, Professor?’ asked Potter. 

‘The difficulty of the charm makes it a less suitable choice of defence against simpler Dark creatures – say, the boggart; or the Kappa.’ 

‘But if you _could_ do it –’ 

‘Only a corporeal Patronus will have a significant effect, at any rate. Yes, Miss Meadowes?’ 

‘What do you mean by a “corporeal Patronus”?’ 

‘A corporeal Patronus takes on a visible form. A clear, solid form, unlike more feeble attempts, which only produce a silvery mist. Let me demonstrate.’ Professor Trimble waved his wand and said, in a strangely bored tone, ‘ _Expecto Patronum_.’ 

A burst of silvery dust shot out from his wand, looking very much like mist in the air. Professor Trimble gave his wand another wave and the mist dissolved. 

‘A non-distinct Patronus. It happens when a lack of emotion has been put into performing the charm. The Patronus Charm is a strong bit of magic, and like all strong magic, it requires the caster to feel for it; no simple muttering of incantations and wand-waving techniques can guarantee the success of the Patronus. In fact, the wand movement is irrelevant. Besides the incantation, a Patronus Charm is not something you can memorise and practise blindly to perform. Watch.’ 

Professor Trimble took a deep breath. He seemed to be concentrating hard on something. And then he bellowed, ‘ _Expecto Patronum_!’ 

A silver figure shot out of his wand, four-legged with pointed ears and a snout bearing two prominent nostrils. A giant pig gambolled across the classroom; the class erupted in laughter. 

‘ _That’s_ a Patronus?’ grinned Black. ‘A pig?’ 

Professor Trimble looked greatly affronted. He made his Patronus disappear with a curt wave of his wand. 

‘Each Patronus is unique to the wizard who casts the charm. No two Patronuses are alike – even if they may be the same creature. There are many theories about what Patronuses actually are, but we will not go into that now. The essential thing to note is that your Patronus will be like a shield, a guard against a Dementor.’ 

The class didn’t look like they quite believed this. Lily didn’t blame them; she had trouble imagining the silver pig, large though it was, charging down a Dark creature. It seemed more likely to oink and roll around in the mud. 

‘Enough of this now. Wands out – it’s time to see how far you get with the charm. You have the incantation on the board; you have the rest of the lesson to attempt it. Proceed!’ 

Lily extracted her wand, feeling confused. The Patronus Charm was likely more complex magic; the stronger the magic, the greater involvement was required in performing it. However, Professor Trimble had not mentioned exactly what form this involvement should take; what emotional attachment the charm needed. 

‘ _Expecto Patronum_ ,’ Lily said tentatively. As expected, nothing happened. Around her, her classmates were having no greater success. Alice was staring at the board with a bemused sort of expression. Stella attempted the charm, trying all sorts of different pronunciations, but to no avail. Black was getting frustrated as not even the slightest hint of a mist appeared. 

Lily glanced at Professor Trimble. He was leaning against the wall in a corner, watching smugly as the class tried in vain to produce even a non-distinct Patronus. Lily had a feeling that it was a sort of quiz – and Professor Trimble wasn’t about to supply the answer until they had exhausted themselves figuring it out. 

‘There’s something he hasn’t told us,’ said Potter behind her. Lily turned to look at him and nodded. 

‘Like the Boggart-Repelling Charm,’ she said thoughtfully. ‘That needs laughter …’ 

‘Humour,’ said Potter. ‘That’s the essence of the spell. We haven’t got the essence of this one – that’s why we can’t do it.’ 

Lily was taken aback. Potter was right. They needed to find the essence of the charm – the basis for the magic’s formation. 

_‘It’ll take a powerful Revealing Charm first to uncover the spell web.’_ An Auror had told her that last year. Would that advice work here? If she could understand where the Patronus Charm stemmed from … 

‘ _Perspicuous Expecto Patronum_ ,’ said Lily, not entirely sure if her idea would work. 

There was a small burst of light. The rest of the class turned to stare. The ball of light glowed, a kind of warmth emanating from it; an encouraging feeling flooded through Lily, only she couldn’t quite place what it was. 

Slowly, she lowered her wand. The light and its radiating warmth faded, but Lily felt happy. Whatever it was, the light had spread a feeling of joy through the room. 

_Joy_. 

The Patronus Charm opposed Dementors. Dementors sucked joy and happiness from a person.

‘It’s happiness, isn’t it?’ Potter had reached the same conclusion as her. ‘You’ve got to be happy to cast it.’ 

‘Ten points to Gryffindor,’ said Professor Trimble, beaming. ‘That’s right. As you all have probably felt, thanks to Miss Evan’s little demonstration, the Patronus Charm has its roots in pure joy. This has to be injected into your spell for it to succeed. Which is why none of you, bored, frustrated or confused as you were, could manage a successful attempt. 

‘To perform the Patronus Charm, you need to have on your mind a single, happy thought – you must concentrate on the joy this thought brings you as you cast the spell. As you may recall, if you were listening to me previously, Dementors suck out all the happiness, leaving only despair, and this is precisely the reason why it is extremely difficult to perform the Patronus Charm to repel them.’ 

The bell rang then, signalling the end of class. There was a rustle as everyone shoved their quills and parchment into their bags. 

‘Homework: three feet on why the Patronus Charm is an effective deterrent to Dementors, to be handed in the next lesson,’ concluded Professor Trimble. ‘We will continue to work on the charm then. Class is dismissed.’ 

~ * ~ 

Hallowe’en was approaching. James considered this during Potions, as he lazily skinned his Shrivelfig for the Essence of Euphoria that they were supposed to be making. There would almost certainly be a Hogsmeade trip near Hallowe’en. His eyes flickered across the room to where Lily was bent over her cauldron. 

Contrary to what he had told Remus at the start of the term, James was finding it hard to keep away from Lily. He’d refrained from asking her out, or making any uncalled-for advances towards her so far, and she in return had been civil towards him. But she remained unreachable as ever, and although James thought he probably wasn’t good enough for her, he couldn’t really stop thinking about her. 

Would it hurt, he wondered, to try, just one last time, to ask her out to Hogsmeade? Dare he try again, knowing that refusal was likely imminent? 

His knife slipped and sliced his index finger. James let out a yelp and dropped the knife with a clatter. Several students jumped, Lily included. She looked across the room, annoyed at the disturbance, although her glance softened when it landed on the blood trickling from his finger. 

‘Merlin, James, will you be careful with that knife,’ muttered Sirius. 

‘Just a small cut, Potter, no need to fuss,’ said Professor Slughorn, ambling over. He peered into James’s cauldron. ‘You’ll need to work faster, though; you ought to be at least adding the fig leaves by now.’ 

‘Yes, sir,’ said James. Sighing, he ran his wand over his finger. The cut closed up immediately and he threw in his skinned Shrivelfig. Gritting his teeth, he stared determinedly at his cauldron and proceeded to speed up. 

~ * ~ 

Lily was beginning to dread prefect meetings. 

Granted, they were only held once a week, a gathering where pertinent issues regarding upcoming events and – what Lily dreaded most – discipline were discussed, and the rest of the prefect body received their instructions from the Head Boy and Girl. 

In Lily’s case, it was just the Head Girl. Potter still hadn’t spoken at any of the past meetings, just watched quietly from his seat beside her. 

She watched now as he nodded to her and took his seat, where he would most likely remain mute for the rest of the session. The other prefects were filing into the classroom at a snail’s pace. Lily wished they’d hurry up so she could get over with this meeting. 

At long last, everybody was seated. There were still two empty seats among the Slytherin prefects. It was already five minutes into meeting time. 

‘This meeting will come to order,’ said Lily, trying to inject some life into her weary voice. ‘The first order of business will be Hallowe’en, which as you all know, is in two weeks. Professor McGonagall has requested that I nominate ten of you to help with decorations in the Great Hall.’ 

The prefects watched her warily, their eyes clearly showing their apprehension at being chosen. 

‘I’ll ask, then –’ 

The classroom door opened with a clang, interrupting her sentence. Cassius Meliflua and Drucilla Malfoy strolled in casually. 

‘You’re late,’ said Lily sharply. Drucilla looked down her perfectly chiselled nose at her and pursed her lips. Meliflua merely smirked. 

‘What are you going to do about that?’ 

It was a challenge to her authority. Lily decided it would be best to let it pass this time. 

‘Sit and don’t let it happen again,’ she told them, wondering briefly what she would do if they tried to counter her. Thankfully, they sat, still sneering. Lily took a deep breath and continued. 

‘As I was saying, who would like to volunteer to help with Hallowe’en decorations?’ 

The classroom was completely silent. A feeling of despair washed across Lily as twenty-four pairs of eyes continued to stare blankly at her. 

‘Volunteers?’ said Drucilla Malfoy condescendingly, as if the notion was beneath her. ‘I was under the impression that it was customary for the work to be _assigned_ to the lower-ranked prefects.’ 

‘I merely hoped for some initiative,’ Lily explained. To her horror, she could hear a plea in her voice. 

Mareta Quimble, the sixth-year Hufflepuff prefect, suggested cautiously, ‘Maybe you could draw lots. Since – I reckon no one’s keen on it …’ A derisive snort from Meliflua caused her to shut her mouth, red-faced. 

‘I’ll do it,’ said Potter suddenly, raising his hand. Everyone’s gaze shifted to him in surprise. 

‘I volunteer too,’ said Remus, looking slightly shamefaced. He was followed by a number of hesitant prefects, after they had recovered from the initial shock caused by Potter, who was probably the busiest among them, what with the seventh-year workload and his role as Quidditch captain, volunteering. 

Lily took down the names as though in a daze, not quite believing that she’d succeeded – no, _James Potter_ had succeeded in making the prefects take initiative in the usually allocated duties. 

‘Thank you,’ she told them gratefully. A look at the next thing on the agenda brought her firmly and dismally back to reality, however. ‘The next order of business is –’ Lily swallowed hard ‘– reports.’ Bracing herself for the inevitable storm of problems and complaints, she looked around enquiringly. 

‘I’ve had to confiscate twenty-eight more forbidden items since last meeting,’ Dionysus McKinnon started off seriously. ‘I think students have the impression that we aren’t as serious about helping the school administration enforce the rules.’ 

‘I agree,’ said Bernard Callusby, the bespectacled Hufflepuff sixth-year. ‘Some of the students just won’t listen when we tell them off.’ 

‘I’m sure it’s not everyone in the school we’re dealing with here,’ said Lily. ‘Just some isolated pranksters …’ 

‘We’re facing hostility from the Slytherins in particular,’ Chris Berguise said darkly. 

‘Exactly how do _you_ lot treat us?’ Altair Nott flared up immediately. 

‘It would help if you didn’t keep bullying our first-years,’ objected Mareta. 

‘As well as bullying,’ interjected Lily sternly, ‘there hasn’t been a decrease in the number of fights going around the school – magic or non. Something’s going to have to be done. We keep stopping them, and bringing in the teachers, but we need to get at the root of the problem.’ 

‘If you’re talking about why they’re fighting,’ said Benjy Fenwick, ‘we’re on opposing sides of the war, aren’t we?’ 

‘And what sides are those, Fenwick?’ sneered Meliflua. 

‘You think we don’t know you Slytherins are a bad lot – _You-Know-Who was a Slytherin_!’ 

‘Stop it!’ Lily said desperately. ‘This is why we can’t help keep more peace in the school, if we’re squabbling among ourselves!’ 

‘Seems more likely,’ said Meliflua distinctly, ‘that the lack of discipline is a result of having ineffective leaders for the student population. And quite understandable, Evans. You can’t expect us to respect a Mudblood.’ 

There was instant uproar. Lily could barely make herself heard over the din that ensued: the Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor prefects yelling at Meliflua and decrying all of Slytherin house, Nott defending his house heatedly. It was all over a word, a meaningless distinction. Mudblood was just a word; it didn’t hurt anyone physically … but it was an excuse – their excuse – to let the fighting continue. And she couldn’t make them see otherwise. Lily felt like crying. 

‘Shut it, all of you!’ Potter’s bellow effectively quietened the room. He seemed to quail slightly; not all the cold, mistrustful stares fixed on him were from the Slytherin end – in fact, Dionysus was watching him with narrowed eyes. But then he stood a little straighter and continued, ‘It’s just like Lily said, isn’t it? Fine role models we are –’ 

‘Look who’s talking,’ interrupted Meliflua. 

‘I know I’m no saint,’ Potter shot back. ‘And neither are the rest of you. Think about it – sometime in the past, whether recent or not, a small incident became a big grudge, and we just have to get revenge. That’s why we’re fighting, isn’t it? Because we can’t look beyond what happened in the past. Think about that – I know I have.’ 

There was a reflective hush following these words. Even Meliflua was silenced, unable to formulate a retort. 

‘You can’t – you can’t generalise that,’ said Benjy Fenwick finally. His voice was faint and had a hint of defensiveness. 

‘Maybe not. But I’m sure it’s true for most of us here. Maybe you’ve been picked on. Or called – certain names far too long. Or lost someone in the war and you need to take it out on those you think are responsible.’ Potter’s eyes searched the room, as though for an indication of assent, and met Lily’s. 

‘Not many of us have been able to transcend our petty arguments when we deal with each other. But Lily – she’s trying to get us to do so. That’s why she’s Head Girl, Meliflua, however that irks you. She’s just and fair and she’s the right choice. Blood ties don’t command respect, but decency _does_.’ 

 Meliflua opened his mouth to comment, but Dionysus beat him to it. ‘What a

bout you, then?’ The hidden meaning of his simple words wasn’t wasted on Lily – she could see clearly that Dionysus was irked that _he_ wasn’t Head Boy. 

Potter met Dionysus’s eyes levelly. He didn’t answer immediately – _sizing up the opponent_ , was the first thought that sprang to Lily’s mind, even though she knew it was rather unfair to jump to such a conclusion. 

‘I know you’re wondering why I’m Head Boy. And not just one of you. I don’t know. I don’t doubt that you’re more qualified, McKinnon. Or Remus.’ He acknowledged this with a nod to Remus’s direction. ‘Or Chris – or even you, Meliflua.’ His tone turned sceptical on the last, but thankfully he kept it to a minimum. Meliflua’s lip curled, but he said nothing. 

‘But I’ve been given this responsibility, for some unknown reason. And there’s nothing I can do but to live up to it. I’m not going to step down – simply because trust was put in me to undertake this task, and that trust isn’t going to be destroyed if I can help it.’ 

Lily would hardly have expected that a meagre speech, albeit a compelling one (Potter was decidedly charismatic, she had to admit), to invoke an astronomical change in attitudes. Indeed, there was still distrust and ambivalence noticeably written on the faces of the other prefects. 

But there were small signs of positivity: a spark of approval in Chris’s eyes; Remus’s nod of encouragement; the hint of a smile lighting on Stella Engle’s face. Dionysus continued to frown, but quiet acceptance was beginning to dawn in his eyes. 

It was a step forward. 

‘Er – is there any other business?’ asked Lily, breaking the silence. No one made to bring up any other issues. Relieved, she nodded. ‘The meeting will end here, then. See you next week.’ 

She lingered at the table, under the pretence of meticulously packing her quills and parchment, as the other prefects filed out. Only when they had all left the room did she allow herself to slump in her seat and lean her head against her arms, feeling peculiarly drained. In comparison with precedent meetings, this one hadn’t been quite so taxing … but it left her mind whirling. 

Were the rest of the prefects finally coming to terms with her and Potter? She hadn’t been very comfortable with Potter extolling what he believed to be her virtues, but he’d made a valid deduction about the motivations behind the fighting. And for the first time, he was making an effort … and Lily felt a small bubble of hope that maybe – just maybe, he really could be more than he had been … 

A glance at her watch told her that she had better be getting back to Gryffindor Tower. Languidly, she stood and put out the lamps. Gathering her belongings, she exited the classroom. 

_______________________________________________________________________________

**_A/N_** _: I invented the incantation_ Perspicuous _as I thought there must be more Revealing Charms than the standard_ Aparecium _out there. It’s derived from the Latin word_ perspicuus _(clear; transparent; bright; evident)._


	4. Taking a Chance

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER FOUR:** **Taking a Chance**

_October, 1976_

The arrival of an unexpected October blizzard put an end to the first-years’ flying lesson. James helped Madam Hooch gather the old school broomsticks and herd the disappointed first-years back towards the castle. 

James finished locking up the broom shed and glanced at his watch. He had an hour to his next class, and nothing to do between now and then. Sirius would be in Muggle Studies, Remus and Peter in the library studying. James supposed he could always join them, but he didn’t quite fancy holing himself up with a bunch of books at the moment. 

The snow was coming down hard and fast; already a layer of white was forming over the grounds, and visibility was decreasing steadily. James let out a low whistle as he loped across the Quidditch pitch, towards the castle, through the whirling flurry of white flakes. 

He wasn’t the only one out; he could just make out a figure hurrying back to the castle from Hagrid’s hut. He squinted at it, and saw distinctive red hair flying out behind the figure – a girl. 

Lily. 

He could catch up with her, accompany her to the common room – or wherever it was she was headed for. Would that be too presumptuous of him? Surely not … and – his heart started to race at this – perhaps, just perhaps, if he did this right, she might finally accept if he asked her to Hogsmeade. 

A smile spread across his face, as James began to run. 

~ * ~ 

It was evident to Lily that she wasn’t going to be able to help Hagrid with his pumpkins, and if the storm continued to build up, she had better get back to the castle now, before it got worse. Bidding Hagrid farewell, she stepped out into the snow. 

It was colder out than she had expected. The wind howled at her, and the freezing snow lashed at her cheeks. Pulling her cloak tighter around her and clutching her Herbology text to her chest, she started off across the Hogwarts grounds, against the torrent of the strong gale and almost-blinding snow. 

‘Lily!’ 

Her heart sank as the familiar but not-exactly-very-welcome voice of James Potter hailed her. He was hurrying along the snow-covered grounds, his head bowed against the wind. Lily sighed, and out of politeness, stopped briefly to wait for him. It wasn’t that she really detested him now; quite the contrary, in fact. Potter had changed, extraordinarily, since last year. At times, Lily found herself actually warming to him, when he gave her one of his charming smiles – yes, he _did_ have a rather gallant streak in him. He didn’t speak to her much nowadays, nor had he indulged in one of his infamous hex-attacks so far this year. And there was that last prefect meeting … But even considering all this, she couldn’t help being wary, as though this new and improved Potter was a trap she might fall for, like one of his uncountable pranks. Already she had found herself thinking, on many occasions, that he might prove her wrong. But she always caught herself quickly, not willing to trust him so easily. After all, what cause had he given her before to do so? 

‘Lily,’ said Potter again, breathlessly, as he reached her. 

‘Potter,’ she acknowledged with a curt nod and brief upward twitch of her lips, and continued walking. Potter kept up with her easily, with his long strides. At first he was silent, and Lily was torn between being thankful that he was at least not trying to chat her up, or being exasperated that he had made her wait for him to catch her when he had nothing to say. 

‘So what brings you out here, in this snow?’ he finally said, quite obviously trying a little too hard to sound nonchalant. A pick-up line? Lily sighed again, deciding that she preferred the silence. 

‘Hagrid wanted some help with his pumpkins,’ she replied. ‘But – the weather didn’t agree.’ 

Potter nodded amiably. ‘The snow’s really coming on hard – unexpected isn’t it? I mean, it’s only October. The first-years were really disappointed; it’s their first flying lesson. I was supposed to be helping Hooch with the class, ‘cause I’ve got a free period, but she cancelled it because of the storm.’ 

‘I see,’ said Lily, mildly surprised. Potter had the same free period as her? She hadn’t known … 

‘Anyway, I suppose you’ll be heading back to the Tower?’ 

‘Well, I thought of going to the library, but I thought I’d put some of my books down before Transfiguration.’ 

Potter glanced at the heavy bag of books slung over her shoulder, and the textbook she held in her arms. 

‘Let me help you with that –’ He reached out to relieve her of her load. 

‘No – don’t be absurd, Potter – no, really, I can manage!’ She grabbed his wrist to stop him. There really was no need for him to offer. If he thought it would impress her … was he just trying to curry favour with her as a new tactic to get her to go out with him? _Oh Merlin_ , she thought, _when will he stop trying?_

‘All right,’ he said uncertainly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

They were passing the castle courtyard. A small figure burst out of the door and, tripping over her absurdly long cloak, pitched forward, right into Potter. 

‘Oof –’ He doubled over, momentarily winded. Lily suppressed a chuckle, as she noticed the poor girl get to her feet, looking positively terrified at having run head-first into the infamous James Potter. Lily was about to offer her some comfort; reassure her that they weren’t about to gobble her up, when Potter straightened and faced the girl, an odd sizing-up kind of look in his eye. 

‘I’m s-sorry!’ squeaked the girl immediately, apprehensively eyeing the wand that Potter drew out of his pocket. 

Lily hurried whipped out her own wand by reflex, ready to deflect any hexes he might choose to inflict on the hapless girl, as he had so often done for every minor infraction over the years. In that moment, it was the old Potter again – arrogant and full of self-importance, always hexing others once they annoyed him … and Lily wasn’t just going to stand there and let him – 

But Potter simply tapped the girl’s cloak lightly, muttering a Shortening Charm. Immediately the girl’s absurdly long cloak reduced several inches, such that it was the perfect length for her. 

‘There,’ said Potter kindly. ‘You won’t be tripping over that any more, I hope.’ 

Relief, accompanied by a wide smile, spread over the girl’s face. She had undoubtedly, like Lily, been expecting the worst. After joyfully thanking Potter, she dashed off across the courtyard. 

Lily was speechless. Potter glanced briefly at her surprised expression and said quietly, ‘You thought I was going to hex her, didn’t you.’ 

‘No! I mean yes … I mean …’ Lily was embarrassed to find her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. 

Potter laughed mirthlessly. ‘You still don’t think I’ve changed, do you.’ 

A twinge of guilt pricked at her. He was right, in a way. He _had_ changed, and she’d noticed the little things he did now. Such as breaking up a fight between younger students. Or not picking a fight with Snape. But it was hard not to revert to her former opinions of him … And he didn’t really expect her to just change her perceptions overnight, did he? 

‘Old habits die hard, Potter,’ she said defensively. 

‘Hard, but not impossible.’ With this cryptic come-back, Potter reached out to open the castle door for her. Gratified by his small but gentlemanly action, Lily couldn’t help but smile. 

‘Thank you.’ 

Potter nodded, and held the door a little while longer as two sixth-year Gryffindors came rushing in breathlessly. 

‘Hi, James!’ said one of them brightly, as Potter let the door shut against the raging blizzard outside. ‘Cold out, isn’t it?’ 

‘Certainly,’ said Potter amiably. The girl beamed as though he had just offered her a precious compliment. 

‘It sounds almost alive,’ commented the other girl, jerking her head towards the closed door. Lily agreed whole-heartedly with her – maybe it was just her imagination, but there was a grievous, anguished quality to the wind. 

_The Muggles were screaming, louder and louder._

‘Sounds like someone’s being tortured out there,’ said the first girl carelessly. It was uncanny how a few throwaway words could have such a huge effect: Lily didn’t see Potter’s eyes flash angrily, didn’t hear the cross words he shot at the girls, didn’t watch them hurry away, eyes darting to the pocket which contained his wand. She heard nothing but the torturous howling of the wind. Only it wasn’t the wind. 

_Flames licking away at human flesh._

_People frantically trying to escape._

_People being burnt alive._

_Screams._

_Her eyes squeezed shut, hands tight over her ears._

_The hopeless, anguished wails of people in their death throes._

She didn’t feel her book slip from her fingers, or the bag that fell from her arms, which had suddenly gone rigid. Her eyes were stinging with tears: hot, angry tears that blurred her vision. 

Potter caught both book and bag deftly, and laid them gently aside. ‘Are you all right?’ 

Yes, she was. She didn’t need his help. She fought to control herself, but the strong, brave words would not come. Lily closed her eyes, desperately trying to force her tears back, and drew a shaky breath. 

‘Lily –’ Potter’s arm found her back awkwardly, and he drew her close. 

The part of her mind that was still her, Lily, was protesting loudly against his actions – it was too assuming, too invasive of him. But he felt so warm … and safe … Potter didn’t say anything, only held her tight as she cried, tears of fear, anxiety and anger falling fast. She suddenly felt like there were two Lilys within her: the old, sensible and strong one who was screaming away at her to get away from James Potter this instance, and this new, quaking being who was leaning against him, unable to quench the tears which leaked out of her eyes. And the normal Lily was losing her grip. She felt like a little girl again, a child crying in her mother’s arms. He held her until her sobs finally diminished, and for a moment, she almost thought she _was_ five years old, home with her parents, and Voldemort and the war were all a distant nightmare. 

And then she looked up, and saw hazel eyes staring back into her own green, and she was falling … sinking … drowning … 

He was much too close. She could feel his breath on her face. He was going to – 

Potter released her abruptly, tearing his gaze from hers. Lily felt slightly dizzy. 

_Of course you’re disconcerted; how bloody_ close _was he? What if he had …_ _taken advantage of the moment?_

But he hadn’t. And now, he was bending down to pick up her books. ‘Shall – shall I help you with them?’ he asked awkwardly. 

‘S’okay,’ mumbled Lily, taking them from him. She slung the bag over her shoulder and they continued walking. A few minutes of silence passed. Her mind was a whirl, a mix of anger, fear and a strange feeling she couldn’t describe in the pit of her stomach. Lily sneaked a sidelong glance at Potter, and suddenly wondered what he thought of it – the war. He was against You-Know-Who, she knew; the thought had crossed her mind that it might be a game for him, and others like him, who didn’t know what was at stake. 

And the thought of it scared her. 

‘Potter, are you scared?’ she found herself asking. 

‘Of course,’ said Potter, after a pause. ‘Everyone’s afraid sometimes. I – well, if you really want to know, I was, when I tried to ask you out.’ He smiled, slightly embarrassed. 

‘No – I mean – the _war_ …’ 

Potter didn’t answer right away. Lily thought he must think it a silly question. It had been stupid of her to ask him – he probably thought her idealistic, to hope for a war without a price … he probably wouldn’t ever understand the mind-numbing fear she felt for her family, or the twisted uncertainty pervading her when her thoughts turned to the war. 

‘So that’s what it was about,’ he said finally. ‘It must be awful for you – to be Muggle-born … when a pure-blood maniac like Voldemort’s around.’ 

‘It – it’s not that.’ 

Potter looked at her enquiringly, expecting her to explain. 

‘I mean, I worry about my family, but that’s not all. I – I don’t know what it is we’re fighting about, sometimes.’ 

‘Ash Christmas,’ he said softly, surprising her. That was what the _Prophet_ had called the tragedy last year – when the Aurors had burnt thirty-six Muggles alive along with the Death Eaters they were hunting. Lily hadn’t thought that James would have bothered much about it in the first place, let alone bring it up now. 

‘I saw it,’ said Lily quietly. ‘I – it – you really don’t want to know about it. I don’t suppose you’d understand.’ 

Potter looked at her shrewdly. When he answered, it was something Lily had never imagined. 

‘My mum was there.’ 

‘She –’ Lily suddenly recalled: James’s mother … Patricia Potter. The witch whom Lily had met at the scene of the tragedy. 

‘She’s an Auror – _was_ an Auror. She quit afterwards. She told me that she couldn’t forgive herself for it, and she didn’t expect me to. And it wasn’t worth it – watching those Muggles and even the Death Eaters die, she knew that the price was too high. We’re turning into them. That’s what she said. That’s why she quit. 

‘Before it – before, I wanted to be an Auror too. I wanted to fight him – because of all the shit he was causing. And then … I realised that maybe it was all wrong, the _way_ we were fighting back. 

‘Now … I’ve kind of made up my mind. I’m going to join the Aurors anyway. But I won’t do it like this. There’s got to be another way to fight. Someone’s got to start the change. Why not me?’ 

Lily stared at his face as he spoke: his eyes were flashing furiously, his mouth set in determination. There was a certain aura of strength and courage radiating from him that Lily couldn’t help but admire. Despite all that she might have found him, James Potter deserved to be in Gryffindor. No question about it. 

Maybe there really was more to him now than petty vengeances and immature pranks. 

They had arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Potter stopped suddenly, and made an indistinct noise as Lily opened her mouth to give the password. 

‘What?’ 

‘I – er …’ He blushed so deeply that he could have replaced his face with a tomato. ‘It’s probably not the best thing … I mean …’ 

‘What?’ she repeated, her hand unconsciously rising to her hip. 

‘There’s a – ah – well, there’s a Hogsmeade visit on Hallowe’en.’ Potter grinned sheepishly. He took a deep breath, and said lightly, ‘D’you want to go with me?’ 

His tone was careless; the casual innocence he injected into the question was faintly reminiscent of the myriad of previous occasions on which he had attempted to ask her out. 

Her instinctual response was to shake her head and walk away, but for the first time, she repressed it, and made herself look into his eyes. Scrutinising his face, she saw clearly the nervousness in his eyes, as they blinked with unusual frequency; the tautness of his throat, as though the muscles there were working hard to control his voice and tone. His nose twitched, almost imperceptibly. He wasn’t as confident as he sounded. 

_I was afraid, when I tried to ask you._ She remembered him saying it. A minute apprehension, compared to the weighty concerns in the world now, but that didn’t make it any less difficult for him. Was he struck by that same fear now – fear that she would turn down his suggestion, ridicule it and belittle him, as she had done countless occasions before? And would she, if she had thought to look carefully all those other times, have seen the same unease peeping at her from under his façade of self-certainty? 

James Potter had indeed changed – he was no longer the same, boisterous bighead that he had been a few years ago. And, Lily realised, it couldn’t have happened in a day. The change had been there, all along, all throughout the past year; some part of her must have seen it, noticed it, but she had never allowed it to make an impression on her mind. Yet, subtly, she had softened, and now, it had finally led to today. 

A turning point. 

She recalled his eyes when he had stared at her, earlier on. The intensity of his gaze. He had almost kissed her – yes, he could have, so easily – and it would have happened, had he not backed away. And he had done so – understanding washed over her – because he knew she would have been mortified if he had done it. 

All this while, she had thought that it was nothing but a joke. But maybe she was wrong. 

James Potter was serious about her. 

She had forgiven many people over the years. Petunia, whose refusal to accept that she belonged at Hogwarts hurt her everyday. Severus Snape, who called her a Mudblood. Why was her heart so hardened against James? 

He could hurt her, as he had when their friendship had crumbled in light of his new-found popularity during their third year. But had she hurt him back in the years that followed, by her constant disdain? 

She had turned him down, made a fool of him, scolded and yelled and screamed at him for years, yet he continued to ask her and wait for her to change her mind – which was more than she had ever bothered to do for him after the shattering of their friendship. 

And now, he was trying so hard. Maybe it wasn’t a trick. Maybe the boy that she’d always thought he could be was finally shining through. Maybe she could give him a chance. Lily felt a touch of resolve. Maybe … 

‘Potter – no, James,’ she corrected herself. He’d already taken the first step in calling her by her first name again. She could do the same. ‘Hogsmeade on Hallowe’en sounds good.’ 

The smile that lit up his face was beautiful to behold.

**_A/N: I’m sorry that this chapter was so long in coming. I know I said I’d try for a week-long interval, and I feel a bit bad to overstep that deadline! Thank you to my fabulous readers who have reviewed and asked for an update, I really appreciate it! I’m also very sorry to inform you that the next chapter might be a longer wait, because I’m about to leave home for six weeks, and I might not get reliable internet access during that period. In the mean time, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! ~ **shiiki**_** : I’m sorry that this chapter was so long in coming. I know I said I’d try for a week-long interval, and I feel a bit bad to overstep that deadline! Thank you to my fabulous readers who have reviewed and asked for an update, I really appreciate it! I’m also very sorry to inform you that the next chapter might be a longer wait, because I’m about to leave home for six weeks, and I might not get reliable internet access during that period. In the mean time, I hope you’ll enjoy this chapter! ~ 


	5. 05 New Dreams, Old Connections

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**_A/N: Well, this was horribly long in coming! I’m sorry for the delay, but I thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, especially those who said they’d be waiting. This chapter’s for you!_** : Well, this was horribly long in coming! I’m sorry for the delay, but I thank everyone who reviewed the last chapter, especially those who said they’d be waiting. This chapter’s for you!

**CHAPTER FIVE:** **New Dreams, Old Connections**

_October, 1976_

Lily knocked on the staff room door and waited for Professor Flitwick to emerge. He’d asked her to look for him after lessons; Lily wondered exactly what he wanted that he couldn’t just tell her after class. She didn’t need extra coaching (she had always been top in class for Charms, in fact), and Professor Flitwick wouldn’t ask her to be a tutor this year, with all her duties as Head Girl. Even if it _was_ so, he could have said during Charms, as he normally would. 

‘Ah, Miss Evans.’ Professor Flitwick opened the door and beamed up at her. ‘We’ll be just a moment.’ 

_We?_ wondered Lily. 

‘Everard, she’s here,’ she heard him calling to Professor Trimble. Even more mysterious. 

The two teachers appeared soon – tall solemn Professor Trimble next to tiny, cheerful Professor Flitwick. The unlikely pair they made gave Lily a brief moment of amusement. 

‘We’ll use the Defence classroom, shall we? It’s nearer,’ said Professor Trimble briskly, nodding to Lily in greeting. 

‘Of course,’ agreed Professor Flitwick. ‘Come along, Miss Evans.’ 

‘May I ask what this is about, Professor?’ asked Lily as she followed them. 

‘Don’t worry, Miss Evans,’ assured Professor Trimble in a grave voice. ‘This is about – well, you could call it a test of your abilities.’ He waved his wand to illuminate the Defence classroom as they entered, and motioned for her to take a seat. Uncertainly, she did so. 

Professor Trimble and Professor Flitwick shared a glance, as though unsure how to begin. Finally, Professor Trimble said, ‘You should recall the first lesson on the Patronus Charm last week, Miss Evans.’ 

‘Yes, sir.’ 

‘I noticed your adeptness in performing a Revealing Charm on _Expecto Patronum_ – it was quite remarkable indeed, and I took the liberty in discussing it with Professor Flitwick. It seems I was correct in assuming that the results you obtained with it are only producible by few wizards – and witches.’ 

‘To able to reveal a spell to the extent that its web is visible is an art which only those who have a natural talent can perform,’ Professor Flitwick informed her excitedly. 

‘You’re saying – I can do this – Revealing Charm…that only some people can?’ 

‘No, no – anyone can do a Revealing Charm. But one strong enough to reduce a spell – to uncover it – to the barest elements of its magic – it’s simply impossible to most people. And few as young as you can manage even a minimal level of success.’ 

Lily blinked, trying to absorb what the dwarfish teacher was expounding. 

‘And your Charms marks are excellent, Miss Evans,’ enthused Professor Flitwick. ‘I’d say you most definitely have an affinity for Charms.’ 

Lily suddenly recalled hearing the phrase before … an affinity for Charms … back when she was eleven, armed with the new knowledge that she was a witch, and buying her first wand … 

_‘Nice wand for Charm work. I wouldn’t wonder that you have an affinity for Charms, Miss Evans.’_

_‘What’s Charms?’_

_‘I daresay you’ll find out soon enough, young lady.’_

Without thinking, she took out her wand and studied it. Ten inches, willow and dragon heartstring; One of the first things she’d learnt about wands was that ‘the wand chooses the wizard.’ Or witch, in her case. She could still remember Mr Ollivander’s solemn face as he told her that, six years ago. Did her wand know that she had within her a natural ability for Charms? 

‘Do you think you could do it again, Miss Evans?’ Professor Trimble was asking her. Lily looked up from her wand and pondered this. 

‘I could try.’ 

‘Please do.’ 

‘A simple spell, perhaps,’ suggested Professor Flitwick. ‘ _Wingardium Leviosa_ would do.’ 

Lily nodded. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled, ‘ _Aparecium Wingardium Leviosa!_ ’ 

And as it had done two times before, pale light issued from the tip of her wand and started to twist and turn. 

‘Impressive,’ breathed Professor Trimble. Professor Flitwick looked as though he might like to squeal with joy. 

Pleased and feeling, strangely, slightly tired, Lily lowered her wand. The spell web disintegrated as she did so. 

‘Miss Evans – it has been nearly forty years since a student at this school has been able to have any sort of success with this charm. Other wizards and witches whom I know to be able to perform it only developed the ability after further training after Hogwarts. I should like to – with the Headmaster’s permission – work further with you on this.’ 

‘Professor Flitwick is exceedingly accomplished when it comes to Charms,’ noted Professor Trimble. Lily didn’t doubt it; she was sure that Professor Flitwick possessed her ability to reveal spell webs as well. 

‘I know that Career Guidance Consultations are done in fifth-year; I’m not sure if you’ve considered this, however, but I think if you haven’t, perhaps you should – you would fare well in Experimental Charms, Miss Evans,’ suggested Professor Trimble. 

‘I – I’ll think about it,’ said Lily, overwhelmed by what they were proposing to her – honing her skills now, a possible career in Experimental Charms when she left Hogwarts … 

‘It needn’t all be settled now,’ said Professor Trimble gently. ‘Anyhow, I had better leave the rest to Professor Flitwick. I’ll take my leave now; Miss Evans, Filius.’ He nodded to them both. 

‘Thank you, Everard,’ said Professor Flitwick. ‘Well, Miss Evans? If you’re willing, I could arrange a date.’ 

‘I think I’d like to try,’ said Lily. ‘Excellent!’ Professor Flitwick clapped his hands together. ‘Shall we start next month, perhaps? The first – ah – would Thursday evening be fine? First Thursday of November?’ 

‘I’m sorry, Professor – I have meetings on Thursday.’ 

‘Oh, I forgot – Head Girl business? And Monday is Prefect Meeting day, isn’t it? How about Tuesday evenings then?’ 

‘Tuesday evenings are fine.’ 

‘Excellent,’ repeated Professor Flitwick. ‘I had better let you run on to dinner now. We’ll discuss this again then!’ 

‘All right – thank you, Professor.’ 

Professor Flitwick flashed her a wide smile as he left the classroom. Lily stared at the blackboard for a few seconds, then got up. 

_‘Nox_ ,’ she said, and the lights went out. 

_Working with charms_ , she thought as she walked down to the Great Hall. 

The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. 

~ * ~ 

Hallowe’en was met with much jubilation by the students of Hogwarts, especially those in third year and beyond. They flocked out the oaken front doors, pass the caretaker Argus Filch who was sourly inspecting his list of students permitted to visit Hogsmeade and regarding each student with beady eyes. 

James mock-saluted Filch, who scowled back. Lily wondered where his ever-present cat was. 

‘Where d’you think Mrs Norris is?’ 

‘Hiding, most likely,’ smirked James. ‘She’s in a – ah – _delicate_ condition now.’ 

‘All right, what did you do, Potter?’ Lily put her hands on her hips, pretending to look at him sternly. 

‘Nothing!’ James smiled innocently at her. Lily snorted. 

‘I know better than to believe that look.’ 

‘Well, it’s true, this time,’ said James, laughing. ‘I didn’t do anything. But I heard from a reliable source that a certain troublemaker dropped her in a bucket of Zonko’s Everlasting Blue Dye.’ He winked at her and Lily couldn’t help but laugh too. 

‘If you’re talking about Sirius Black, I think you’ll find that Filch will have a detention waiting for him if he finds out.’ 

‘Ah, but you’re forgetting one thing. Marauders _don’t_ get found out.’ 

Lily raised an eyebrow. 

‘Well, almost never. You know, there was once … back in fourth year or so, we wanted to steal food from the kitchens for a midnight feast, so we snuck down there. Then when we took off the Cloak–’ 

‘What cloak?’ 

‘Oh … I’ve – well – I’ve kind of got an Invisibility Cloak …’ 

‘An Invisibility Cloak? Aren’t those like really rare? They’re made from Diricawl hide, aren’t they?’ 

‘Yes to all of those. It’s a family heirloom. Anyway … did you know house-elves are scared of ghosts? Or spirits. And Peter somehow got stuck in the Cloak and started flailing about trying to get it off and howling because he stubbed his toe. Well, the house-elves were terrified! They were squealing and hiding under the tables … and then Peter managed to shake the Cloak off. _Then_ they were really mad.’ 

‘I should think so,’ chuckled Lily, picturing Peter playing the role of a tortured spirit. 

‘Well, the kitchen entrance opened then, and Dumbledore came in. Luckily for us he found the whole situation really amusing. And he had us join him for a midnight snack. But the house-elves never did quite forgive Peter. We couldn’t ever send him down there to get food again – had to do all the work ourselves.’ 

Lily shook her head in amusement. ‘The four of you really had a knack for getting into scrapes. Seriously, you must’ve had more detentions than the entire school put together!’ 

‘You know … I think you’re right.’ 

She laughed again. If anyone had told her a year ago that she’d be walking to Hogsmeade with James Potter and _laughing_ at his little anecdotes of Marauder life … she’d have thought them mad. And now … she found that she was rather enjoying herself. James grinned at her, a pleased expression in his hazel eyes. 

‘I suppose you’re thirsty?’ he asked as they strolled down the snowy pavement. ‘I wouldn’t say no to a drink myself.’ 

‘Sure,’ shrugged Lily. ‘Lead on.’ 

James took a side turning that Lily only vaguely knew; she’d explored Hogsmeade thoroughly with the other girls their first trip, but she’d never been back down this alley since. She tried to remember where it led. 

They arrived at a small teashop decorated with frilly pink lace and heart patterns. As she followed James in, she wondered why he’d come here, of all places. And how he even knew a place like this existed. 

‘May I help you?’ They were greeted by a plump young witch with short black hair. 

‘Er – hot chocolate please,’ said James, with a sidewise glance at Lily. She nodded in affirmation. ‘Make that two hot chocolates.’ 

They took a seat by a steamy window. Lily looked around, feeling most awkward. They were surrounded by couples, some of whom were kissing, or holding hands, or looking at each other sentimentally. A glance at James revealed that he looked just as uncomfortable as she felt. 

A few moments passed in silence. Their hot chocolate arrived, and Lily sipped it slowly, wondering if James had intended for them to just sit in silence. Probably not. 

‘You – you don’t seem to have been here before,’ noted James, after a long pause. He sounded puzzled. 

‘I haven’t. It’s – a new experience.’ 

‘Oh. I – er – you don’t seem to like it.’ Was it just her eyes, or were his cheeks going pink? ‘I thought all girls liked this sort of thing.’ The words came out in a rush. 

‘I suppose some do,’ said Lily diplomatically, trying not to laugh at his flustered expression. 

‘I reckon I was wrong,’ mumbled James into his hot chocolate. ‘But I really wanted things to be – nice – you know?’ 

‘It was a nice thought, James. But this place isn’t for us at all. I mean – look at them.’ Lily waved her hands at the kissing couples scattered around. ‘We aren’t – well – we – I don’t know about us, James.’ She bit her lip, not sure how to continue. ‘We were close friends once, James. I think – I think we need to start learning how to be better friends again. I – I’d like to try that, you know. Not – not anything else.’ For some reason, she was blushing as the thought of possibly being more than friends crossed her mind. 

James blinked. 

‘We _were_ friends – I messed that up, didn’t I? But you’re giving me a second chance. You’re wonderful, Lily, did you know that? And you’re … different.’ He drained his mug. ‘I shouldn’t have brought you here.’ 

‘Why don’t we leave? I gather you don’t like it here any more than I do?’ 

James grinned wryly. ‘How d’you guess? Come on – I’ll pay for the hot chocolate.’ 

‘Oh no … that’s not necessary, really. No, James, I can afford my own drinks.’ Although five sickles for a cup was awfully expensive. And Lily wasn’t exactly very well-off. But she firmly pressed the money into James’s palm. 

‘Thank you and Madam Puddifoot hopes to see you again,’ chirped the plump witch as they left. 

‘Black – Sirius - doesn’t have a crush on her, does he?’ said Lily suspiciously. James stared at her incredulously. 

‘Sirius? Where did you get that idea?’ 

‘You boys always call him Padfoot … and _she’s_ Madam Puddifoot … what, isn’t there a connection?’ 

James burst out laughing. ‘We never thought of that! Lily, you’re amazing! That’s new material to tease him with … it’s brilliant!’ 

It was more amazing, thought Lily, how their tongues seemed untied the moment they stepped out of the stifling teashop. 

‘So, Lily,’ said James, when he’d caught his breath. ‘Would the Three Broomsticks be more to your liking? You wouldn’t mind if I bought you a Butterbeer, would you?’ 

‘I think that would be fine,’ said Lily. ‘But you don’t have to get me anything –’ 

‘I insist. To drink to the renewal of our friendship?’ 

Her lips quirked upwards. He really was very funny. And like she’d said, they would have to learn to be friends again. 

‘All right, James.’ 

A Butterbeer and countless exchanges of tales later, Lily found she was enjoying herself more than she’d imagined she would. James had been nothing but the perfect companion; she’d laughed herself silly as he related his escapades with the Marauders; he’d listened patiently as she told him more about herself; they’d had a good laugh over their mutual experiences during the school term. 

Learning to be James’s friend again might not be such a hard lesson after all. 


	6. 06 Different Faces of Courage

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER SIX:** **Different Faces of Courage**

_November, 1976_

November was a chilly month. Though there hadn’t been any further snowfall since the freak blizzard the previous month, the cold stayed in the air and kept most of the school within the castle, huddled before blazing fires in their respective common rooms. 

The Gryffindor Quidditch team, however, wasn’t put off by a little cold weather. Training was training. And with a big match looming at the end of the week, the chill wasn’t about to interfere with a last session. 

It was all going well, thought James. He and the other Chasers were working as a flawless team; the Beaters were doing a great job with the Bludgers, their Keeper had barely let in a single Quaffle during the practice, and their Seeker was performing well. He called an end to training at seven, confident in their ability to play a good game at Saturday’s match. 

They’d be going against Slytherin, he mused. _Always the most key-ed up event of the season_. _Especially now._

There’d been another concerted attack by Voldemort and his Death Eaters. In _London_. A powerful Reductor Curse set off in midday, decimating an entire street in Muggle London. And more importantly to the wizarding community, the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic. 

Thankfully, the lower layers of the Ministry had stood firm against the assault, and security was now being stepped up. But the number of casualties couldn’t be denied. 

James didn’t know how many students had lost loved ones in the incident. His own father was in St Mungo’s, lucky to be alive. 

Hogwarts was afraid. It was palpable, the undercurrent of fear and suspicion that ran through the school; even among the students, there was an unhealthy amount of distrust, especially between houses. 

And right in the middle, trying to hold everybody together, was Lily. 

James’s lips twitched upwards as they always did at the thought of Lily. 

She was wonderful – fair and kind and earnest and vivacious. Lily, who believed in trust and compassion and showed it. When everything else was bleak like the world outside, she was his star, his inspiration. 

For her, he could tackle his Head Boy duties and try to earn a respect which he didn’t think he deserved. 

She was warming to him, he knew. It was gratifying to see her a little less stressed, a little less busy as he learned to do more and more of his share of the work. Although the paperwork _was_ very boring. And he was never very sure of himself when he did the normal prefect stuff – heaven knew he flouted rules left and right, who was he to punish others for doing the same? 

But he was trying. 

For her, he could. 

~ * ~ 

The sun chose to shine brightly, after hiding its face behind mounds of dull-looking clouds the past month, on the day of the first Hogwarts Quidditch match of the season – the Gryffindor/Slytherin game. The popularity of Quidditch was so great that had it been freezing, the school would have turned up to watch anyway. As it was, the students flocked out to the Quidditch stands, grateful for the wintry sunshine offering its little bit of warmth. 

The conditions out on the pitch were perfect, aside from the brightness of the sun, which might present a slight difficulty to their Seeker. There wasn’t much breeze; no worries about being blown off course or having to factor in vectors when aiming for the goals. 

James went back to the changing room, his stomach starting to feel unsettled as the first signs of nervousness kicked in. His team, all ready in their scarlet Quidditch robes, waiting expectantly for him. They were all showing their pre-match jitters: Sirius pacing the length of the room with Carl Pritchard as though they were going to wear a path in the ground; his fellow Chasers, Charlotte Churchill and Atticus Spinnet – twisting her braid around her finger and biting his nails respectively. Max Carson, their Keeper, looked perfectly calm, but James knew him well enough to see through his unruffled front. Flora Somerled, the new second-year Seeker, was actually shivering. James pulled himself together, gave her an encouraging smile, and launched into his pre-match speech. 

He was pleased to note that despite all signs of nerves in the changing room, his team followed him out onto the pitch holding themselves upright and with confidence. The Slytherin team, captained by their Beater Theseus Baddock, leered at them. James met Baddock’s gaze steadily. 

‘A nice fair game, now,’ said Madam Hooch warningly. ‘Shake hands.’ 

They did so. 

‘Mount your brooms, now.’ And with the whistle, they took off, fifteen brooms shooting into the air. 

James took immediate possession of the Quaffle, and flew off haphazardly. It was his opening move; start and fly as erratically as possible to ward off attacks. He was particularly good at it, having been a Seeker in his second-year. It wasn’t long before he had put a goal past the Slytherin Keeper, the first of the match. 

‘Ten-nil to Gryffindor!’ announced the commentator. The gold and scarlet wave of students cheered. 

‘Nice one!’ Atticus gave him a hi-five as he flew by. 

‘Thanks. Keep on with it!’ 

Slytherin was infuriated that Gryffindor had got such an early start. Baddock yelled instructions to his fellow Beater to mark James – not a problem with him; he’d anticipated this. He easily avoided the Bludgers they pelted at him, while Charlotte and Atticus took advantage of the lack of attention … 

‘Twenty-nil to Gryffindor!’ 

‘Yes!’ Charlotte punched the air, grinning widely. The next moment a Bludger skimmed past the top of her head. Sirius sent it back at Baddock furiously. 

Slytherin had the Quaffle now; they were flying towards the Gryffindor goalposts. Max watched them with a look of fierce determination. The Quaffle flew at the right-hand goal; Max shot at it, taking both hands off his broom … 

‘And an excellent save by the Gryffindor Keeper!’ 

Max grinned as he tossed the Quaffle to James, who began his haphazard flight to the Slytherin goalposts. Swoop; dodge a Slytherin Chaser; pass to Atticus; catch from Charlotte; swerve past a Bludger; he was there, and it was no problem to curve the Quaffle round the Slytherin Keeper. 

‘Thirty-nil!’ 

The rising score wasn’t improving Slytherins’ mood. James knew what was coming – when Slytherin got angry enough, they generally resorted to cheating. 

Charlotte was the first to get it; Baddock elbowed her hard in the ribs, causing her to spin off course. Penalty to Gryffindor. James put it away easily. Forty-nil. 

The game continued. Slytherin scored, making it forty-ten. Atticus scored his first goal; fifty-ten. The Snitch was spotted, and Flora dove, along with the Slytherin Seeker. James, though he would have loved to watch the chase, made himself focus on the Quaffle. He’d long since learnt it was the best opportunity to score, when everyone else was watching the breath-taking dive for the Snitch. Sure enough, he made it sixty-ten. The Slytherin Keeper was gawking at the Seekers and turned too late. 

‘Are you daft?’ Baddock yelled. ‘Keep your eyes on the Quaffle!’ His Keeper reddened. 

The Snitch had disappeared; Madam Hooch was signalling a penalty to Gryffindor, as the Slytherin Seeker had apparently fouled Flora. Atticus flew up to take it. Seventy-ten. 

The Slytherin team were getting rougher now. Baddock and the other Slytherin Beater were batting at Bludgers with all their might. But Sirius and Carl were well up to countering them. Before long, the score was a hundred to ten, and from the look on the Slytherin team’s face, they weren’t at all pleased. 

‘Seven more goals and it’s pure defence,’ James told his team encouragingly. 

Max was playing at his best; his keen anticipation of the Slytherin Chasers’ intentions saved them three more goals. Unfortunately the Slytherin Keeper was working harder too. Atticus tried and failed; Charlotte missed; James knew he would have to resort to diversionary tactics when his turn came. Hovering high above the hoop, he took careful aim … the Keeper flew up to defend … quick as a flash, he dove and looped below the Keeper, tossing the Quaffle through. The Gryffindor crowd screamed their approval. 

The Seekers were at it again. Flora was well in the lead, with the Slytherin Seeker desperately tailing behind. Sirius blocked a Bludger coming towards her, she stretched out her hand, and … _wham_! 

Flora spun off-course, looking slightly disoriented after crashing into one of the Slytherin Chasers. 

‘Foul!’ cried the Gryffindor supporters in the stand, not needing Madam Hooch’s indignant whistle. Charlotte took the penalty. The Quaffle blew past the Keeper’s fingertips. A hundred and twenty to ten. 

And the third sighting of the Snitch! Flora, despite the hard knock she’d taken, was nose to nose with the Slytherin Seeker, diving for the shiny, fluttering ball on the grass near the middle of the pitch. 

Baddock and the other Slytherin Beater were racing towards her, clubs raised. They were going to take her out, James realised. Without a second thought, he sped towards them, ready to block their blows. He swerved between their brooms, not making any contact, but causing enough disturbance to annoy them. Enraged, the clubs came down violently on his head. 

He heard the crowd gasp, dimly noted Flora holding up her closed fist, before the world around him started to fade. 

~ * ~ 

It happened way too fast – one moment she was watching the two Seekers racing for the Snitch, the Slytherin Beaters chasing after them, and then James zipping through their midst. 

The thud the Beaters’ clubs made as they connected with James’s skull was so loud, she could here the dull sound reverberate around the stadium. There was a shocked gasp; Dorcas Meadowes was on her feet, her fist in the air, shouting at the top of her voice; Remus’s face was deathly pale; Sirius was speeding towards his best friend. 

Lily watched, frozen to her seat, as Sirius caught James as he slipped, unconscious, off his broom, and struggled to hold him up. He was joined by Madam Hooch and the other Gryffindor team members. Slowly, they flew him down to the pitch, on to which the teachers were already rushing. In the middle stood the Seekers, Flora Somerled holding up the Snitch, first in triumph, then in horror as she saw James. 

The next thing Lily knew, she was sprinting through the crowd with Remus and Peter, with only one thought in their heads: James. 

It was utter pandemonium on the ground. Madam Hooch, having helped deliver James safely to medical help, was yelling at the Slytherin Beaters, backed up by Professor McGonagall. Madam Pomfrey arrived on the scene, and ordered the crowd to back off. The rest of the Gryffindor team huddled anxiously around, except for Sirius, who despite Madam Pomfrey’s orders, refused to leave James. 

‘He needs medical attention!’ cried Madam Pomfrey. ‘Make room now! Get out of the way, Black!’ 

‘I’m staying with him,’ insisted Sirius. ‘James, come on, mate, get up!’ 

Someone conjured up a stretcher, and James was levitated up on it. Lily and Remus rushed forward, next to Sirius, to Madam Pomfrey’s exasperation. 

‘Will no one listen to me?’ fumed Madam Pomfrey. ‘Back off, he needs to go to the hospital wing _now_!’ And she bore the unconscious James away on the stretcher. 

Half an hour later, Madam Pomfrey finally let them into the Infirmary grudgingly. Lily stood by the door, not quite sure why she was this concerned, as the Gryffindor team and the Marauders – James and Sirius’s little gang – gathered by his bedside. 

‘We steamrollered them,’ said an exuberant Max. ‘Two hundred and eighty to ten. That’s one match they’re going to be talking about for ages!’ 

‘How’s your head now, James?’ asked Charlotte. ‘I can’t believe they’d do that. Those slimy bastards.’ 

‘Language, Char,’ snickered Atticus. Charlotte blushed. 

James grinned weakly at them. Lily wondered if anyone else could see him wince slightly. James probably would never admit to being in pain. ‘I’m fine, really,’ he claimed. 

‘Yeah, didn’t hurt anything he uses,’ joked Sirius. James cuffed him playfully on the sleeve. 

Flora Somerled moved forward and pressed the Snitch into James’s hand. 

‘ _Thanks_ ,’ she said with emphasis. Lily realised with a jerk that the target hadn’t been James at all; he’d only kept them off the slight, more fragile girl. She shuddered to think of the damage two thick clubs might have done little Flora. 

What a risk James had taken, though. If they had cracked his head open … 

_That_ was courage, wasn’t it? He must have known the consequences … and he’d flown right in to stop Baddock and the other Beater from attacking Flora. 

And she was vividly reminded of a younger boy charging into a compartment full of older students, in righteous indignation over an insult dealt by those bigoted students to a fellow schoolmate. 

She blinked, shaking herself out of the reverie, and met a pair of hazel eyes searching across the room. James’s gaze locked on hers, and his face broke into a wide grin. 

An inexplicable feeling of warmth diffused through her, along with a small flutter in her abdomen. Although she couldn’t quite understand why, Lily couldn’t help smiling back at James. 


	7. 07 Changes

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER SEVEN:** **Changes**

  _December, 1976_

_Concentrate_ , thought Lily, as she focused with all her might on the Shield Charm Professor Flitwick was wielding before her. She _knew_ it was a Shield Charm, but she had to make it reveal itself; uncover the magic that could take on a visible pattern if only she could concentrate hard enough … 

‘Bravo, Miss Evans!’ 

Lily’s eyes flew open, and she watched in delight as the Shield Charm materialised before her, showing itself as a silvery, translucent wall, through which Professor Flitwick’s face was beaming hazily at her. The shimmering barrier held for a full half a minute, then disappeared as Lily lowered her wand, tired. 

Professor Flitwick dropped the charm and stepped forward through where the wall had been. 

‘I think you’ve finally mastered this, Miss Evans,’ he said happily. ‘In a mere space of a month, too, which is no mean feat. I’m impressed.’ 

‘Thank you, Professor.’ 

‘I think we’ll end here today. After the Christmas break, we’ll start working on holding a spell in its materialistic form for longer periods of time. Have you any questions, Miss Evans?’ 

‘Could I stay here a while?’ asked Lily. ‘I’d like to practice a bit on revealing spells from their incantations before I return to the common room.’ 

‘Certainly,’ agreed Professor Flitwick. ‘I’ll leave you to it, then. Good night, Miss Evans.’ 

‘Good night, Professor.’ 

Professor Flitwick let the door close behind him with a soft click. Lily stood very still for a minute, her eyes closed, the image of the perfect visual projection of a spell floating before her. She felt as though her energy was spent, but the excitement of her success bubbled within her and sustained her. She wanted to try it again, prove her talent and ability to herself once more. 

Lily opened her eyes and held out her wand before her. _A spell … a non-visual spell_ , she thought. It would give her more satisfaction to put shape to a spell that had no visible form. Her mind ran over the myriad of charms she knew, and finally settled on _Evanesco_. The Vanishing Spell made things disappear; what kind of form would it take? 

‘ _Revelio Evanesco_!’ 

The lights in the room seemed to waver for a moment, and then bursts of red light emerged from the end of her wand. They sparkled, then glowed black and dived towards a centre, and seemed to implode. Lily watched, fascinated, as the lights mapped out a path. The magic was creating its own little black hole, collapsing upon itself. So this was the Vanishing Spell. This was what was happening every time someone pointed their wand, flicked and muttered ‘ _Evanesco_ ’. 

It was amazing. _Magic_ was amazing. 

‘That’s amazing.’ 

Lily almost dropped her wand. The red and black disappeared immediately as she was startled out of concentration by the sound of the new voice. 

James stood by the open door, watching her in awe. Lily felt her face go red. 

‘Er – I was just … practicing. Charms.’ 

‘Was that what you were doing in Defence the first day we did Dementors?’ 

‘Um – yeah.’ Lily was surprised that he’d remembered. That lesson had been nearly three months ago. 

‘Wow,’ he said slowly. ‘It’s amazing,’ he repeated. There was a long silence, in which Lily felt warmer than ever, though she couldn’t fathom why. It was just a compliment. One which she felt was thoroughly deserved, too, although it seemed bigheaded to believe so. 

‘Can I try?’ said James finally, and Lily almost snorted. The nerve of him, thinking he could do this. Then she berated herself for being so egoistic. 

He then asked, ‘What do I do?’ It occurred to Lily that James didn’t really know exactly what she had been trying. 

‘It’s a spell web,’ she explained. ‘Like a visual aid to the spell. It shows all the paths the magic takes, and how magic manipulates elements – even intangible elements – to create the effects that it does. You need to do a Revealing Charm on a spell.’ 

‘Oh. Which Revealing Charm?’ 

‘Any one will do, really. Do you want me to do a spell for you to try?’ 

‘Er – it’s all right, I’ll just try on my own. Let me see … _Apparecium Nox_!’ 

The room went black. Although she knew James couldn’t see it, Lily’s eyes narrowed in the darkness. He had better not be setting up the scene to try anything on her. Just because she’d been warming up to him lately and getting to be quite friendly didn’t mean she was going to let him get close or make any moves. 

But there was no groping in the darkness, or unwelcome advances, just James’s voice calling out ‘ _Lumos_!’ and his sheepish face reappearing as the room brightened once more. 

‘I don’t think I did that quite right,’ said James. ‘I thought _Nox_ was the simplest spell so I’d have more success with it.’ 

Lily searched his face suspiciously. He seemed to be in earnest. She decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

‘Maybe you did get it,’ she said encouragingly. ‘I mean, _Nox_ is really just blackness isn’t it?’ 

‘You try it,’ he said. ‘All right. _Apparecium Nox_!’ 

This time, her wand started to tremble as light began to be sucked in towards it like tiny particles. The room went black, but in a different manner. Light was slowly absenting itself, rather than dark spreading. 

‘ _Lumos_!’ said James again. ‘That’s quite something.’ 

‘Yeah,’ agreed Lily. A hint of pride that she could do something that James Potter, the brightest student in the year barring Sirius Black, could not manage blossomed in her chest. 

‘You’re really talented.’ 

‘I – well, thanks.’ It crossed her mind that she could downplay this ability, shrug it off modestly, but she didn’t quite feel like it. And it didn’t feel at all like arrogance to accept James’s extravagant praise. 

‘You look tired, though,’ he commented. 

‘It – took quite a bit of energy to conjure all that up,’ admitted Lily. ‘I’m still not really good at it.’ 

James nodded in understanding. ‘Well, if you’re done practicing … I’ll walk you back to the common room?’ He watched her hopefully. 

To her surprise, her spirits lifted at the offer. Maybe she was more tired than she thought; her own emotions didn’t seem to make sense. But she nodded and let James put out the lights and lead her out the classroom. 

~ * ~ 

‘Cheers!’ Four glasses made a loud _clink_ against each other. James downed his glass in one gulp. The alcohol was bitter but burned satisfactorily in his throat. 

‘Sirius!’ Remus put his glass down after a sip and looked at Sirius in distaste. ‘You didn’t –’ 

Peter spluttered and grimaced. James thumped him soundly on the back. 

‘Head Boy agreed,’ said Sirius defiantly. ‘It’s not like we haven’t done it before, anyway.’ 

‘It’s Christmas, Moony,’ said James. ‘Forget the Head Boy and prefect stuff, all right?’ 

‘To Christmas!’ Sirius raised his empty glass cheerfully. ‘Another round?’ 

‘You know Peter can’t take his alcohol.’ 

‘I can!’ Peter indignantly took a deep swig of his Firewhisky to prove Remus otherwise. To his credit, this time he kept it down without gagging. 

‘Don’t start with the responsibility talk, Remus,’ warned Sirius. ‘I’m going to get us another glass each.’ 

‘We should have gone to the Three Broomsticks,’ moaned Remus. 

‘Where’s the fun in that? Rosmerta won’t sell anything but Butterbeer to students.’ 

‘Drinking isn’t irresponsible,’ decided James. ‘Getting drunk would be, but a couple of glasses to drink to Christmas aren’t going to hurt anyone. Anyway, there aren’t any students in the Hog’s Head for us to set a bad example for. Besides, we’re of age, aren’t we?’ 

Remus acquiesced reluctantly, and accepted the second glass of Firewhisky that Sirius brought round. 

‘Two glasses, that’s all,’ James found himself saying. Sirius sighed but agreed. 

‘Remember that time last year? That was a riot – you were totally pissed.’ 

‘I’ll thank you not to remind me of that!’ 

‘And in fifth year, when Evans caught us –’ ‘Caught _you_ and James, you mean,’ said Remus tartly. 

‘That was because you and Peter hogged the Cloak,’ retorted James, remembering the incident well. It had been just after O.W.L.s, and they’d snuck out to celebrate. However, when they had returned, they’d made so much noise and boldly strutted around outside the Cloak and run right into Lily. She’d scolded so, it’d been a wonder the entire school hadn’t all woken up. 

‘Anyway,’ James said, ‘that’s not happening again, because we aren’t drinking more than two.’ 

Peter interrupted with a loud burp. 

‘Shoo.’ He hiccupped and giggled. James stared at him. 

‘Peter can’t take his alcohol,’ repeated Remus helpfully. 

‘Two glasses,’ said Sirius derisively. ‘ _Two_! He can’t take _two_?’ 

James shook his head sadly. ‘I think we ought to get him back to the castle.’ 

‘There goes our fun.’ 

‘We’re responsible for him, Sirius.’ 

Sirius glared at him. ‘Since when did you side with Professor Lupin?’ 

‘Sirius, would you stop calling me Professor Lupin?’ 

‘Professor – _hic_ – I donch snow fee answer,’ slurred Peter. 

‘All right, Peter. We’re going back. Sirius, where’s the map? I didn’t bring the Cloak, but we can use one of the passages.’ 

‘Not the Honeydukes one, it’ll be packed in there,’ pointed out Remus. 

‘How about the one behind Zonko’s?’ suggested James. 

‘There’ll be lots of people in Zonko’s –’ 

‘Exactly, _in_ Zonko’s, they won’t really notice us sneaking behind.’ 

‘Good point. OK, let’s go, then.’ 

James and Remus hauled Peter to his feet and together, they dragged him out of the Hog’s Head. Sirius sighed but followed behind them, Marauder’s Map in hand. 

~ * ~ 

Lily pulled her cloak tighter around her as she stepped out of Gladrags, mentally ticking off the last item on her shopping list. The scarf in the package she carried wasn’t particularly fancy, but it was a pretty blue that would match her sister’s hair nicely, and it wasn’t exactly a magical item. Petunia was more partial to what she called ‘normal’ clothing. 

With her Christmas shopping done (she’d bought Chocolate Frogs at Honeydukes for her parents, who were fascinated by the moving pictures in the cards), Lily wondered if she should just return to the castle. She had fifteen Sickles left in her pocket, which was meant to last her the rest of the term, unless she was to ask for more money from her parents when she was home for Christmas. And she certainly didn’t intend to. Her family worked hard enough to make ends meet without adding her school needs into the equation. 

Still, chilly as it was, Lily was tempted to spend her remaining money on a nice warm Butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks. Suddenly, she thought of James. He’d probably buy her a drink if she ran into him. But Lily had no intention on imposing on him that way. 

_Even if I’m freezing. I can take care of myself._

Zonko’s Joke Shop was next to Gladrags. Lily paused a moment to allow a gaggle of students to emerge, laughing and chatting. She watched them wistfully, her mind drifting to a time when she’d come to Hogsmeade with her own best friend – Aura Banning had been murdered two years ago, but Lily still missed her. 

She focused her attention on a group of four boys crossing the street. Two of them seemed to be supporting a third, with the last loping along beside them. Two tall dark-haired boys, a thin fair-haired one, and the one in the middle, clinging to his peers, was short and podgy. Lily’s eyes narrowed in recognition. 

‘James Potter!’ 

‘Lily!’ Sirius Black grabbed her hand suddenly and pulled her aside. ‘What a delight!’ 

Lily yanked her hand out of his and glared at him. 

‘Don’t be fierce, Evans. Come now, you look cold. Surely you wouldn’t say no to a Butterbeer? My treat.’ Sirius winked at her enticingly. Lily rolled her eyes. He didn’t really expect her to fall for that, did he? 

‘What’s going on? Something’s going on. Remus, James –’ She turned to look for them, but they and Peter had slipped away. 

‘Nothing’s going on, Evans, you’re always so suspicious.’ Sirius’s tone was perfectly innocent, but years of experience had taught her never to trust Sirius however innocent he sounded. She ignored him, and scanned the surroundings intently until she caught a glimpse of three boys moving through the alley between Zonko’s and Gladrags. 

‘Potter!’ Sirius caught her wrist again but she wrenched her arm away and marched after his friends. 

‘What is going on here?’ she demanded once she’d caught up with James, Remus and Peter. James and Remus exchanged looks. Peter burped and she nearly choked; the stench was overpowering. 

‘He’s drunk,’ she realised, recoiling. 

‘Wonderful powers of deduction, Evans,’ said Sirius wryly, popping up behind her. 

‘We’re just getting him back to the castle, Lily,’ explained James, avoiding her eyes. ‘We’ll take care of it.’ 

Lily just stared at them: at Peter, whose eyes were glazed over; at Remus, who looked guilty; at Sirius, who as usual was acting like he hadn’t a care in the world; and at James, who still couldn’t seem to meet her eyes. 

‘Don’t get mad,’ he said earnestly. ‘We’ll just bring him back to the dorm and we won’t come out again.’ 

If they were heading for the castle, then why were they sneaking behind Zonko’s? A year ago, Lily would have pointed out the contradiction immediately; she would have screamed and put them in detention and gone to Professor McGonagall, but now she found herself believing James’s words … and more surprisingly, offering to be part of their ploy. 

‘I’ll help.’ 

Her words were met with two open-mouthed stares and a spreading grin over James’s face. He lifted his eyes in amazed relief and gratitude. 

‘OK – come on, then.’ 

Curiously, Lily followed the boys into the thick bush behind the shop houses. They came to a stop before two large trees which seemed to be interwoven. Sirius reached between them and pried a branch away. Lily’s mouth dropped. Hidden away behind the trees was an opening, like a cave. 

‘Secret passage,’ explained James, grunting as he pushed a stoned Peter into the cave. ‘Back to Hogwarts.’ 

Lily had imagined, before she’d ever arrived at Hogwarts, all sorts of brilliant adventures like she’d read in storybooks pre-Hogwarts – of discovering magic tunnels and exploring. When Hogwarts had turned out to be nothing like what she’d expected and at the same time everything she’d dreamed of, she’d dismissed the notion of adventuring. Now, however, she felt as though the adventure she’d been waiting for all along was beginning. She thought she might be able to understand why the Marauders had been so keen to stray out of bounds all these years. 

The cave turned out to be a long, winding tunnel. They walked for half an hour – or forty-five minutes – or even an hour; it seemed to be never-ending. Finally, Sirius, who was leading the way, stopped and held up an old piece of parchment to his wand light. 

‘All clear,’ he said. Before Lily had time to wonder how he knew this, the passageway was flooded with candlelight. She followed the boys out of a hole in the castle wall and stood, blinking, in the corridor as Sirius slid a stone back into place and let a tapestry fall over it. Had they not just emerged from it, Lily would never have imagined that a secret passage out of school was hidden behind that tapestry. The wall it hung on looked completely solid. 

‘It’s all clear to the common room,’ announced Sirius, still regarding his parchment. ‘Filch is patrolling near the Great Hall, he won’t bother us.’ 

‘How do you know?’ 

Sirius winked at her. ‘I’m psychic, Lily dear. Divination and all, you understand.’ 

‘You don’t take Divination, Sirius,’ said Remus dryly. 

When the boys had hustled Peter up the spiral staircase to their dormitories, Lily leaned back in an armchair in the common room and reflected that she hadn’t really helped them much in the end. Besides not turning them in or giving them detention. 

Why she hadn’t was still beyond her, though. She was Head Girl, she ought to be responsible for discipline, and although she believed in giving chances, the Marauders were far past their last chance with the antics they had got up to over the years. 

And James was Head Boy – Remus was a prefect. Why wasn’t she angry at them, as she should have been? Where was her sense of responsibility? Her strictness in enforcing a proper code of conduct? 

Then she wondered if, in the first place, she was really responsible and strict and perfect prefect material. When they were younger, Petunia had been the law-abiding one, and she had been the sister with a penchant for mischief and a keen sense of adventure. Lily hadn’t even realised how much she’d changed since then. Maybe now, she was finding that old bit of herself again. 

‘You look really serious.’ 

Lily blinked. James had come down from the dormitory and was standing before her. 

‘Are you ticked off about Peter?’ 

‘Is he all right?’ 

‘Sleeping like a log. Snoring atrociously, though.’ James pulled up a chair next to her. ‘Look – thanks for not turning us in and all that.’ 

Lily shrugged. 

‘I’m not going to apologise, though,’ was James’s unexpected next statement. ‘I know you probably disapprove, especially because of the prefect thing, but it’s Christmas, Lily. And we only had two – I swear. It’s not like the other time you caught us.’ 

‘I expect there were many more times besides that.’ 

‘Er – two more, actually,’ said James frankly, surprising her again. ‘Not including this. Peter can’t really take alcohol well, that’s why we limited it to two tonight – except now we know his limit ought to be one. Anyway, Lily, we’re of age; we’d be able to drink if we weren’t at school. And term’s ended.’ 

‘So the rules are relaxed?’ 

‘We-ell …’ 

‘Actually, I find it an acceptable explanation.’ 

‘You do?’ 

‘Strangely, yes.’ 

James nodded. He said nothing more, but sat with her in companionable silence. Lily wasn’t sure what made her say what she did next. 

‘Do you want to … go down to the kitchens? Have a friendly Christmas drink?’ 

James looked thoroughly surprised. He stared at her for a long while. 

‘You know where the kitchens are?’ he said, finally. 

‘No,’ she told him. ‘But I figured you probably do. And you’re right. It’s Christmas.’ 

‘That it is,’ agreed James, a grin breaking across his face. ‘Come on, then.’ 


	8. 08 Nightmare

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER EIGHT:** **Nightmare**

_Christmas break, 1976_

When Lily stepped through the barrier separating platform nine and three-quarters from the Muggle world, her parents were nowhere to be seen. Undaunted, she leaned against a pillar to wait. Likely the traffic was bad. Or the car had broken down again. She didn’t even want to think about other possibilities. 

Such as Voldemort … and Death Eaters … and Muggle killings … 

‘Your family isn’t here yet?’ James sauntered over. 

‘No.’ Lily glanced at her watch. ‘I expect they’ve been held up,’ she said firmly. 

James nodded. ‘Would you like me to wait with you?’ 

‘I can take care of myself, James. And they shouldn’t be long.’ 

She raised her chin a little defiantly, expecting a rebuttal, but it didn’t come. James accepted her refusal gracefully. 

‘All right, then,’ he said simply. 

‘Thanks anyway,’ Lily added, as an afterthought. James smiled and held out a small box wrapped in brightly-coloured paper. 

‘What’s this?’ 

‘For you. I suppose I could’ve owled it, but I wanted to give it to you myself. Merry Christmas, Lily.’ 

Lily stared at him uncertainly. James nodded back at her and parted with an ‘I’ll see you back at Hogwarts’. She watched him stroll back to his parents and Sirius. James turned his head, caught her watching, and waved cheerily before the four of them rounded a bend and disappeared from view. 

The parcel had tiny Snitches printed all over. Trust James to get wrapping paper of the Quidditch variety. Still, the winking Snitches zooming about showed up well against the red background and had a rather gay effect. Lily scanned the station again. There was still no sign of her parents or Petunia, so she turned her attention back to James’s present. 

In the first year she’d known James, she’d given him a sugar quill and a card she’d drawn herself for Christmas, having had limited funds for presents. However, eleven-year-old boys weren’t particularly good gift-givers; none of the Marauders had bothered exchanging presents with each other, let alone with her. The second Christmas she’d known James they had been in a feud, and ignored each other completely, although they’d made up again after. By third year, they’d fallen out. 

James had started to fancy her in fourth year, and refusing to take ‘no’ as an answer, he’d sent her a box of expensive chocolates for Christmas. She’d thrown it into the fire. Ever since, his other presents, Christmas or otherwise, had met with similar fates. 

This year, however, Lily unwrapped the little box to find inside a single sugar quill and a piece of parchment with a badly-drawn Christmas tree on it. She lifted it out and turned it over. 

_Lily,_

_I know you hated all my other gifts, but I hope I got it right this time. I don’t know if you remember the only Christmas present you ever gave me. A sugar quill and a card. I’m returning the favour now – though it’s six years late. Sorry the card is such a flop, though. I tried – really, I did._

_Merry Christmas!_

_James._

It was a perfectly innocent letter, with nothing but friendly greetings. Lily smiled to herself as she read it again. She _had_ missed James’s friendship all this while – but now they had a second chance, and she couldn’t help but feel warm all over. 

~ * ~ 

Two hours later, James and their friendship was the last thing on Lily’s mind. She was in a hospital, which had a sterile, clinical smell. She felt like choking. The hard plastic chairs in the waiting room were horridly uncomfortable, but this fact barely registered in her mind as she sat, watching Petunia pace the room. 

She’d waited at the station an hour before Petunia arrived, her face pale and her blonde hair dishevelled. Lily’s heart had skipped a beat when she saw her sister’s distraught countenance. 

‘Pet? Where are Mum and Dad?’ 

‘Dad had a heart attack,’ Petunia had told her grimly. 

Lily had thought _she_ was about to have one too. She’d followed Petunia on the Muggle Underground until they’d arrived at the hospital. Her father was in intensive care, her mother at his bedside. One visitor at a time, the nurse had said. Fear gnawed at her heart as she waited for her mother to come out. 

‘How did this happen?’ she asked Petunia, when she couldn’t bear the silence, punctuated only by Petunia’s footsteps, anymore. 

Petunia froze mid-pace. ‘This morning,’ she said. ‘Dad was at work. Trying to put in extra time so he could get off to see you home. He’s been working too hard. It just happened at the garage.’ Mr Evans was a mechanic. 

‘Lily?’ Their mother stepped out into the waiting room. ‘Lily, you can go in.’ 

She didn’t need a second invitation. On shaky legs, she entered her father’s hospital room. 

David Evans was a stocky, muscular man, but lying in the hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines, with needles in his arm, he looked frail and helpless. It hurt Lily’s heart to see her father looking so weak and fragile. 

‘Dad?’ she whispered. 

‘Tiger.’ Her father’s voice was hoarse and breathless, coming from under the oxygen mask over his face. But he called her by his pet name for her with the utmost tenderness. 

‘Dad, how – how are you?’ Stupid question – obviously he wasn’t well. But Lily couldn’t think what to say. 

‘I’ll be all right, Tiger,’ said her father haltingly. ‘Just a little under the weather.’ 

‘ _Dad_.’ She took his hand in hers gently. ‘You’re going to get well, aren’t you? You’ve got to get better.’ 

Her father smiled at her. ‘Don’t worry about me, Lily. Tell me about school. I want to hear everything.’ 

Swallowing the lump in her throat, Lily began to talk, starting from the train ride, and the first prefect meeting she’d ever headed. She held her father’s hand as she did so, and from time to time, he gave her a tiny squeeze, as if to reassure her that he was still there, still listening. 

‘– and he’s being really just friends again, and I’m really glad he’s stopped all that nonsense.’ Lily paused upon finishing her account of the latest news on James Potter, but her father did not press on her palm again. ‘Dad?’ 

His eyes were closed, his breathing slow but regular. Her father was sleeping. Lily peeked out of the room window. Her mother and Petunia were sitting outside, waiting. 

‘I have to go now, Dad. I’ll just let you sleep. Rest well and get better, OK?’ Lily bent over to plant a kiss on her father’s cheek. ‘Good night, Dad.’ 

‘It’s getting late,’ said Mrs Evans as Lily emerged. ‘Girls, I think you should go home and get some rest. Lily, you must be tired, you’ve had a long day.’ 

‘You must’ve too, Mum,’ protested Lily. ‘You should get a rest.’ 

‘I’ll stay with Dad,’ said Petunia. She cast a dark look at Lily. ‘In case he gets bad dreams about all the stuff you must have told him.’ Lily sighed. Petunia had adopted her anti-magic stance since the previous Christmas, and it looked like she wasn't letting up any time soon.

‘Petunia,’ said Mrs Evans warningly. ‘Please don’t start that here.’ 

‘Dad _wanted_ to know.’ 

Petunia didn’t answer, but stalked into their father’s room. Thankfully, she didn’t slam the door behind her. 

Mrs Evans shook her head wearily. ‘She’s tired, Lily. And worried, too. Don’t mind what she says now.’ 

‘I’m all right, Mum.’ She took her mother’s arm and led her down the hall. ‘Why don’t we go home and get some sleep so we can come back early tomorrow.’ 

~ * ~ 

It was snowing. James watched the flakes tumbling down with an anxious heart. Was Lily all right? Had her parents come? She couldn’t possibly still be waiting now – she had to be home by now. He wished he had a way to know for sure that she was OK. 

‘Dinner, James!’ Sirius’s cheerful voice rang out. ‘Merlin, it’s cold in here. Why on earth do you have the window open?’ 

James shut his window with a bang. 

‘It’s snowing,’ he said irrelevantly. 

‘Evidently,’ said Sirius. ‘What’s bugging you? The lovely Miss Evans didn’t refuse your Christmas present this time, did she?’ 

‘No, she took it.’ That, at least, seemed to have gone right. ‘Sirius, you don’t think there’s been any … any Death Eater stuff recently, do you?’ 

Sirius’s face darkened. ‘How recent do you mean?’ 

‘I don’t know. Lily’s parents weren’t at the station though. You don’t think anything’s happened?’ 

‘You know I don’t read the _Prophet_ anymore –’ 

‘I know.’ James didn’t like finding out about all the chaos outside Hogwarts either, but Sirius had a sadder reason: he had sworn off the newspaper ever since he’d opened it one day to find an enormous black-and-white picture of a Black cousin sneering at him. The day Marcellus Black had been captured by Aurors, Sirius had refused to look in the _Daily Prophet_ again. ‘Your family –’ 

‘They’re not my family anymore!’ growled Sirius fiercely. 

‘Sorry.’ Sirius was touchy about the subject; he’d renounced all things Black last year when he ran away from home. But James knew that it was difficult for Sirius to dismiss all his memories of his family – especially those of happier times when they were children. James wondered how he’d feel if the cousins he’d played with when he was young turned out to be torturers and murderers today. 

‘Don’t worry, James,’ said Sirius finally. ‘Lily will be fine.’ He spoke with conviction, but James could see there was no substance behind it. Still, there wasn’t anything he could do now but hope Sirius was right. 

‘Yeah,’ he said. 

‘Come on, then. Dinner’s waiting.’ 

~ * ~ 

There wasn’t much to say in the car. Mrs Evans drove along the icy roads in silence. Lily stared out of the window, watching the snow fall. It would be a white Christmas this year, without doubt. But it wouldn’t be perfect unless her father was well. 

_Why did you have to work yourself so hard, Dad?_ she thought sadly. _Why didn’t you take better care of yourself?_

A sudden brightness startled her. Two flashlights seemed to have been switched on in front of her eyes. There was a sharp intake of breath from her mother. Lily barely had time to register that they were heading right for a truck – her mother yanked the steering wheel and the car swerved – Lily’s first instinct was to reach for her wand in her pocket – there was an awful screech – 

A pop, a bang, and Lily felt her head hit something very hard. 

_Impedimenta_ , she thought. She had to slow the car down. But her mouth wouldn’t move. She seemed to be stationary, and it didn’t feel like she was in the car anymore. Where was her mother? Still in the car – _stop the car!_

_Impedimenta, impedimenta, impedimenta …_

The world went black. 

~ * ~ 

Someone was screaming hysterically. Lily’s head hurt. Had the car stopped? She felt warm; she was lying down – had they somehow got home? But who was screaming? 

‘Calm down, Miss Evans – Miss Evans, _please_.’ 

She didn’t recognise the voice. And why was someone telling her to calm down? She was calm; she wasn’t even moving. 

‘This isn’t helping, Miss Evans, would you please calm down –’ 

‘No, no, no, she has those freak powers, she can –’ 

‘Miss Evans, you’re not thinking straight –’ 

‘Lily Evans, bring Mum back now!’ howled Petunia’s voice. 

Lily opened her eyes and took in the scene before her. 

She was in a plain, whitewashed room with pink curtains drawn across the windows. The bed she was lying in had clean, white sheets tucked tightly around her. A hysterical Petunia was fighting against a flustered lady in a nurse’s uniform. 

‘Miss Evans, if you aren’t going to calm down, I’m going to have to ask you to leave immediately. Your sister has been through an ordeal, and –’ 

‘Lily, you _have_ to bring her _back_!’ roared Petunia. The nurse slapped her around the face. Petunia stared at her, livid. 

‘Miss Evans, that’s enough!’ scolded the nurse. ‘I’m sorry, but you’re hysterical.’ 

Petunia looked very much like she wanted to hit the nurse, but she refrained, trembling with what Lily was certain was anger. 

‘I’m calm now, nurse,’ she said in a low voice. ‘Could you leave the room?’ 

The nurse gave her a searching look. ‘I’ll give you another chance, Miss Evans, but I don’t want to hear you causing any more disturbances.’ She left, closing the door softly behind her. 

‘Pet?’ Lily put a hand to her aching head as she tried to sit up. ‘Pet, what happened? What am I doing here? Where’s Mum? Aren’t you with Dad?’ 

Petunia looked at her with pleading eyes. ‘The nurse is gone now, Lily. You can do your … _stuff_ now. I won’t call you a freak any more, I promise. Just bring them back.’ 

‘Them? Pet, what _happened_?’ 

‘Stop being like this, Lily!’ begged Petunia. ‘ _Please_ , hurry up and do your … magic.’ The last word was a whisper, and it was the first time in a year that Lily had heard her sister mention it. A cold suspicion snuck into her mind, but she pushed it away firmly. She couldn’t let herself think that anything bad had happened … 

‘Pet, I don’t know what happened. The last thing I remember is the car – it swerved …’ 

‘You don’t remember?’ said Petunia incredulously. ‘After what you did, how can you not remember?’ 

‘What did I do? Pet, what did I do?’ 

‘There was – there was an accident.’ Petunia said it quietly, but her whole frame was shaking. ‘The doctors say it’s a miracle you’re alive, but all I know is that you should be dead, but you’re not, and I know you used that – that _magic_ to save yourself.’ 

_Impedimenta_ , said a voice in Lily’s mind. So she had used the spell. Her mother should be all right, then. 

‘Mum’s fine, then? Where is she?’ 

‘ _Where is she?_ ’ Petunia’s voice was half-gasp, half-choke. ‘You didn’t even bother to save her and you’re asking me where she is?’ 

The words hit Lily like an anvil. _Didn’t bother to save her_. Surely that didn’t mean … 

‘No – Pet, what are you saying. I stopped the car, didn’t I? That’s why we survived. That’s why it’s a miracle –’ 

‘The car went crashing down a cliff! With Mum in it!’ 

‘No. No. No, it didn’t. I’m here, Petunia, I’m here. It can’t have, or I wouldn’t be here.’

‘She died, Lily. That’s why you need to bring her back!’ Lily shook her head frantically. It wasn’t possible. She remembered … she remembered … 

‘No. Mum’s not dead.’ 

Petunia let out an impatient scream. The nurse burst into the room, appalled. 

‘Miss Evans! That’s enough, I really must ask you to leave now!’ She frog-marched Petunia to the door and pushed her out, shutting it firmly behind her. 

‘Is – is it true?’ Lily asked the nurse. ‘My mother –’ 

The nurse hung her head. ‘I’m sorry. There was nothing anyone could do. She must have been killed on impact. You’re lucky to be alive, Miss Evans.’ 

Lily thought she might faint. It was really true. Her mother was … 

Gone. 

‘Incredibly lucky,’ the nurse was saying. ‘It appears that you were thrown _out_ of the car when it swerved. You hit your head, so you were mildly concussed, but besides that, all that seems to be wrong with you are bruises and scratches. It’s amazing.’ 

Lily barely heard her. Suddenly, she needed to find Petunia. She threw the sheets aside and got out of bed. 

‘Miss Evans!’ ‘I’m fine, aren’t I?’ Ignoring the nurse’s protests, she rushed out of the room. 

She found Petunia two corridors down, slumped against the wall and sobbing inconsolably. Lily squatted next to her, her heart heavy. Petunia looked at her with red-rimmed eyes. 

‘Dad’s gone too,’ she said brokenly. ‘He just slipped away … like Mum called him away when she – when she –’ 

It was almost too much to absorb. In the course of a few hours, she and Petunia had lost both parents. She was an orphan. The word rang in her ears, cold and ugly. An orphan. Just like that. Lily couldn’t stop shaking her head; she didn’t want to believe this. She wanted to close her eyes and open them again to find that it was a dream. 

‘Bring them back,’ whispered Petunia. When Lily didn’t reply, she repeated herself, more forcefully. ‘ _Bring them back_.’ 

‘I can’t …’ 

Petunia grabbed hold of Lily’s shoulders and started to shake her. ‘You did this, now reverse it! I don’t care how – turn back time or start their hearts up again, just _do_ something!’ 

‘Magic doesn’t _work_ that way –’ 

‘Of course it does! Wave your wand and make everything right again – _why won’t you do it_?’ 

‘Because I _can’t_!’ 

A stinging slap across Lily’s face sent her reeling. 

‘You selfish bitch,’ said Petunia hoarsely. ‘You let her die and you won’t even bring her back, and what’s the use of all that magic if you bastards won’t even lift a finger to help people who can’t do it?’ 

‘Pet, I tried to save her, I really did, I thought I’d cast the spell –’ 

‘I’m not stupid, Lily. You’re alive. If you could cast a spell for yourself, you could’ve done one for Mum, too. You just didn’t _want_ to.’ 

‘That’s not true. There’s no way I could –’ 

‘Oh, it’s OK for your lot to _kill_ people, but it’s not all right to save those of us who can’t do magic? We’re just _Muggles_ , aren’t we? So that's the side you've chosen, Lily. I don’t know how you can live with yourself.’

‘No – _no_ , you’ve got it all wrong!’ 

‘Shut up,’ snapped Petunia in a tone of voice that could have frozen an entire lake. ‘I’ll never forgive you.’ She gave Lily a glare of pure loathing. ‘I don’t want to see you again.’ 

Lily pressed her head against the cool wall of the hospital. She wanted to throw up, but the bile was stuck in her throat; it couldn’t get pass the lump that was growing bigger and bigger. Petunia’s footsteps died away down the corridor, but Lily hadn’t any more energy to run after her. 

She could only clench her fists and wish she was dreaming. 


	9. 09 The Awakening

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER NINE:** **The Awakening**

_December, 1976 – January, 1977_

Despite her vow never to see Lily again, Petunia had no choice but to do so in the following fortnight. Lily didn’t know where her sister went from the hospital; she stayed there overnight, tossing and turning until dawn as images of a car hurtling down an icy cliff plagued her tired mind. The next morning, she was discharged, and she wandered London for two hours before deciding she ought to return home. She spent ten Sickles on the Knight Bus to get home, but once there, she didn’t know what to do with herself. 

Petunia came home three days later. A big, beefy man with a moustache escorted her to the door and patted her on the back before driving off in a mustard-coloured car. Petunia said nothing to Lily, accusing or otherwise, but went straight to the room that they shared and barricaded herself inside. 

Christmas came and went. Lily wouldn’t have noticed, except she received owls from her friends, carrying Christmas greetings and gifts. She threw them aside without looking at them. 

Petunia finally started talking to Lily again – to discuss the funeral. Lily didn’t even want to think about it. She let her sister make all the plans, and simply agreed to everything. 

Even at the funeral – a sombre, silent affair – Lily didn’t shed a tear as she and Petunia buried their parents. Petunia wept throughout the ceremony: incessant tears poured silently down her cheeks, which she didn’t bother to wipe away. Few people turned up; they had no close living relatives, and Lily hadn’t owled back any of her friends. Those who arrived to offer their condolences were friends of Petunia’s (the beefy man appeared again) or neighbours. Lily simply stood quietly in a corner. 

‘I have to go back to school,’ Lily told Petunia after the funeral. Term started again after the New Year. Lily could hardly summon enough energy to return to Hogwarts, but she couldn’t stay in the house, where memories of her parents haunted her every turn. 

Petunia looked at her with cold, apathetic eyes. ‘Go, then. I don’t want to see you anyway.’ 

And that was that. Lily thought maybe she’d become encased in ice since the accident. Her sister’s hurtful words couldn’t seem to penetrate and reach her. 

She returned to Hogwarts still feeling cold and hollow inside. On the Hogwarts Express, people who passed her stared. Lily found herself an empty compartment and sat staring out of the window until the train pulled into Hogsmeade station. 

~ * ~ 

It was a week before the ice broke. A long week in which tired took on a new meaning. Point-blank exhaustion would be more precise, thought Lily, as she struggled to prop open her drooping eyelids and concentrate on what Professor McGonagall was saying. 

It wasn’t any use; her brain was fatigued beyond absorbing. In the two weeks following her parents’ deaths, she had slept barely two or three hours a day. Or none at all. Part of her couldn’t even be bothered and wanted to hide away and mourn. But there was another part of her that had suddenly awakened, and was urging her to snap out of it. 

She wondered what had suddenly changed. And then she looked around her and she knew. A peek at the radii of desks around her revealed her friends, in very much the same situation as her. 

They were all exhausted. Worn out from countless nights staying up until the crack of dawn to sit with her in silence. Coaxing her to eat the food James and Sirius snuck out of the kitchens. Extending hands of comfort when nightmares shook her back to consciousness during the brief periods when weariness claimed her mind and body. Surrounding her with warmth and friendship … and love. 

Alice was so pale, she could have joined Nearly-Headless-Nick as resident ghost of Gryffindor. James’s eyes were open with enormous effort, and even his thick black-framed glasses couldn’t mask the heavy bags hanging beneath them. Remus was nodding off; his head snapped back to attention, only to repeat this cycle every few seconds. Sirius had given in and was sound asleep on his desk. Dorcas’s back was ramrod-straight, but her eyes were glassy and unfocused. And Peter was in a complete daze. 

Unconsciously, the icy wall that had gone up around her melted down. Her parents were gone, her sister wouldn’t speak to her, her best friend was long gone, but she wasn’t alone. 

Lily found she appreciated it. She didn’t deserve their concern; and yet they were there for her now, when she sorely needed them. She would never have dared asked their help. But they had put themselves there, rallied themselves by her, and she was too grateful to push them away anymore. 

Alice and Dorcas stayed with her that night, in the common room. Wedged between her two friends on the couch, Lily let the crackling fire lull her to sleep. 

She dreamt, then, of her parents. Not the recurring nightmare of the car crash that had invaded her mind for the past weeks; just her mother and her father, standing before her, smiling and nodding. 

_Tiger_ , said her father. _We love you. Let go._

Then they faded away, still beaming at her. 

When Lily awoke, there was a strange wetness on her cheeks. She raised her hand slowly. 

_Tears_. 

Somewhere inside of her, a dam had broken. For the first time since the accident, she was crying. It felt strangely therapeutic – like a release of grief and guilt. And Lily realised something else too. With her tears, she was letting go. 

She was saying goodbye. 

~ * ~ 

The full moon came a week after the start of term. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs had been together in the Shrieking Shack as always, but James’s thoughts kept drifting to Lily. 

It’d been a distressful week. Lily had been out of sorts since the Christmas break. She talked to no-one, not even the teachers. The first prefect meeting of the term had been a disaster, with the Head Girl looking like a wreck. Drucilla Malfoy had been quick to pounce on this. Lily had walked right out of the meeting, to the glee of the Slytherins. James’s first instinct was to run after her and make her tell him what was wrong, but he stayed, and tried to do his duty as Head Boy. 

James found out the terrible news from Professor McGonagall; Lily had lost both her parents over Christmas. 

He couldn’t help but ache for her then. Lily never shed a tear, but she walked around like a zombie, missed classes, and paced the common room nightly. He didn’t know if she was eating; from the pinched look of her face, he’d guessed she wasn’t. 

The night he’d found out, he and Sirius had snuck down to Hogsmeade to bring back Butterbeer and Honeydukes’s best chocolate, hoping to tempt her appetite. She’d stared at them with hollow eyes and turned away. 

James was still fretting over it when the Marauders returned to the common room at dawn. There, he got a shock. 

Lily, Alice and Dorcas were squeezed together on the couch before the fire. Alice was dozing beside Lily, and Dorcas had her head buried in her arms on the other side of the couch. Lily, however, was still awake, her face glowing dimly in the firelight. She turned and his gaze locked on luminous green eyes. _Wet_ luminous green eyes. James realized that there were tears on her cheeks. 

‘Lily?’ he said softly. To his surprise, she shifted closer to Alice slightly, to make room for him. Awkwardly, he sat down next to her. Sirius grinned at him knowingly, and dragged Peter away. 

She looked at him and smiled – the first smile that he had seen on her face since before the Christmas break. 

‘I’m all right,’ she told him softly, reassuringly. James almost laughed in disbelief. ‘You should go up to bed,’ Lily continued. ‘You must be tired.’ 

She was tired, too. More so than him. Close to her, James could see that her eyes were bloodshot. 

‘So should you.’ 

Lily closed her eyes and – the most amazing thing – she leant her head against his shoulder. James held his breath, scarcely believing it. 

‘I know you’ve been worried,’ she murmured. ‘You’re a good friend, James.’ 

He let out his breath in a small whoosh of disappointment. Of _course_ , she wouldn’t think of him as anything more than her friend. But then again, it was better than nothing. And she was all right. She was going to be fine. That was everything. 

Lily’s eyes opened, but she didn’t move her head. James couldn’t see her expression; her gaze was cast towards the fire. He wished he dared put his arm around her, but he sensed that she wouldn’t be ready. Maybe – he hoped so, at least – that time would come someday later. But not now. Now he settled for the intense pleasure of having Lily rest her head against him, of being a friend she could depend on tonight. 

His shoulder got numb, but he didn’t move a muscle, and neither did she, until the sun was blaring against the thick drapes. Lily was still awake, staring blankly into space in front of her. 

The pressure on his shoulder disappeared as Lily raised her head and gently tried to stand without disturbing Alice. James jumped to his feet immediately, to allow her room to manoeuvre herself off the couch. 

‘You’re still awake,’ she said. 

‘Yeah.’ 

‘Thank you. I’m – I’m really OK now. I think I’ve – made my peace with it.’ 

James wondered what had happened before he’d arrived, what deep thoughts had stirred Lily’s mind and brought her out of the depression she’d been in the past week, and decided that whatever had transpired in her head, he didn’t need to pry; he was simply relieved. 

Dorcas stretched and yawned. She looked around curiously. 

‘What time is it? When did you come down, James? Lily, are you all right?’ 

Lily placed a reassuring hand on Dorcas’s arm. ‘I thought it through last night, Dorcas. I’m OK now. Thank you.’ 

‘Really?’ 

Lily nodded. ‘We ought to get some sleep today.’ She glanced at Alice. ‘I don’t have the heart to wake her, though.’ 

‘I could help you carry her up …’ James offered. Lily shook her head. 

‘Don’t forget, you can’t get past our stairs,’ she reminded him. He’d forgotten that the stairwell to the girls’ dormitories was magically activated against male entry. 

Dorcas shook Alice lightly. She came to slowly, blinking against the sunlight streaming into the room. Dorcas whispered something in her ear and she nodded. 

James watched the girls climb the stairs to their dormitory, Lily with slow but steady steps. He was relieved to see that something in her posture had indeed changed; the ‘real’ Lily had returned, to replace the brittle mask of her true self that had been present just before. 

And it struck him that now, she was slowly piecing what was left of her world back together, the same way that she tried to hold the school in one piece, with a strength that only Lily could possess. 

It only made him love her more. 

~ * ~ 

It wasn’t easy for Lily to return her focus to school. 

Her homework was piled sky-high on the table in front of her. 

Her other troubles weren’t quite so overtly laid out, but they were no lower than the work. 

Lily wished she could just fall asleep and wake up to find everything solved: the work miraculously completed, her worries incredibly vanished. 

At this point, though, any kind of sleep would be a relief. 

Sleep, however, was a luxury that she couldn’t afford now. A quick glance at her watch told her she had only fifteen minutes before the Prefect meeting. If she hurried, she could complete her Potions essay. Lily pulled her Potions text across the table, flipped it open, and tried to bully her brains into writing a five-foot-long essay. 

~ * ~ 

The fire in the hearth was crackling. Lily slid sleepily into consciousness, wondering how a fire had got into the dormitory. 

Wait. This _wasn’t_ her dormitory. Lily sat bolt upright on the sofa. Her blanket fell to the floor in a heap. 

James was sitting on the rug before the fire, tending to it with a poker. The rest of the common room was empty. 

‘There’s a prefect meeting,’ Lily said aloud. 

‘Don’t worry about it,’ said James. ‘I’ve got the notes for you.’ 

‘I _missed_ the meeting?’ Lily felt scandalised. She must have fallen asleep over her work … ‘Why didn’t you wake me?’ 

‘Relax, Lily. I told them you weren’t well. Don’t argue – you needed the sleep and you know it!’ He gave her a mock-stern glare, and she gave in. 

‘All right, all right. I – well, thanks.’ He was right. The few hours – she was shocked to find it was one in the morning – had done a world of good. 

‘James,’ she said suddenly. 

‘Yeah?’ 

‘I fell asleep at the table, didn’t I?’ 

‘Er – I suppose so.’ 

‘How did I get here, then? And –’ she held up the blanket suspiciously ‘– where did this come from?’ 

James didn’t answer, but the way he was avoiding her eyes and turning red was indication enough. 

He’d carried her to the softer couch. He’d brought the blanket. He’d kept the fire going. James had watched over her. 

And he would keep on doing so, Lily realised. 

Deep down inside her, Lily knew James Potter loved her. It wasn’t something she cared to admit, though. She was happy with him as her friend, and he was perceptive enough to know she didn’t want anything more from him. So she had blithely ignored the fact, and so far it hadn’t really troubled either of them for a long time. 

She still wasn’t sure if she was willing to give him a chance at a relationship. But he was always there, and she had come to trust him again. 

‘Thanks, James,’ she told him, with a smile to tell him plainly that she understood what he was doing, and appreciated it. He looked up then and grinned sheepishly. 

Lily calculated that she could finish at least half her stack of work by breakfast. But James caught her wrist before she could sit back at her table. 

‘I’ve got work to do,’ she protested firmly. 

‘You’re going to sleep,’ he told her, equally firm. Lily opened her mouth to object, but something in his eyes made her shut it and give in. It wasn’t like she didn’t need the sleep anyway; quite the contrary, in fact: she was rather desperate for it. She nodded, and James released her quickly, looking both relieved and slightly embarrassed at his success. 

‘Good night, James,’ she said softly, and on impulse, leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. 

She didn’t stay to watch his reaction – part of her was amazed at her daring. But somewhere in her mind, Lily knew it was appropriate. 

 

_**A/N** : Once again, I find myself apologising for the long wait in between chapters. I keep wanting to get them up earlier, I really do, but then other things get in the way. *glares at RL* Thank you all for bearing with me. I hope this chapter made up for some of the wait! _

_I don’t know when the next chapter will be up – probably not very soon, as I’ve got camp and a holiday trip back to back next week. And I think I’ll make sure the chapter _after_ the next is coming along as well, because I don’t want to torture you with a wait between the next two chapters. *wink*_

_- **shiiki**_


	10. 10 A New Nightmare

_**A/N** : My very cool, very awesome beta **jamc** got back to me at a perfect time. So it's really thanks to her that I can offer up this chapter as a Christmas present to all of you. **Happy Christmas** , everyone!_

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER TEN:** **A New Nightmare**

_February, 1977_

As the month wore on, January blending smoothly into February, things settled back into a normal routine of classes, Quidditch and Head Boy duties. The fourteenth of February rolled by, a Hogsmeade weekend. 

In truth, James hadn’t planned anything this time. He wasn’t quite sure how Lily would react if he asked her out on Valentine’s Day, even if his intentions were innocent. However, by chance, they were the only two seventh-years in the Gryffindor common room on that day. 

Sirius had landed both himself and Peter in detention, much to the latter’s disgust. Remus was in the dormitory, sleeping off the after-effects of a transformation. Alice and Dorcas had gone out to do some shopping. 

As a result, it was just James and Lily occupying a table in the corner, separated by a couple of books. The weather outside was lovely: the sun was out, and the snow-covered grounds glittered appealingly. James ached to go flying, strolling around the lake, anything besides trying to study in the common room, whose fire was starting to feel sweltering hot. James leaned back in his seat and pulled irritably at his collar. 

Across the table from him, Lily seemed to be getting restless too. Her feet were tapping on the ground, and she glanced out of the window every few seconds. Finally, she laid down her quill and sighed. 

‘All right?’ asked James nonchalantly. 

‘Yeah. I don’t feel much like revising, though.’ 

James wondered if Lily would really mind very much if he suggested they take a walk into Hogsmeade after all. He watched her eyes rove out the window again, and decided to risk it. 

‘Why don’t we leave it for today, then? Aren’t you itching to get out a bit? We could take a walk, go into Hogsmeade a bit. Just so our muscles get working a bit.’ He looked at her hopefully. 

Lily considered this. Another glance out the window. 

‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’ll get my cloak.’ 

‘Me too,’ said James, his heart singing. ‘Meet you down here in a bit!’ 

Ten minutes later, they were on the path to Hogsmeade, and James’s spirits were high. They hadn’t even had to pass Filch, who was busy growling at Sirius in detention, no doubt. The sun lit up Lily’s hair, turning the coppery strands to gold. James gazed at it surreptitiously, trying to imagine what it would be like to run his fingers through it. Lily chattered away easily, sounding happier than she had been for a while. James felt she appreciated being out in the clean winter air after staying indoors for so long. 

James stayed carefully away from Madam Puddifoot’s or the Hog’s Head this time, remembering the mishaps of the past two times he’d been to Hogsmeade. He glanced at Lily and suddenly recalled her asking about a connection between Padfoot and Madam Puddifoot; the thought of it made him snort in laughter and caused Lily to stare at him in alarm. 

He was about to explain the joke to her when it suddenly didn’t seem very funny after all. In fact, his high spirits seemed to have evaporated on the spot. Lily’s face darkened too into a frown, her eyebrows furrowing. 

Then there was a mind-numbing chill. The sun seemed to go out as though someone had said _‘Nox_ ’ in a candle-lit room. James could see all the passer-bys felt it too – everyone turned stone cold at the same instant, eyes turning wide with fear. Lily’s hand tightened around his arm, but he could feel no pleasure about it. 

Two Dementors were coming down the main street of Hogsmeade. James’s hand immediately went to his wand, his heart sinking. 

_Oh shit_. 

~ * ~ 

_We’re under attack. Oh my God, we’re being attacked. This can’t be happening_. 

The thoughts raced through Lily’s mind as she gripped her wand tightly in one hand and James’s arm equally hard in the other. 

_Don’t panic, don’t panic, you learnt how to deal with this before._

Could she do a Patronus Charm? She’d succeeded in class, but that was a different matter – here, in front of a real Dementor … 

All around her, people were starting to panic, screaming and yelling and sobbing and running in all directions. 

‘ _Expecto Patronum_!’ A magnificent silver hound leapt out of James’s wand and charged at the nearest Dementor. It backed away uncertainly. 

‘Get behind me!’ ordered James. Students all over the streets started flocking to him, looking desperately for directions. Lily let go of his arm, and immediately felt herself being jostled away from him by the crowding students. 

‘ _Expecto Patronum … Expecto …_ ’ A few metres away from her, Lily saw Chris Berguise’s Patronus flicker and die. He was so close to one of the Dementors – she noticed with a sickening jolt that there were _more_ of them. It advanced upon him … 

It was all she could do to summon a happy thought – to focus on the thought of her parents alive and with her … but the Dementors were sucking all thoughts of her parents out of her mind, except for the terrible moment when she had learnt they were both dead … 

_Crying in the common room. Nightmares that kept her up all night. Her friends’ sad faces grieving for her. James …_

The image of his face, eyes bright with concern, stood out in her mind, clear and sharp. Desperate, Lily focused on it. 

‘ _Expecto Patronum!_ ’ she yelled, and her Patronus, a sleek silver tigress, shot out of her wand. It circled the Dementor surrounding Chris, and the Dementor quickly backed away from him. 

The feeling of euphoria at her success barely lasted five seconds, though. There were so many Dementors, and so few people around who could cast a proper Patronus at all, let alone in the presence of a cold soul-sucking monstrosity. They had to get away, back to the safety of Hogwarts, but the Dementors were coming down the very path they would have to take to get back. Their escape was blocked. 

‘Lily!’ James was back by her side. His warm breath grazed her ear. ‘Do you remember that secret passage I showed you last time?’ 

She searched her mind frantically. ‘The one behind Zonko’s?’ 

‘Yes! Get as many people back through there as you can. I’ll hold these off as long as I can.’ 

‘But –’ She couldn’t just leave him to deal with everything! James interpreted her hesitation and rebutted her fiercely. 

‘I’ve got other ways to get out of here, _go_! Everybody, follow Lily, come on, she’ll take you back to school!’ 

He hadn’t left her much choice. Lily tightened her hold on her wand and waved out to the students on the streets. Chris had made his way to her side and was helping her guide them. 

‘Where are we going?’ 

‘Secret passage.’ She hoped she could find it again. 

There were more prefects now, and they were helping to round up students to follow her. Lily led them into the alley between Zonko’s and Scrivenshaft’s, into the clump of trees behind Zonko’s. The two almost-interwoven trees were there, looking just as they had when the Marauders had shown it to her before Christmas. Lily yanked at a branch. To her relief, the trees inched apart to reveal the carefully hidden passage opening. 

‘In here! You’ll end up on the second floor outside that tapestry next to the Charms classroom. Get a teacher, before it’s too late!’ she said as she sent Chris with the first wave of terrified students. 

She herself remained outside the tunnel, watching anxiously. Prefects continued to lead groups of students in, and the stream of students was trickling smaller, once almost everyone that had been following her had gone through. But there had to be those who hadn’t managed to get away. 

And James. Lily felt sick with worry. What was happening back there? 

~ * ~ 

James counted ten Dementors. Not exactly an army, but enough to do severe damage. His Patronus was a help; it was swiftly leaping in circles around them, keeping them huddled in a group. If he could stay strong enough to hold them back until everyone had escaped, he could find his way back to the castle easily; he had any number of secret passages all over Hogsmeade. 

But unfortunately, it wasn’t only Dementors he had to worry about. Masked men were appearing, all clad in hooded black robes. _Death Eaters_ , thought James with a chill. And worst of all, that tall, thin, bald man with a skull-like head and slits for eyes who had just Apparated like a blast of cold air … 

James found himself wondering if he was actually going to get out alive. 

~ * ~ 

Three figures were approaching at a run. One cloaked, chasing after two girls in front of it. Lily called out her Patronus and sent it charging at the lone Dementor. The silver tigress leapt at it … and the Dementor stumbled. 

Lily stared, puzzled. Dementors didn’t have feet, did they? Didn’t they glide? 

Then the Dementor brandished a wand. 

_Oh my God._

It wasn’t a Dementor. Lily’s heart nearly stopped. A Death Eater. 

‘Lily – run, go in!’ cried Zinnia Prewett. ‘Seal the entrance!’ 

Zinnia arrived first at the tunnel and dashed in. Lily ducked in with her, as she saw the Death Eater aim a curse at them. 

‘ _Protego!_ ’ 

The green light blasted right through her shield charm, however, and Lily realised without a doubt that it could only be the unblockable killing curse. She swerved to her left, and the light missed her by inches. 

_Zinnia! No, please, miss her!_

There was a dull thump in the tunnel. Lily’s heart gave a lurch. Zinnia couldn’t be … 

‘Get in here,’ she screamed at the other girl. She didn’t seem to hear her. Sick with fear and dread, Lily rushed out and grabbed her and yanked her in. 

‘Get your filthy hands off me,’ snarled Drucilla Malfoy. 

‘What have we here?’ drawled the Death Eater. ‘A little Mudblood.’ 

She was almost petrified with fear, but she had to seal the passageway entrance. A cold shiver ran down her spine as she realised she had no idea how to close the gap between the trees. And even if she did, there wasn’t anything stopping the Death Eater from re-opening the passage. 

‘You’re not getting past.’ She tried to sound brave. She couldn’t let the Death Eater get in; he’d be loose in the school. But if he killed her, she wouldn’t have much choice. There had to be a way to seal the entrance and keep him out. She and Drucilla had to do something – but the sickening thought that Drucilla was probably on the Death Eater’s side crossed her mind, and Lily realised she was one against two. And one of those two was a Death Eater, who had no qualms about using any kind of Dark magic against which she was virtually defenceless. 

_He’s already killed Zinnia_ , she thought in terror. He wouldn’t hesitate to kill _her_ , unless she came up with something fast. _Think!_

‘Oh, I shall, eventually,’ laughed the Death Eater, in response. ‘Not before some _fun_ , however.’ He twirled his wand lazily in his hand, mocking her. Lily didn’t care – she was thinking fast. She needed something solid between her and the Death Eater, something she could put a strong locking charm on … 

‘ _Correbellus!_ ’ 

‘ _Protego!_ ’ 

The beam of light reflected off her Shield Charm and collided with the wall, chipping off a chunk of rock. 

_The wall! The roof!_

If it caved in … it would block the way. And with something solid, she could seal it, like a door of some sort … 

‘ _Crucio_!’ snarled the Death Eater, in the time that she hesitated, looking at the rocky cave roof. 

Lily aimed her wand at the ceiling and cried ‘ _Reducto_!’ a split second before the Cruciatius Curse hit her and forced her to redefine her definition of pain. 

The Death Eater must have expected Lily to aim at him, and was caught unprepared, for he stumbled backwards, alarmed. The curse lifted, and Lily rolled away, panting. Her whole body was aching. But she didn’t have time to rest or catch her breath: the ceiling was dissolving into boulders and crashing down around her. The walls crumbled, debris tumbling down. Fighting the ache in her muscles, Lily pushed herself to her feet and started to run. 

‘ _Colloportus!_ ’ she yelled as she raced away from the falling cave-top, praying that her Charm, plus the layers of rock falling, would be enough to seal the entrance properly. To protect Hogwarts. 

‘ _Impedimenta_!’ The beam of light struck her, unexpectedly, from within the tunnel. She had forgotten about Drucilla Malfoy. Horrified, Lily found herself moving in slow motion. The disintegrating tunnel was just upon her, and she couldn’t get out of the way. She could hear the rumble of the collapsing debris as it engulfed her. It was going to kill her. 

Something large and heavy sent her crashing to the ground. Lily’s face hit the floor, hard. She had the uncanny feeling of having been in a similar situation. Images flew through her mind, flashes that were too fast for her to catch. 

_Impedimenta!_ It had happened before. _Impedimenta,_ and then pain. 

A pop and a bang. The spell stuck in her head. 

_Impedimenta,_ she heard over and over again, the words echoing in her ears. Only now someone laughed cruelly. 

A sharp fragment connected with her head. Blinding pain. Everything swam before her eyes. 

_Mum,_ she thought, i _s this what happened to you?_

And then the world dissolved into nothingness. 


	11. 11 Battle Scars

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER ELEVEN:** **Battle Scars**

_February, 1977_

‘Sit still, Potter, or I’ll end up patching you up unevenly!’ Madam Pomfrey tutted at him. James stopped trying to crane his head to peek through the curtains around Lily. Madam Pomfrey ran her wand over his injuries expertly. 

He wasn’t badly hurt; he’d done a bit of duelling and got cut, scraped and bruised everywhere. The worst of it was only an inch-long gash in his cheek, which Madam Pomfrey was repairing now. 

There were remarkably few injuries – most students hadn’t anything more than an abrasion brought about from brushing against rough surfaces while rushing to escape. A great deal of chocolate had been needed, however, to deal with the after-effects of the Dementors. 

‘Good as new,’ said Madam Pomfrey finally. ‘Let me just clean you up a bit. _Tergeo_!’ She siphoned off the dried blood from his face and handed him a large slab of chocolate. ‘There you go, Potter. Eat that up, now.’ 

James took a big bite of chocolate – it was distinctly a Honeydukes’ product – and felt warmth spread throughout his body instantaneously. The chill the Dementors had given him dissipated slowly. 

There was a muffled noise from behind the curtains. James forgot the chocolate. Lily was lying there, looking half-dead – he knew because he’d been in the hospital wing when they’d brought her in, alongside Zinnia Prewett, who _was_ dead. Madam Pomfrey had fixed up Lily’s battered body, but she had yet to awaken. 

Now, though … James hopped off the stool and followed Madam Pomfrey to Lily’s bedside. 

~ * ~ 

There was screaming coming from a distant place. Or was it laughing? Lily couldn’t tell. She felt as if she was moving underwater – in very dark, black, murky water. 

Her mother was calling her name. _Lily, Lily, Lily._ It rang out, clear and loud in her head. And then James was the one saying it. _Lily, Lily, Lily_. 

_But you’re dead,_ Lily told him. 

_No,_ said James. _You are._

_I am?_ she said. She opened her eyes. And everything was black. 

‘Why is it so dark?’ she croaked. 

‘Miss Evans,’ said a cool voice. ‘Can you hear me?’ 

‘Yes,’ Lily rasped. Her throat felt completely dry. ‘I can’t see.’ 

‘Madam Pomfrey.’ James’s voice. ‘Is she awake? Lily, are you all right?’ 

‘I can’t see. Why can’t I see?’ Was she dead, then? Panic was rising in her. And so was something in her stomach. She could taste the bile … 

She threw up all over the covers. 

‘Lily!’ The sound of footsteps. 

‘That’s quite enough! Get back, Potter!’ 

James apparently paid no attention to Madam Pomfrey, as the next thing Lily felt was a hand in hers. She clutched it, unable to dispel the terror welling up in her. 

‘Why can’t I see? Why can’t I see?’ 

‘Is this a hospital wing or not?’ roared the voice, irate. ‘Will you let go of her, Potter!’ 

James’s hand disappeared, leaving Lily more lost and afraid. Why couldn’t she see anything, only black …? 

‘Miss Evans, you’ll need to calm down, or I’ll have to give you a Calming Draught. Try to take a deep breath, now.’ 

The cool, firm voice made it easier to fight hysteria. Lily closed her eyes – not that it made a difference whether they were open or shut, but at least when she didn’t open them, she would face an understandable blackness. She took several deep, calming breaths. She could breathe. That meant she was alive, right? 

‘That’s better. Now, let’s get you out of this mess.’ Lily felt herself being guided gently out of bed. Someone wiped her mouth and settled her on another mattress. ‘Thank goodness it only got on the covers and not on you, or we’d have to get you changed, too. Now you stay still, and I’ll come do an examination on you when I get this cleaned up – yes, all right, Potter,’ she addressed James, ‘you can sit by her. _Quietly_.’ 

‘James?’ Lily ventured tentatively. 

‘I’m here,’ he said reassuringly. 

‘I’m – I’m not dead,’ she said uncertainly. 

‘Of course not.’ His voice rang out strongly. 

Everything was a blur in Lily’s head. She struggled to recall what had happened. 

‘What happened?’ she asked James. ‘Where am I?’ 

‘The hospital wing,’ he said. ‘You were – do you remember Hogsmeade?’ 

She recalled Dementors. A Death Eater. And Drucilla Malfoy. But her recollections were dim. 

‘I think so…’ she said slowly. ‘I was…there was a Death Eater. I tried to stop him. Did I? James, did he get in? And Zinnia! She’s all right; tell me she’s all right, too –’ 

‘Mr Potter, if you can’t talk to her without agitating her, I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.’ 

‘But Madam Pomfrey –’ 

‘Tell me, what happened? I need to know! Is everyone safe, did they all get back OK, what happened where you were?’ 

‘That’s enough! Out you go, Potter. No, no protests, go!’ Madam Pomfrey shooed James out of the room. Lily heard him arguing with her, their voices fading as she pushed him further away. She didn’t want James to go. She wanted him to stay beside her and tell her everything was all right. 

The infirmary door closed with a click. Madam Pomfrey was back, Lily could hear her footsteps. 

‘Madam Pomfrey, what happened? Is Hogsmeade safe? Are the Dementors gone? The Death Eaters –’ 

‘I don’t want any more questions from you now, Miss Evans. You need to rest and stop worrying. Everything is all right.’ Madam Pomfrey spoke firmly, but Lily didn’t feel very comforted. 

~ * ~ 

James paced the common room uneasily. Madam Pomfrey had categorically ordered him out of the hospital wing and even threatened to give him detention if she caught him anywhere near it. 

‘Miss Evans needs her rest, and you’re disturbing her,’ was her stern verdict. 

The threat of detention didn’t bother James, but it was pointless waiting outside the hospital wing. So he had returned to Gryffindor Tower, where at least he had a certain possession that would allow him to get back into the infirmary undetected. But he decided to wait until night, because he didn’t fancy the idea of the school nurse discovering his Invisibility Cloak. 

The occupants of Gryffindor Tower were all extremely subdued. Understandably; two of their number were down: Zinnia Prewett, felled by a Death Eater, and Lily – thank Merlin she hadn’t met with a similar fate! – seriously injured. James had found out from Professor Dumbledore that Lily had been crushed by a landslide of stones that had, along with a strong charm, sealed the entrance of the secret passage against outside invasion. He could only guess that she had done it herself, to ward off Death Eaters … although why she hadn’t got out of the way was beyond him. 

Alice, who had been in Hogsmeade, was white and shaking. She had been cornered by two Death Eaters – only narrowly escaping when help arrived as an Auror found her just in time. Dorcas had her arm around her friend. Peter had gone to bed ashen-faced. Even Sirius was uncharacteristically quiet, without a single complaint about missing out on the action. 

The hours ticked by unbearably slowly. Finally, at nine, James decided to take a chance and see if Madam Pomfrey had closed the infirmary for the night. 

~ * ~ 

Lily drifted in and out of sleep. Madam Pomfrey had given her a spoonful of liquid that tasted like beetroot. A sleeping draught, from the smell of it. Although Lily had never sampled one before, she had successfully brewed them enough times in Potions to recognise the leafy odour. 

There was a warm presence in the room when she slipped into consciousness. 

‘James?’ she asked. She was grasping at straws, guessing his identity. To her relief, she turned out to be right. 

‘How did you know it was me?’ 

‘I felt it.’ James let out a humph of disgruntlement. ‘I hope Madam Pomfrey doesn’t have a keen sixth sense like you seem to have developed. She told me I’d get detention if she caught me hanging around.’ 

Lily laughed softly. ‘Maybe you should go then.’ Although she didn’t want him to. She felt less lonely now that he was here. 

‘I’m not going anywhere. Are you OK?’ 

‘Yeah. I wish I could see you, though.’ 

‘D’you want me to take off the Cloak?’ 

‘What Cloak?’ 

‘The Invisibility Cloak, of course.’ 

‘Oh. I forgot you had one. It won’t matter. I can’t see anything at all. I wouldn’t be able to see you even if you were visible.’ 

‘You can’t … But why? Didn’t Madam Pomfrey do something about that?’ 

Lily shook her head. ‘She said the nerves were damaged. And it’ll take a while to repair. So … I’m blind.’ _Blind_. The word made her feel lost and afraid. She felt a silky material brush against her hand, and then warm fingers closed around her palm. Lily squeezed James’s hand gratefully. 

‘Thank you.’ 

‘It’s – she’ll fix it in the end, won’t she?’ 

‘I hope so.’ 

There was a strained silence. Lily imagined James was feeling awful for her. She cast around for a new subject, to take her mind off her sight – or rather, her lack thereof – and remembered that she had wanted answers from James earlier on. 

‘James, tell me – I want to know what happened in Hogsmeade.’ 

‘Are – are you sure you want to know this?’ 

‘Of course. I _need_ to know.’ 

‘Don’t get – worked up or anything, okay? Or Madam Pomfrey will chase me out again.’ 

‘Just tell me what happened. At your end first.’ 

‘Well, once you’d taken off for the passage, I held off the Dementors as best as I could. There were still a couple more students, and all the Hogsmeade residents and I didn’t want to leave them defenceless. Then the Death Eaters started coming and things got bad … they were shooting curses everywhere –’ 

‘Was anyone hurt?’ 

‘Not badly –’ James’s voice faltered a bit here, but he cleared his throat and went on. ‘At least not in the village. Dumbledore and the Aurors showed up quite quick so the Death Eaters couldn’t do much damage.’ 

‘That’s good. So everyone got back to school all right?’ 

James didn’t answer. Lily felt her breath catch in her throat. 

‘James?’ 

‘Not – not everyone. Lily – you don’t remember what happened in the secret passage? Because I don’t really know that bit, but …’ 

‘Zinnia,’ whispered Lily, remembering. The flash of green light bolting past her Shield Charm. She hoped she’d been mistaken, that Zinnia wasn’t really … 

James sighed heavily. ‘She didn’t make it, Lily.’ 

Her eyes stung, but they were dry; she literally had no tears to cry. Her heart, however, wrenched with pain. 

‘It missed me,’ she whispered. ‘The killing curse. I could have – I could have stood in its way but I dodged.’ 

‘No. No, Lily, don’t tell me you feel guilty for that. Lily, you saved the school. You almost died saving everyone. It’s not your fault you didn’t save her.’ 

_You didn’t save Mum either_ , a reproachful voice reminded her. 

‘It’s not your fault,’ James repeated, and though Lily knew he couldn’t possibly know the details of her mother’s death, Lily let herself believe that he meant it for both cases. 

~ * ~ 

James wondered why he hadn’t mentioned Voldemort to Lily. He’d conveniently managed to skip over that part in his tale, going straight from Death Eaters to Dumbledore. However, the five minutes he had left out were firmly emblazoned in his mind. 

_‘A mere schoolboy,’ said Voldemort, in a voice that was so cold and high-pitched, it was like a blast of ice. ‘Playing the hero.’_

_James held his wand defiantly. His Patronus was still charging around. Voldemort flicked his own wand lazily and the silver hound disappeared._

_‘Expecto Patronum!’ said James, calling it forward again, although what use it would be, he could not imagine. Voldemort was no Dementor. All he knew, though, was that his life was probably about to end – and he wasn’t about to go out meekly._

_‘A Gryffindor,’ remarked Voldemort, his slit eyes travelling to the red-and-gold stripes on James’s scarf. ‘Bravery … to the point of foolhardiness. Do you expect, boy, to defy Lord Voldemort and live?’_

_‘My name is James Potter,’ said James. ‘And I am not a boy.’ He didn’t even know where the words were coming from._

_To his surprise, Voldemort laughed – if that horrendous sound could be called a laugh._ _‘I do admire bravery. Tell me, James Potter, you stand up to me bravely, but have you the courage to follow the path to true power?’_

_‘I have the courage to do what is right.’_

_‘Right?’ Voldemort sounded amused. ‘There is no right or wrong, James Potter. But there is power. And I can give you power … that is, if you have the brains and the courage to take it.’_

James shuddered. Voldemort had been asking him to join him. _There is power_. He felt ashamed to admit that it had sounded almost seductive to him. Surely there wasn’t a single bone in his body that was tempted to follow Voldemort’s twisted path! The idea was treacherous. 

He had made it quite clear where he stood, though. Before Dumbledore had arrived to save the day, he had at least left Voldemort with no doubt that he, James Potter, would never be one of his minions. 

He wouldn’t tell Lily about all that now, though. Maybe another time, if it ever came up … Now, she was breathing hard, staring through blank eyes that saw nothing, her fists clenched, clearly wracked with grief over Zinnia’s death – a death that she thought she could have prevented. 

_Lily_ , he thought, _if you had stopped it, you would have paid with your own life._ It was a horrible thing, to be thankful that it was Zinnia, and not Lily who had died. James felt terribly guilty, even thinking it. But he couldn’t help being thankful that Lily was here now, still alive. 

He stayed in the hospital wing for the rest of the night, under the Invisibility Cloak, holding Lily’s hand until she unclenched her fist and relaxed, her fingers entwining with his as she fell asleep again. 


	12. 12 Rising Stronger

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER TWELVE:** **Rising Stronger**

_February through March, 1977_

Madam Pomfrey said that she’d regain her sight – eventually, and she was taking six potions a day to heal her damaged nerves. In the meantime, Lily just had to put up with being blind. Those were Madam Pomfrey’s exact words: ‘I’m sorry, Miss Evans, but you’ll just have to put up with being blind for some time.’ 

It was a comforting thought to know that her condition was only temporary. But the pervasive darkness was extremely spirit-dampening. Eyes open or eyes closed, it didn’t make much of a difference to her – all she saw was black. 

‘I’m honoured,’ Sirius was wont to say when she mentioned this. 

Remus assured her, however, that they at least could see the difference when she moved her eyelids. 

‘We can still see your eyes.’ 

‘But they’re kind of vacant,’ Peter pointed out matter-of-factly. ‘Like you’re not all there.’ 

Remus and Sirius took it upon them to clap a hand over his mouth and drag him out of the room – at least, that was what it sounded like. 

‘They’re still beautiful,’ said James softly. ‘Pretty and green.’ He reached out and took her hand. It was these gestures Lily was most grateful for. Human contact, the sense of touch, was the one thing that made her feel connected to everyone else, now that she could see nothing. 

The worst thing about blindness was the amount of time available for thinking. Lily wasn’t against retrospect in general, but when there seemed to be hours on hand just to mull over things that had already happened, it was more of trying to shut her mind against the barrage of memories that assaulted her. 

She let some of them in, though. Happy thoughts, of her younger days with her family when they were children. Her first year at Hogwarts. Charms class, when she’d first levitated a feather. Laughing with Aura, before she had lost her. How James and Sirius had levitated water balloons over the Slytherins, drenching them with cold water – and, she suspected, other more viscous fluids. 

They talked about past pranks when they visited her as a group – Sirius describing them with great gusto, James adding details here and there, Peter cutting in occasionally to refresh their memories about the finer aspects of their escapades, and Remus correcting them dryly when their exaggerations got _too_ wild. 

Sometimes they came alone. Remus read to her from Muggle novels, Sirius always had a scrumptious snack – he’d make her guess what it was before giving it to her – and a ready joke, Peter – well, he came alone once. He hadn’t really known what to say, so she’d asked him to get her a drink and he’d gratefully done so and continued to wait on her until James came along. 

She had other visitors too – Alice and Dorcas and even students from the other houses, whom she knew only vaguely. All were cheery, brought gifts and sweets and wished Lily well, but made no mention of Hogsmeade. No one spoke about Hogsmeade. It was as though they’d reached an unspoken consensus not to discuss the attack – yet. 

James was the one that didn’t do anything particularly special for her. And yet, did the most. 

He asked her questions. About herself mostly – her life before Hogwarts, what she remembered about their first few years at Hogwarts … 

And she told him. About old games she used to play with Petunia, visits to her Gran in Hampshire – which was where James lived, actually – when she was little, the first wandless magic she’d done, what it was like going to a Muggle school. James held her hand the whole time, and she almost thought she could _feel_ his expressions. Once, he stayed until she fell asleep, like the first night – she supposed she was napping, since Madam Pomfrey hadn’t chased him away. It wasn’t as though she could tell the difference between night and day anyway. He was still there when she awoke, fingers entwined around hers. 

‘You can take off the Cloak now, James,’ said Remus in amusement. ‘In fact, you’d better, before Madam Pomfrey comes in and finds a black head sticking out of nowhere.’ 

James moaned sleepily and let go of her hand. So it had been night, and he’d been under the Invisibility Cloak. 

‘There’s a present for you, Lily,’ continued Remus cheerfully. 

‘Oh?’ 

‘That’s right,’ said James, sounding very awake all of a sudden. ‘Where is it, Peter?’ 

‘The _present_ is having a bit of trouble getting here without the Cloak, James,’ said Peter pointedly. 

‘Oh – bugger I forgot – here, take it.’ There were sounds of an object being thrown across the room. Lily could hear footsteps leaving right after. 

‘What’s going on?’ 

‘Er – we made something to explain it to you. You’ve got to read this,’ said James, thrusting what felt like a card into her hands. 

‘James, I think you’re forgetting that I can’t exactly _read_.’ 

‘Don’t worry, just open the card and you’ll see,’ said Remus patiently. 

Curious, Lily felt for the edges of the card and carefully opened it 

‘Is this working?’ asked Sirius. Lily frowned. His voice sounded oddly distant. 

‘Of course it’s working, get on with it, Padfoot!’ hissed James. 

‘Oh. Right – er – hey, Lily, James is –’ There were muffled sounds of a scuffle in the background. 

‘Okay, that’s the last time I let Sirius be the first to try something like this,’ said Remus. ‘Sorry, Lily. Well, you’ve probably guessed that this is supposed to be a talking card.' 

‘Since you can’t read a normal one,’ called Peter helpfully. The squeal and banging noises that ensued suggested that he’d joined the tussle between James and Sirius. 

‘Yes – er – well, this card is supposed to be the introduction to what we planned for you.’ 

‘I’d like to say now that it was _my_ idea!’ Sirius cut in. 

‘Stroke of brilliance, that was, Padfoot,’ snorted James. ‘How’d you like to get up, Lily, and get out of the hospital wing?’ 

‘With a guide, of course. I’m sure you’ve heard of guide animals – blind Muggles have them.’ 

Lily started as a very wet, moving thing was suddenly thrust into her hands. It sniffed at her and she realised it was an animal – a dog, to be specific. Slowly, she ran her hands over its ears in wonder. 

‘Oh my God, I … I don’t know what to say, guys.’ 

‘Thank you?’ said Peter. 

‘Thank you. I just – you got this dog for me?’ 

‘Ah – he’s actually borrowed,’ said Remus. ‘I’m afraid you won’t be able to keep him. But he _can_ take you out for a walk.’ 

‘I think – I think I’d like that.’ 

‘Oh no you don’t! Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew! How in heaven you managed to sneak a great hulking animal like that in here I don’t know, but you will have him _out_ now!’ 

‘Madam Pomfrey, couldn’t we at least take Lily out? It’s a guide dog! He’s perfectly sanitary!’ 

‘I don’t care if it’s a circus-performing dog, I want it _out_ of my infirmary immediately!’ 

‘Madam Pomfrey,’ said Remus reasonably. ‘Muggles have guide dogs for blind people, it’s just a walk to get her out of here for a while, she can’t lie in bed all day long …’ 

‘Well – I –’ Madam Pomfrey had a soft spot for Remus. 

‘Please, Madam Pomfrey?’ said Lily. ‘I won’t get into trouble.’ 

‘All right. Just for five minutes. Five minutes, I say – no more! And don’t bring that beast in again!’ 

But her voice was drowned out in cheers as James rushed forward to help Lily out of bed. The dog nuzzled her hang again. 

‘His name is – er –’ 

‘Snuffles,’ said Remus. 

‘Yeah, Snuffles,’ agreed James. 

Snuffles made a noise that sounded like a whine and a snort combined. Lily rubbed behind his ears and he barked happily. 

Peter handed her the leash, and Snuffles tugged on it, at the other end. Slowly, she moved forward, unsure of herself now that she was actually walking without seeing anything. Snuffles seemed to understand her fear, and he went at her pace, by her side. 

‘Straight corridor, nothing in the way,’ said Remus gently. ‘Just trust him – and us.’ 

Lily nodded and tried to walk faster. They must have reached the end of the corridor, because Snuffles gave a jerk to the right. She turned to follow him. The others kept up a continuous chorus about their location – the corridor outside the hospital wing, opening up into the main hallway, near the marble staircase. 

‘Where would you like to go, Lily?’ said James, when Snuffles stopped her from crashing into the stairs. 

‘Oh, I can’t decide. It’s good enough to be out of bed after being in it for a week! Let’s see … how about the common room?’ 

‘Gryffindor Tower, it is, then,’ said Remus, a little dubious at the thought of all the stairs. 

Snuffles barked confidently. 

‘A flight of stairs, now, the marble staircase, you know,’ said James. ‘Watch your step, now.’ 

Cautiously, she lifted her foot and found the first step. Then the second. And the third. She went on, following the lead of her friend’s voices and Snuffles’s tugs on the leash. 

‘Where’s Sirius, by the way?’ she asked, realising that Sirius’s voice had not been heard. 

‘He’s – er –’ 

‘Working,’ said Remus calmly. 

‘Working?’ 

‘To pay off Snuffles.’ 

‘Oh, remind me to thank him,’ said Lily. 

‘I’m sure he already knows,’ said Peter cryptically. 

They arrived at the common room and James gave the password, then helped Lily – practically lifting her off the ground – through the portrait hole. 

The strange thing about losing one’s eyesight is that the other senses become keener. Though Lily could not see the details of the common room, it was delightful just to feel the warmth of the fire in the hearth heating up her skin, hear the coals crackle and footsteps pad on the carpet. She could even smell the scent of parchment – someone must be working at a table near them, because she could hear the scratching of a quill – perfume and wood. 

She stood with her hand on Snuffles and breathed in deeply for a long time. 

~ * ~ 

Drucilla Malfoy was expelled. The Malfoys had money and connections. But Dumbledore was adamant. She had intentionally used a curse against a fellow student which thereby almost resulted in the death of said student. 

Lily didn’t know what to think of the matter. A rumour later passed around the school that there was more to Drucilla’s expulsion. Apparently (or so the rumours went), she had been involved in the orchestrating of the attack. How or even if this was possible no one was exactly sure. 

Hogwarts held a memorial service for Zinnia Prewett, a week after her death. She’d died bravely, Professor Dumbledore had said. As a prefect, she’d helped to herd the other students back to the school. 

She’d died running, thought Lily. It couldn’t have been what she’d wanted. And the sickening thought crossed her mind again: what if she’d stepped out, into the way of that curse? 

Zinnia might be alive. She, Lily, might be dead. 

‘All the prefects in Hogsmeade on that day, in fact,’ Dumbledore was saying, ‘should be commended. If not for their selfless thinking and quick action, it is likely that we would have lost more than a single student.’ 

Lily pictured herself back in the cave. She could see Zinnia running in, the green light that swiftly followed, herself putting up the shield charm, the light blasting through … 

Her mind knew that she couldn’t possibly have done anything more. 

But still, she couldn’t help thinking, _What if?_

Dumbledore was speaking about Zinnia again: ‘– a cherished friend, respected classmate, a role model; a brave and honest young witch who should not have perished so young. Let us now observe a moment of silence, in honour of Zinnia’s memory.’ 

Lily closed her eyes. 

_Forgive me, Zinnia_ , she thought silently. 

~ * ~ 

Lily’s sight was improving. The pervading darkness finally gave way to a foggy grey. Madam Pomfrey was pleased; she announced that by the end of March, Lily would be able to see well enough to leave the hospital wing permanently. This sparked off a bit of a debate about whether blind people could study magic, until Remus pointed out that blindness wasn’t an incurable condition with modern magic, and that magical eyes had been available in place of lost real eyes for three decades. 

As Remus was the only one of them who still took History of Magic (besides Peter, who didn’t argue), they took his word for it. 

February passed in a whirl of voices and slowly lightening grey cloud. Her friends had taken to popping in at all times of the day. Lily had begun to learn how to tell the time just by hearing the voice that came through the door. 

Morning was started with Madam Pomfrey bustling about. Sirius, always full of energy, which came out in his speech, was apt to drop by near lunch time. Remus’s voice carried a quiet calm, and he usually came round with Peter, Dorcas and Alice when the others were in Care of Magical Creatures. 

Then there were her friends from other houses. Chris and Stella came infrequently, it was true, but it was comforting to know that they did think of her sometimes. 

There was one person, though, who was constantly around. 

Lily didn’t know how he did it; between every class, James managed to come by the infirmary. Sometimes he was panting as he called out, ‘All right, Lily?’ before leaving again. When he had a break, he stayed and read out bits of the lessons she was missing and the homework the teachers had set, for her to think about after he left. At first, it hadn’t been easy to concentrate on the concepts he was expounding without any form of visual aid, but slowly, the words began to make sense to her, and she found she could focus on the questions he’d asked even when she was alone. 

It was strange, how she was starting to depend on his always being there. Thanks to James, she wasn’t falling too far behind in class. Thanks to James, she didn’t have much time alone to brood. Thanks to James, escorting her, she could attend Prefect meetings and she didn’t have to do any paperwork. Thanks to James, who stayed with her some nights, as though sensing that her mind was troubled, she wasn’t plagued with nightmares. 

She owed him so much now, and she feared he would want something back from her. She _knew_ she couldn’t in good conscience refuse any favour he asked of her after he had done all this. But she didn’t know if she could truly give him what he wanted of her. 

Yet, she trusted that James wouldn’t ask more of her than she could give. 

That was the difference, wasn’t it? 

She had come to trust him. 

~ * ~ 

The change was amazing. Professor McGonagall felt it necessary to sink into her seat for a few moments after the seventh-year Transfiguration class had left, just to marvel at it. And it wasn’t just a one-time occurrence; they’d been this way for an entire month. 

James Potter and Sirius Black were finally _working_. 

Professor McGonagall found it difficult to shake off her old image of the two most notable trouble-makers in school. From first through fifth year, although a healthy level of fear had kept them from disrupting her class (save several small-scale pranks which had earned them week-long detentions each time), they had never been the type to work hard. 

Remus Lupin had, and Peter Pettigrew – they were the serious workers in the group, but neither could come up to Potter and Black’s brilliance. The latter pair produced acceptable work effortlessly, but could never be bothered to try harder. Even in O.W.L.s year, when they could have easily achieved Outstanding in every single subject they took, they blew it off and even failed History of Magic appallingly. 

Sixth year and the impending N.E.W.T.s hadn’t changed them. After Christmas, they’d been less boisterous, but this hadn’t translated to a focus in their work. This year, they’d been attentive enough, except for that period in time when Lily Evans had returned from Christmas break an orphan and a wreck – then all of them had been that close to sleeping through their classes, not that she blamed them. But they hadn’t been exceptional, up till now. 

Every teacher in the school knew well that James Potter was not only putting effort into his work, but diligently helping to tutor Lily Evans in his free time. He was scribbling madly as he took notes every lesson, asking brilliant questions that left the teachers dumbfounded in their attempt to answer sometimes (‘I’ll check that up for you’ was becoming a common phrase in class) … it was really quite extraordinary. And the best of it was that with Sirius Black following his lead, the seventh-year classes were becoming much more stimulating to teach. 

Professor McGonagall wondered if she should mention this to Dumbledore. But then, she thought, he probably knew it all – and worse still, had even anticipated it. 

Yes, she could just imagine his eyes twinkling along with that infuriating smile that said he’d known all along James Potter would live up to his potential. 

Well, she conceded, he _had_ chosen him as Head Boy. 


	13. 13 Development

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN:** **Development**

_May, 1977_

‘Prongs. Hey, Prongs.’ 

James heard Sirius, but he didn’t turn his head. He was watching Lily study at her table across the room. Ever since her sight and strength had been fully regained, she had thrown herself into work with fervour, determined to catch up. Sadly, it hadn’t been enough. She had been forced to drop Care of Magical Creatures to lighten her load. 

‘Oi, Potter.’ Sirius threw a fallen pawn at him. It hit him square in the jaw. 

‘Ow!’ James drew his eyes back to his best friend with lightning speed. ‘What was that for?’ 

‘I’ve been trying to get you to turn, you berk. It’s your turn.’ 

‘Huh? Oh.’ James studied the chess board. ‘Er ...’ He thought a few moments, then advanced a knight. 

‘Bad move, James,’ Peter observed. ‘You’re leaving your king open to attack.’ 

‘Hey, shut it, Wormtail. You can’t take it back, Prongs, that’s not fair!’ 

‘You’re just scared you’re going to lose,’ laughed James. 

‘Not a chance, Potter. Go ahead, choose another move. I’ll still beat you in the end … if Peter keeps his mouth shut from now on.’ 

‘Care to challenge me after?’ grinned Peter. 

‘We’ll see about that. Got to show Potter here what’s what first.’ 

‘You won’t sound so confident when I’ve got you cornered, Black.’ 

Ten minutes later, James’s mind was wandering again. His eyes seemed to travel of their own accord to the corner where Lily was hard at work. 

‘Don’t say anything this time, Peter,’ warned Sirius, before calling out to him. ‘Oi, Potter. It’s your turn again. Put your eyes back in.’ 

‘You took infernally long on your move,’ grumbled James. He carelessly moved his queen two steps forward. Peter obediently held his silence. Sirius grinned. 

‘Oh, that’s going to hurt.’ It took only a minute for James to lose spectacularly. 

‘Tough luck, Potter. You know, it helps to keep these –’ he pointed to his eyes ‘– on the game instead of mooning over Evans.’ 

James threw a cushion at him. Sirius caught it deftly and sent it back. Lily chose that moment to glance in their direction. Sirius flashed her a large grin and a wave, and she shook her head back at him. But her eyes lingered briefly on James before she returned to her work. James knew his face was pink. 

‘Go on,’ said Sirius. ‘She could do with some company while I thrash Pete here.’ 

‘Not a chance,’ Peter shot his own words back at him. ‘Get ready to be demolished, Padfoot.’ 

By the time they’d set up the chess board, James was across the room.

~ * ~ 

James took a seat in front of her. Lily’s quill stopped moving, poised in the middle of a sentence for two seconds before she looked up. 

‘Aren’t you playing chess?’ 

James shrugged. ‘I lost.’ 

‘I see.’ Lily glanced down at her work again. She was halfway through her Potions essay, and suddenly she couldn’t remember what came next. 

_Mandrakes may be considered as a controversial potions ingredient, lethal when one is exposed to their cries, yet an essential ingredient in the_

Lily had known what was coming next – the name of the Healing Potion, only it suddenly slipped her mind. 

‘Mandrake Restorative Draft,’ supplied James. 

‘Er, yeah. Thanks.’ Lily wrote it down quickly. _Mandrake Restorative Draft_. 

‘I’m not bothering you, am I?’ 

_Yes you are_ , she thought. _I can’t think when you’re staring at me. And can someone tell me why I don’t want you to go away even though that’s so?_

‘No,’ she said shortly. ‘I’m finishing soon, anyway.’ 

James cast a sceptical look at the stack of books beside her. Lily saw it and smiled. 

‘That’s the finished pile. Transfiguration, Charms, Arithmancy and Herbology. When I’m done with this Potions essay, I’ll just have Defence, and that’s all. I’m glad I decided to drop Care of Magical Creatures.’ 

James nodded. ‘It’s amazing you’ve been able to do so much.’ 

‘Well, it’s been an awful month. But you’ve helped me, and I wasn’t so far behind as I thought when I went back. And you’ve done so much for all the prefect meetings, I haven’t had any paperwork to do. Thanks, you know? I thought I might have to step down when everything happened – but … well, just thanks.’ 

‘Happy to be of service.’ 

Lily smiled at him, and tried once again to return to her essay. If she concentrated hard, she could continue it. James, thankfully, took down her Transfiguration book from the pile and started skimming through the back pages. 

She finished her Potions essay, and started on Defence. It was an easy essay, revision on sixth-year work, and she was soon putting a full stop to her last sentence, full of relief that she had finally managed to get back on track with all her work. 

‘Finished?’ 

‘Yeah.’ Lily couldn’t help beaming at him. 

‘That’s great.’ 

‘What time is it?’ 

‘One, I think. You ought to get some sleep.’ 

‘And you don’t?’ 

‘Point taken.’ 

‘Are you going?’ 

‘When you do.’ 

She opened her mouth to tell him she was going to bed now, but then she found herself asking, ‘What do you want, James?’ 

‘Sorry?’ 

‘Why – you’ve done all this, read me my work, managed the prefect stuff, helped me catch up. I mean, I’m really grateful and everything, I know you’ve got your own stuff, and Quidditch and all and it’s amazing you can do all this …’ She was rambling. ‘I mean, why did you? I don’t know what you want from me.’ It sounded so petty. She’d made it sound like a transaction. Lily felt like hitting herself for bringing it up. 

James stared at her curiously. ‘I don’t know,’ he said simply. ‘I just wanted to, I suppose. And it felt like the right thing to do. I’m sorry if it was awkward for you or anything –’ 

‘No – I didn’t mean that. I just – it was really wonderful of you. It’s just that – I don’t know if I can give you what you want in return.’ She couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. It was the closest she’d come to acknowledging how he felt about her. 

‘You don’t have to give me anything.’ He said it in a quiet, resigned tone. ‘I’m happy to help you, that’s all. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready to do.’ 

She could feel his stare intently, even though she wasn’t looking. She didn’t dare look up, to meet his gaze. There was a small explosion in the pit of her stomach, as she realised that James understood her better than she thought. And she did care about him, didn’t she? 

It should have been quite simple to look up, smile and tell him she could return his feelings. But she was confused. 

‘I – I think I’m going to bed now.’ Lily stood, still staring at her feet. 

‘Sure.’ James helped her stack her books so she could carry them back up to her dormitory and walked with her to the stairs. She looked at him then, and set her books on the ground. 

‘I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what I feel.’ 

‘It’s OK.’ He smiled sadly at her. ‘Seriously. I don’t want to force you into anything.’ 

Lily stepped closer to him and gently wrapped her arms around him. ‘I’m confused.’ 

James engulfed her in a big hug. ‘Don’t think about me, OK? Good night.’ 

She nodded. ‘Thanks, James. Good night.’ 

~ * ~ 

In light of everything that had happened and the workload that Lily was facing, Professor Flitwick had offered to put their private Charms sessions on indefinite postponement. Lily, however, had refused. It was the one thing that she was certain to be of use in the very near future. 

Also, her progress in this lesson, at least, was not hampered by the long break she had taken. 

‘It’s an innate ability you have, Miss Evans. We built the foundation before Christmas,’ explained Professor Flitwick. ‘And this –’ he gestured at the visible web of _Expecto Patronum_ that Lily had successfully created and maintained for five minutes. ‘This is simply the beginning. We are working with the rudimentary spellcraft, the steps that could lead to the creation of new charms.’ 

‘I don’t understand, Professor. Aren’t new spells being developed all the time?’ Severus Snape, Lily knew for a fact, had created any number of new spells of his own. 

‘ _Spells_ , certainly,’ said Professor Flitwick, almost haughtily. ‘And _curses_. Anyone working with Dark magic can come up with new ways to harm and hurt. But this, Lily – this magic is to help and heal. You will be able to play with the threads of magic itself, to manipulate these charms and construct new ones whose basis is emotion. You understand, of course, that the strongest charms –’ 

‘Take their strength from the caster’s emotion. But Professor, so do curses – the Unforgivables, for example. Are you saying that I could tamper with those?’ 

‘I hope you are not thinking of messing with Unforgivable Curses, Miss Evans. Those three curses are the only Dark magic that plays upon human emotion for their power. However, they draw strength from our darker side – hatred. I’m sure you’ve heard of the phrase “there’s a thin line between love and hate”.’ 

Lily thought suddenly of James and how she’d hated him for so long. 

_I don’t_ love _him, though,_ she protested in her mind. 

‘Nevertheless, I trust you will not fall into the temptation of using the Unforgivables. No matter what happens to you. Dark magic has a way of making us lose ourselves in its power.’ Professor Flitwick looked more serious than Lily had ever seen him. She hastened to reassure him. 

‘I’m not planning to use Dark magic, Professor. I promise.’ 

‘Returning to our earlier discussion, then,’ said Professor Flitwick, looking relieved, ‘the Patronus, for example, is a personification of joy. And what you have just revealed, and may begin to dissect and reassemble, is the raw material of the Patronus Charm. You are, in essence, playing with joy itself.’ 

Lily could not help but look at her wand in wonder. When Mr Ollivander had sold it to her, telling her that it would be perfect for Charm work, had he known its capacity to do this? 

‘Miss Evans, it is not the wand that provides this ability, it is you,’ said Professor Flitwick, correctly interpreting her action. ‘Although Ollivander would say it’s the wand that chooses the wizard – witch, I mean.’ 

He ended their lesson with that quote, and left Lily deep in thought in the classroom. 

She was thinking about the Unforgivable Curses again. Certainly, she felt no inclination whatsoever to use them – control, torture and death were tools that her mind rebelled naturally against. But an idea had sprouted in her mind. 

_‘_ _Are you saying that I could tamper with them?’_

_‘I hope you are not thinking of messing with Unforgivable Curses.’_

Professor Flitwick, of course, had misinterpreted her. He thought she had meant to try them, to satiate a curiosity. Or to use its raw materials in spellcraft (a scary thought, for what other horrible curse could be built up from hatred?) 

But Lily wanted to reverse the Unforgivables. 

Particularly, _Avada Kedavra_. 

The Imperius and Cruciatius were both horrible, of course, but they could be fought, or blocked. The killing curse could not. It was unblockable, irreversible; the green light that had sliced through her Shield Charm and the dull thump that followed cemented this firmly in Lily’s mind. 

She knew, of course, that she couldn’t possibly create a counter-curse for death. No spell could re-awaken the dead. The finality of the killing curse was something that she couldn’t change. However, did _Avada Kedavra_ have to be unblockable? 

What if she could build a shield that would protect one against the killing curse? 

_This_ was how she wanted to fight Voldemort. Not by violence, but by defence. By building Charms to keep people safe from Voldemort. 

First, though, she had to understand the killing curse before she could oppose it. Lily cast a wary glance around. It would be too easy for people to get the wrong idea if they walked in on her meddling with the killing curse in the room. 

‘ _Colloportus_!’ She sealed the door shut. Trembling slightly, she raised her wand. 

‘ _Revelio Avada Kedavra_!’ Lily shut her eyes, not sure she wanted to see what horrible image the killing curse might take. After a moment, she opened them gingerly. 

Nothing. There was no spell web, terrifying or otherwise. It hadn’t worked. 

Lily lowered her wand, half-disappointed, half-relieved. She couldn’t work on _Avada Kedavra_ after all. 

Maybe Professor Flitwick was right: she shouldn’t try. She didn’t even know what would have happened if she had succeeded – what if the curse had been so large that it filled the room … she might have accidentally killed herself! Lily cursed herself for being so careless. 

She was shaking as she unlocked the door, put out the lights and left the classroom. 

 

_**A/N** : And we have a date! Five and a half more months to go before the release of _Deathly Hallows _, and my goal now is to finish this so that it doens’t end up A/U before I do. I therefore owe enormous thanks to my beta, **jamc91** , for gamely taking up the challenge with me. Our goal now is a chapter a week, and I sincerely hope to deliver! Thank you all for your reviews and encouragement – it’s the fuel that keeps me going!_


	14. 14 A Pivotal Moment

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER FOURTEEN:** **A Pivotal Moment**

_June, 1977_

The end of the year was coming. Gryffindor won the Quidditch finals. James and Sirius saw their names on the Hogwarts Quidditch trophy for the last time. Both knew that it was going to be the last game they played in a long while. 

The seventh-years received their exam timetables, along with a short letter informing them that they would have to go to the Wizarding Examinations Board Headquarters in London to take their N.E.W.T.s. 

The common room was a flurry of revision. First-years panicked over the thought that they’d be expelled if they failed (it was a common delusion among all first-years). Fifth-years panicked about their O.W.L.s. The seventh-years might have panicked over their N.E.W.T.s, only with Voldemort out in the world, its importance was diminished. There was an unspoken common goal among them – fight Voldemort first. Everything else, later. 

Perhaps, in another lifetime, they might have had a more promising future. Who knew which of them might have the chance to be a famous wizarding musician; a Quidditch star; an acclaimed wizarding author … Now, they were standing on the edge of a crevasse, ready to tumble down any moment as they geared up for battle. 

They were a generation putting their dreams on hold to join the fight in the war raging outside their school. 

~ * ~ 

The N.E.W.T.s spanned over two weeks. On the first of June, the seventh-years took the Hogwarts Express to London. They registered themselves at the Wizarding Examinations Board Headquarters at the Ministry of Magic that very evening, and settled into the dormitories where they would be staying for the duration of the exam. Their accommodation was, Lily considered, a far cry from the comfort they had always enjoyed at Hogwarts. Whilst the dormitories were clean and neat, they were plain and gave off the message that they were only temporary. Five to a room, boys and girls separately, and they were grouped by alphabetical order, along with private or foreign students. Lily was number eight, and therefore found herself with Stella Engle, two Hufflepuffs and a Spanish girl. 

The boys had less favourable rooming arrangements, however. Remus, of course, would be fine anywhere you put him, but James and Sirius were less easy-going. Barely five minutes into their stay, Chris Berguise and a Ravenclaw boy already had to pull Sirius and Slytherin Quidditch captain Theseus Baddock away from a duel. And James and Peter were rooming with Severus Snape. No matter how James had changed over the past year, it was still a volatile arrangement, and Lily hoped they would survive the week. When the Gryffindors came together for dinner, she noticed that James looked a little messier than usual, and Snape’s ears, though he was too far away to tell properly, seemed to be twitching quite a bit. 

As far as she knew, James and Snape hadn’t come to blows or curses in the recent past – certainly they had maintained a tense civility every time she saw them in contact. She was fairly certain that James hadn’t sought out Snape to make trouble for over a year now. But Lily figured that there was probably more to it than what she could observe, and decided for the first time that maybe she’d be better staying out of it after all. 

They had their first exam, Potions, on Tuesday. Just as during their O.W.L.s, the theory paper was conducted in the morning, with the practical following in the afternoon. Wednesday was History of Magic and Muggle Studies. Lily, James, and Peter took neither, and spent the morning quizzing Sirius (Lily suspected after the session that he knew more about Muggle transportation than she). Remus returned in the afternoon, and he and Lily hit the books together for Thursday’s exams. 

Lily felt she’d managed her Arithmancy exam on Thursday morning well, and they took over James and Peter’s dormitory in the afternoon to study Charms, as the other boys rooming with them were taking their Ancient Runes exam. 

At the end of the first week of exams, nobody really wanted to spend all weekend in the dormitories studying, so they took their notes to Diagon Alley and revised in Florean Fortescue’s. 

The last week of exams started off with Defence Against the Dark Arts. Lily began to count down the days to the end. Transfiguration on Wednesday, Herbology on Thursday. No one took Divination, meaning there would be a full day on Friday for them to celebrate. 

The final few days were tough ones. Lily felt that the successful production of a Patronus during the Defence practical might secure her an Exceeding Expectations at least in the subject. However, she was less confident in the Transfiguration exam, where she had been stumped by a particularly tricky theory question. Herbology was not her strong point, and she struggled with the last paper, trying to keep the properties of the magical plants she’d studied straight in her mind. 

And finally, when they completed a long three hours in the Wizarding Examinations Board Greenhouse, it was over! The end of the exams brought a mixture of euphoria and apprehension – they had taken their N.E.W.T.s, and though that signified the conclusion of formal schooling, it meant that the time for them to leave Hogwarts was nearer than ever before. 

_And after we leave …_ Lily thought with a shiver, but dared not complete that thought. 

After their final Herbology exam, Sirius suggested they roam Muggle London for a pub. Feeling a little high at the thought that their exams were over, they did so, and James got spectacularly drunk, to Sirius’s (and Peter’s, as he had taken care not to exceed his limit, and was pleased not to be the butt of the joke for once) amusement, and Remus and Lily’s chagrin. 

They returned to Hogwarts the night N.E.W.T.s was officially over. The Hogwarts Express left King’s Cross at eleven – only at night, instead of in the morning. Lily couldn’t shake off the thought that she would never be catching the train from platform nine-and-three-quarters again; the next time they were on the Hogwarts Express would be their last. 

The others fell asleep as the train winded through Scotland. Peter was leaning slightly against Sirius, whose head was lolling forward. Remus was snoozing silently in the opposite corner. James was next to Lily, his eyes closed but his posture straight. Lily wondered if he was really asleep. 

‘James?’ she tried softly. His eyes opened and looked at her. 

‘Not taking a rest?’ he asked her. 

Lily shook her head mutely, and stared out the window. There wasn’t much to see; it was all dark outside. 

‘We’re done with school,’ she said quietly. ‘Does that scare you?’ 

‘Leaving Hogwarts, you mean?’ 

‘Yeah.’ 

‘I wish time would slow down now, if you know what I mean? Hogwarts – well, Hogwarts is like home. I can’t imagine leaving it. And yet we’re going to, so soon.’ 

‘I wish we didn’t have to.’ Lily could feel the tears pricking her eyes as she sighed. It was odd; she rarely cried. ‘We’re going to fight now. It’s – I don’t know. I want to, and yet I’m afraid.’ 

‘I think we all are, Lily. But we’re going to do it anyway.’ 

She could hear the wisdom in his voice – it was really something short of a miracle that he’d got so serious and _mature_ in such a short period of time – and she knew what he was saying was what she thought as well deep down inside. Lily leant against his shoulder, thinking about Hogwarts and Gryffindor, and all her seven years at school. Closing her eyes, she remembered a nervous eleven-year-old girl sitting in a train compartment – why, it could even be this very one! – and suddenly a wave of nostalgia hit her. 

‘You changed a lot, James, do you know that? And at the same time, not at all.’ 

‘What do you mean by that?’ 

‘Remember when we first came to Hogwarts? And we met on this train …’ 

James laughed. ‘Your first meeting with Sirius.’ 

‘Yeah.’ Lily smiled, reminiscing. ‘I thought he was awful. And you were awfully nice.’ 

‘Was I, now? Why couldn’t you have thought that three years later?’ 

‘Because you _were_ awful then.’ 

‘Thanks very much. That hurts, you know?’ But his tone was playful. James clearly knew that her opinion had changed. 

‘Well, I’m sure you thought I was a bit of a nuisance, getting you into trouble the first time we met.’

‘I was bound to get into trouble sooner or later. Might as well be over a pretty girl.’ 

Lily sat up and gave him a stern look. ‘You didn’t think that then.’ 

‘OK. I didn’t. Sorry. But I didn’t think you were a nuisance. Really. I was just …’ James screwed up his face, trying to remember. ‘Just angry at Sirius and his family, you know? Because I had this vengeance against the Dark Arts sort of people.’ 

‘Is it because of your sister?’ 

James sat bolt upright. Remus, as though sensing the movement, snorted in his sleep. 

‘Who told you about my sister?’ In the dim light, his face seemed to be set in stone. His voice was tight and fierce, and Lily felt a chill at how much anger he still seemed to hold inside him. 

‘Hagrid. He – he didn’t say much, though. Just that you had one, and she died.’ James was silent, and Lily sensed that he didn’t want to talk about it. ‘Never mind,’ she said, ‘I know it hurts.’ She thought of Petunia, and how they hadn’t spoken for months, how Petunia was probably pretending now that Lily didn’t exist. When she left Hogwarts, she was going to find Petunia, she decided. It couldn’t just end between them like that. 

‘Lily?’ James finally said. 

‘Yeah?’ ‘Do you want to hear about her?’ His tone was reluctant. Lily knew he would explain things to her if she asked, but he was hoping not to have to. Not now. 

‘It’s OK. You don’t have to. Not until you’re ready.’ 

James smiled and closed his hand over hers briefly. A soft squeeze – Lily understood it as a ‘thank you’, and he let go – not holding on for longer than necessary, not taking advantage of the moment. Still respecting her. Lily found herself wondering again if she could actually give him what he sorely wanted, but would not ask for. 

_Not until you’re ready_. James’s face seemed to echo her own words back at her. 

Lily was surprised to search herself and find that maybe she _was_ ready. 

~ * ~ 

The last prefect meeting was held a week before they were to leave school for ever. There wasn’t much to discuss: simple end-of-term matters, brief notes about prefect duty in the last weeks of school, some friendly discussion about who might succeed the Head Boy and Girl. All the same, the hour flew by, and then Lily suddenly found that the last meeting she would preside over as Head Girl of Hogwarts had come to a close. 

James stood at the end of it all, and looked around the room. 

‘I’ve got something to say to all of you,’ he said slowly. ‘It won’t take long.’ 

The other prefects watched him expectantly. Cassius Meliflua’s icy eyes were disdainful, and he looked very much as though he would like to walk out, but James met his cold gaze with a fiery one, and he remained seated. 

‘I know at the start of the year, none of you wanted me standing here. To tell the truth, I didn’t want myself here either. I don’t know if I’ve convinced any of you that I should still be standing here, but I’m proud that I’ve at least survived my term. I’ve really tried to do my best, and I know everyone knows that. I want to thank you – Remus, Chris, Dionysus – the three of you should have had the chance to be in my position, but you put aside your resentment to help me.’ He glanced at Meliflua briefly; the Slytherin made no mention of James’s omission, but glared back with stony eyes. 

 ‘Next year you sixth-years will take our place. Benjy, Bernard, Anthony … Evan –’ he nodded towards each of them in turn, although he hesitated a bit over the Slytherin prefect, ‘I don’t know which of you will be Head Boy. The same goes for the girls. But I know whoever it is will probably do a marvellous job because I have faith in Dumbledore’s choices. 

‘The lot of us seventh-years is going to leave Hogwarts shortly. We won’t be able ignore the world out there any more, and we shouldn’t. I know I’m going to do my part. And I hope all of you will help me too. 

‘Er …’ he faltered then, dropping his confident tone, ‘that’s all I have to say.’ He shrugged and looked round again. ‘Thanks again. And thanks, Lily, for being my guide to the job when I first took it.’ 

He was about to sit down, when Dionysus McKinnon stood and held out his hand. 

‘James – you did well this year. Dumbledore wasn’t wrong to choose you after all.’ 

The boys shook hands, and Lily could tell how much it meant to both of them to realise that. 

With a final thank-you and farewell, she concluded her last prefect meeting. Several of her fellow prefects came up to her before leaving; Stella Engle gave her a warm hug; she shook hands Chris Berguise; Mareta Quimble whispered, ‘You did a good job, Lily;’ even a Slytherin prefect – fifth-year Estella Crouch – graced her with a cool nod and a quick smile. 

She and James were the last to leave the room again. He watched as she put out the lights and closed the door behind them. 

‘Our last meeting,’ she said. 

‘I can’t say I’ll miss being Head Boy, actually,’ said James frankly. ‘I was always scared I’d screw up and do it all wrong. I mean – what was Dumbledore thinking? Sirius and I hold the records for the most number of detentions in the school!’ 

‘I think he knew that this year, someone who could change was needed,’ she told him. ‘And you proved him right.’ 

James met her eyes gratefully. ‘Do you really think so?’ 

Lily nodded firmly, studying his face carefully as she did so. His expression now was particularly endearing: his hazel eyes were hopeful, with a hint of pride; his mouth lopsidedly half-smiling; there was a slight twitch of his nose. ‘I’m glad he did choose you,’ she murmured, so softly that he had to lean forward slightly to hear. 

‘Thank you,’ James replied, just as quietly. He reached out a hand to touch her cheek gently, and Lily’s breath caught in her throat. She was so close to him now. Impossibly close. Watching the parting in his mouth, her heart fluttering as she imagined him bridging that tiny distance between them. She wasn’t blinking, she was barely breathing. His mind went hurtling back almost a year, to when they’d stood like this in the corridors, before he’d moved away to give her space. But what if now … 

Her thoughts were in a whirl. If this happened, things would change irreversibly between them. For the better? For the worse? Dare she take that step? 

Whoever had said that love took courage was right. Especially now, when the world was so uncertain. She wanted to love him – but there was still that fear, making her hesitate, preventing her from moving forward. She’d lost her parents; she’d lost Aura. There was no limit to how much a person could lose. 

James’s voice was barely a croak. ‘Can I …?’ 

It was a question of more than just a simple kiss. He would need to know if she could love him in return. Love him. James was looking at her, more hesitant each moment that she remained undecided. If she moved away, he would let her go, and say nothing about it. He would never press her for anything. He loved her. 

He loved her. 

And Lily realised that perhaps her heart had already made the leap of faith and chosen for her. 

In response, she leaned forward, slowly, nervously, closing the distance between them. There was a split second of shivery anticipation, a second when she could feel the warmth radiating from James’s mouth before it captured hers. 

It was everything she’d dreamt of, and yet everything she feared at the same time. Soft and gentle, but electrical and jolting. It was perfection – in that one kiss, she felt _home_. It gave her strength, bolstered her courage. 

Lily found, in that one kiss, that she _was_ brave enough to love James.

_**A/N** : Yes, I know some of you might have objections to the N.E.W.T.s being held in London. I just thought that the Great Hall was going to get pretty darn crowded if it had to be used simultaneously for O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. And yes, the title was shamelessly stolen from _Faith Hill _'s This Kiss._


	15. 15 Coming Home

**RISING FROM EMBERS** by _shiiki_

**CHAPTER FIFTEEN:** **Coming Home**

_June, 1977_

‘To Zinnia Prewett,’ said Dumbledore gravely, raising his glass during the end-of-year feast. On their feet, everyone did likewise. Lily felt a lump in her throat as she swallowed. 

‘And many of our ex-students, who have fallen this year in the fight,’ continued Dumbledore. ‘However, as long as we continue to believe in the Light, and work towards peace, their lives will not have been given in vain. 

‘I pray that all of you will stay safe this summer. The world now is dangerous, and it pains me to say that there may be those of you who return with more grief, more heartache – or even not at all. But as long as I am here, I will promise that Hogwarts will always remain as a safe haven for all at any time. 

‘To our seventh-years. You are graduating into a harsh reality. It will be time that you realise that this is not a fight where sitting on the fence is permitted. Lord Voldemort’s means of spreading discord are vast, and I urge you to stand together against his efforts – for it is together that we are strong.’ 

A warm hand closed around Lily’s clenched fist. She glanced sideways. James was staring straight at Dumbledore, hazel eyes flashing with determination. His hand over hers gave a small, comforting squeeze. Lily relaxed and leaned against him. 

It really wasn’t so difficult to think about being brave when James was next to her. 

~ * ~ 

Lily took as much time as she possibly could to pack her trunk. When she finally closed the lid with a heavy heart, a house-elf was already standing shyly in the doorway. 

‘Ebby is sorry, miss, but Ebby is being sent to get the trunks to the train now.’ 

Lily took a last look around her. The beds were stripped, the decorations all taken down and packed up. 

It wasn’t their dormitory any longer. Come September, a new group of eager-faced first-years would take over the room, excited and awed by the splendour as they had been seven years ago. They would live here for seven years, turn this room into home, until the heart-wrenching day when they, too, would have to leave … 

There were tears pricking at her eyes as she made her way down the spiral staircase. 

~ * ~ 

The fourth-year Ravenclaw girl came up to them as they were waiting for the horseless carriages to arrive. Well, the carriages pulled by the Thestrals, actually – but most people thought they were horseless. 

James had known from day one what beasts they were. The memory was still amazingly clear – how everyone had believed him nuts except Remus, who quietly informed him that he too could see the frightening horses. And Hagrid had explained the matter to both of them. It had been the beginning of his friendship with the large gamekeeper. 

More people saw them now, every year. 

Lily stood apart from them, talking with Annemette Darlington in low voices. As the Thestrals came rumbling into sight, Lily pointed and the two girls hugged. Annemette ran along back to her group of friends. 

‘Hey.’ Lily was back by his side. ‘You look serious.’ 

James shrugged. ‘Is she all right?’ A year ago, Annemette Darlington had been a suicidal, grieving girl recently orphaned by Voldemort. Now, she was still orphaned, but thankfully she no longer harboured intentions to end her own life. 

‘She’ll be fine, I hope. Her relatives took her in, you know – the Dearborns.’ 

‘Oh. That’s good.’ 

‘She – well – she wished me luck. And –’ Lily blushed suddenly. 

‘What?’ 

‘She said – well, she said she wanted to be like me. I can’t believe – I mean, that’s really …’ 

‘You’re a role model, Lily,’ grinned James. ‘The wonderful Head Girl we all look up to.’ 

‘Oh – that’s nonsense.’ She was still a deep shade of pink, though, and her pride at his words shone through despite her attempt to brush it off modestly. James laughed and pecked her on the cheek. She took his hand and started moving in the direction of the carriages. 

‘Let’s go, James.’ 

~ * ~ 

It was unnaturally quiet in their compartment on the Hogwarts Express. For once, James and Sirius weren’t their usual noisy selves. Lily could barely remember a single journey when the two weren’t making loud jokes, or playing Exploding Snap, or running around the train carrying out a brilliantly atrocious prank. 

It was Peter, surprisingly, who broke the silence. 

‘What’s going to happen now?’ He sounded quite frightened – a feeling that Lily felt was mirrored in the pit of her stomach. 

‘What else?’ said Sirius harshly. ‘We fight.’ 

‘We oppose Voldemort,’ amended James. ‘In whatever way we can.’ 

Lily studied the faces of the four boys carefully. James had a determined expression; Sirius’s dark face was stonily serious; Remus looked thoughtful; and Peter was apprehensive. 

Briefly, she allowed herself to wonder what might have become of them all, had Voldemort not existed. James and Sirius could have been Quidditch stars, playing for England. Remus would make a fine researcher, or perhaps a teacher. Peter, with his amiable ways and willingness to please, might do well in a secretarial position. 

Voldemort had changed all that – he’d stolen their dreams, and now they had to go out there and get them back. To fight for others who had fallen, whose dreams had been shattered irreversibly. 

Only after that would they finally be able to truly think about their futures. 

~ * ~ 

‘I don’t know if I’ll be able to find Pet when I’m back. I’m sure – oh, I don’t know – I hope she’s ready to see me again … I wonder how she’s done, she never wrote. I don’t think we’ll have much yet … I’ll have to change money at Gringotts – thankfully Mum and Dad started me an account when I was a first-year … even though there isn’t much there.’ 

Lily was fussing. James sighed, wishing he could offer her all the gold in his own Gringotts vault but knowing Lily wouldn’t have accepted it anyway. 

‘What will you do when you get back?’ 

‘Settle things with Pet,’ said Lily firmly. ‘I’ll go home – the house wasn’t sold, thankfully, even if the lawyers settled bills and debts with most of the things inside.’ 

‘Will she – well, she didn’t write for the whole term –’ _And not a peep out of her when you got hurt, even though McGonagall sent letters,_ James wanted to add, but didn’t. 

‘It’ll be all right. Pet’s like that – maybe she wanted me to stay with her, I think – she was always after me to stay in the Muggle world, but you know I couldn’t have left Hogwarts. Now I’m out of school, it ought to be different. I hope I’ll get a job soon, I wouldn’t want her to have to support the both of us alone …’ 

‘Lily. Lily, stop.’ James cut off her flustered muttering mid-sentence. ‘I wish you didn’t have to worry.’ 

Lily smiled. ‘I’ll be all right.’ 

But James knew that she wasn’t, because she let him put his arms around her and hold her tight. Lily was afraid – but she wouldn’t say it. 

~ * ~ 

Lily couldn’t help feeling small and vulnerable as she stepped out of the train station onto the pavement, dragging her school trunk behind her. The world outside Hogwarts felt very, very big. Very big and dangerous. 

There was, of course, no one to meet her. She wondered if Petunia had even received the owl she had sent a week ago, as no reply had ever arrived. Then again, Petunia hadn’t answered a single letter from Lily since their parents had died. 

‘Do you want to come to my place first?’ said James, who had followed her out. 

It was a tempting idea – to forget her sister and seek refuge with James, who would always welcome her with open arms. But … Petunia was family. The only family she had left now. And you had to hold on to family, in a time of war. Lily’s resolve hardened: she would go home and find her sister, and they would make up for the previous months of silence between them. She shook her head firmly. 

‘No – not now, James. I’ve got to go home.’ She stood and faced him. ‘I have to go back to my family.’ 

‘Your family … Lily, your sister …’ He looked as though he wanted to say something sour about Petunia. 

‘Don’t, James,’ Lily warned him, before he could continue. She met his eyes defiantly as she said, ‘She’s still my only family … she won’t forsake me.’ 

James looked doubtful, but he backed down and relented with, ‘Shall I at least see you home, then?’ 

Again, Lily shook her head. ‘I’ll Apparate; it won’t take half a second. Don’t bother – no, _really_. Look – James, your parents are waiting. I’ll be _fine_. Go on, now. I’ll owl you.’ 

‘If you’re sure,’ said James uncertainly. 

‘I am.’ 

James leaned forward to peck her cheek quickly. ‘Take care,’ he breathed into her ear, before he left, returning to his own family. 

Squaring her shoulders, Lily reached for the handle of her trunk and made her way down the street in search of a suitable alleyway from which she could Disapparate unnoticed. 

~ * ~ 

When Lily arrived at her destination, her first thought was that she must have accidentally picked the wrong location. This wasn’t her home as she remembered it: the hall was bare – it was as though someone had done an _Evanesco_ on the furniture; the family pictures that had always been there had been stripped from the walls; there was no sign at all that this was a inhabited house. 

Confused, Lily peered out of the window to get her bearings. Yes – this was her neighbourhood; that was her front yard, with the garden that had been her mother and sister’s pride and joy; and there was a tall, blonde woman at the gate, stooping to rearrange something. Lily’s heart leapt with relief at the sight of her sister. Whatever the house looked like – it didn’t matter. There was still someone here for her to come home to. 

‘Pet!’ she cried happily, bursting out the front door. Her sister turned at the sound of her voice, her eyes widening with – was it surprise? ‘Pet, I’m home!’ 

But Petunia did not open her arms in welcome, nor did she even smile in greeting. She took a step backwards and crossed her arms across her bony chest. 

‘What are you doing here?’ 

Lily froze, as though Petunia had dumped a bucket of cold water over her head. ‘I – I finished school. I’m home. It’s – I sent you an ow- a letter. Did it get here? You’re – you’re not still angry with me, are you? It’s been so long since …’ 

‘This isn’t our home any more,’ said Petunia crisply. She stepped aside and Lily took in the words on the sign that her sister had been fixing to the gate. 

_SOLD_ , it read, in big red letters. And a similar notice on the ground, which had evidently just been taken down, showed that the house had previously been up for sale. 

‘You – you sold the house,’ said Lily. ‘But – how – isn’t it … don’t I have to sign papers for it …’ 

‘I think you’ll find,’ said Petunia icily, ‘that your _magical_ –’ she spat this like it was a bad word ‘– laws have a separate system from the _normal_ government. You apparently don’t exist once you enter that school of yours.’ 

‘I don’t … exist?’ 

‘I told Mum and Dad’s lawyers you had died in that accident as well. They were quite willing to believe this since all your records had been removed somehow by your _magic_ people. And for all I know, you could have, with all that you get up to at that _school_ of yours!’ 

‘But – Petunia, how are you going to explain to them now that I’m here?’ 

‘You have no business being here, Lily Evans!’ said Petunia sharply. ‘I asked you so many times, I gave you so many chances, but you wouldn’t give up that crackpot school of yours!’ 

‘Hogwarts is _not_ a crackpot school!’ 

‘And in the end, what use is that _magic_ of yours? You used it to save your own skin, but when it came to Mum, oh no, she wasn’t good enough to be saved –’ 

‘I couldn’t do anything about that! Petunia! Don’t you think I felt awful about it too?’ 

‘Then why didn’t you save her? Forget it. What I’m saying is that you made your choice long ago, and I’m not part of it. So leave me alone, and don’t bring that _magic_ of yours down on me. I don’t want any bit of it. 

‘And this house doesn’t belong to you or me any more. I don’t care where you’re going to stay now, you _magic_ people probably have all your own answers to that, but this isn’t your home.’ 

‘Where are you staying then?’ 

‘As if I’d tell you,’ scorned Petunia. But then her expression softened a little, and she relented enough to say, ‘I’m getting married next year. I have – I have plans. ’ 

‘Won’t you – will you still keep in touch with me? You’re my sister, and I –’ 

Petunia’s face hardened again. ‘You aren’t my sister any more,’ she said, through gritted teeth. ‘Understand that, Lily Evans. As far as I’m concerned, my sister is dead.’ 

She couldn’t have hurt Lily more had she actually struck her. For a moment, her vision blurred in an angry red haze. Lily wanted to grab Petunia, to shake her and make her be reasonable. Anything to make Petunia take back those ugly words. 

Her wand was out and pointed towards her sister before she realised what she was doing. Petunia’s sharp intake of breath brought her to her senses again. No magic she could do – short of _Imperio_ , and that she _wouldn't_ do– would convince Petunia. What was she thinking? Lily’s hand fell limply back to her side, the fingers clutching her wand feeling numb. 

‘I _am_ your sister,’ she whispered pleadingly. 

Petunia turned away, refusing to look at her. The first tear escaped Lily’s eyes and rolled slowly down her cheek. She couldn’t bear it – her sister, her only sister had refused to acknowledge her as family anymore. She was … she was really and truly alone. 

Her legs seemed to have developed a mind of their own. They turned and took her away from Petunia and the house that was no longer theirs, breaking into a run down the streets upon which she’d grown up. 

She could remember playing tag with the neighbour children, riding a bicycle, walking to school along this very street – all with her sister. When she was five, they’d found their way to the beach. Lily had loved sitting there, listening to the waves lap on the sand, just reading, or watching the clouds above her head. 

The beach was still there, the waves crashing violently upon the surf. Dark clouds were gathering overhead. Lily closed her eyes and stood facing the sea, letting the salty wind blow into her face. 

Five minutes passed. Lightning flashed across the sky. She was going to be caught in a rainstorm. She didn’t know if it had started to drizzle; her cheeks were already wet. 

~ * ~ 

James barely heard his parents as they discussed his future, now that he had left school, in bright cheery tones. He was wondering how Lily’s reunion with her sister had gone – or if she’d even found her sister. He still couldn’t understand why she had turned him down when he’d offered to go with her. But she had got that stubborn, determined look in her eyes – the same tenacious spark that had been present every time she’d told him to lay off Snape or scolded or nagged at him. So he’d acquiesced to her wishes. 

But when he thought of the last time he’d left her at King’s Cross to meet her family on her own and the tragedy that had befallen her then, James wondered if he’d done right in letting her go again. 

‘Why don’t you just go find her?’ said Sirius. ‘You know where she lives, don’t you?’ 

James knew the address by heart. He opened his mouth to say so, but Sirius interrupted him. 

‘Go,’ he ordered, a smile twitching about his lips. 

He excused himself to his parents, nodded gratefully to Sirius, and Disapparated with a pop. 

James arrived in the middle of Lily’s house. He hadn’t wanted to pop right in uninvited, but he didn’t want to take the chance of appearing out of mid-air onto a street full of Muggles. 

The first thing that struck him was the bareness of the house. It had been stripped of its furniture, and looked as if it hadn’t been lived in for a long while. Even the Shrieking Shack was more inviting. He was wondering if he had made a mistake, until he looked out of the window and saw the two girls by the gate. 

Lily’s sister was blonde. James had seen her only a handful of times, but had never had time to scrutinise her in detail. Petunia Evans was tall and skinny, with sleek, fair hair that fell across her shoulders in soft waves, rather like Lily’s. James supposed she would be pretty, if not for the disgusted expression she wore across her slightly horse-like face. 

James didn’t even have to hear the two girls’ conversation to know that this was no warm welcome home for Lily – her body language said it all. He watched her recoil visibly – Petunia must have lashed out at her – and turn, her legs picking up speed as she started to run. James felt anger boil up in him. Her sister didn’t even seem to care! She picked up a sign and walked stiffly back towards the house. The front door opened. 

Petunia let out a high pitched scream and dropped the signboard she was holding. _For Sale,_ it said. Without thinking, James moved forward and clamped a hand over her mouth. She tried to bite him, and he removed his hand quickly, warning instead, ‘Hey – just stop yelling, will you? I don’t want to use a Silencing Charm.’ 

Petunia glared at him. ‘You’re one of _her_ people.’ 

‘I’m a wizard, if that’s what you mean.’ ‘What do you want? You can’t come charging into people’s houses unannounced, isn’t that against your laws?’ she spat. 

James decided to ignore this. He focused on the signboard. ‘You’re selling the house?’ 

‘It’s already been sold,’ said Petunia, in a clipped tone. ‘Though I don’t see how that’s any of your business.’ 

‘It’s my business,’ retorted James, ‘because it concerns Lily, and she’s my – she’s my girlfriend.’ It felt rather daring to say that – James couldn’t help the thrill that ran down his spine. Lily, his girlfriend, at long last. 

Petunia stared defiantly at him. Her hands moved up to her hips. The action reminded James vividly of Lily, although the two girls looked nothing like each other. 

‘You’re her only family,’ he continued. ‘Do you know how much she cares about you? Don’t you even give a damn about her? Did you know she was injured last February? You’re her sister, but where were you when she needed her family?’ 

‘I don’t care about what Lily gets up to at that school of hers.’ 

‘Did a bloody Dementor suck out your soul? How heartless can you get?’ 

Petunia drew her hand back, but he caught her wrist before she could slap him. His reflexes were quick, thanks to his Quidditch training. She wrenched her hand away, furious. 

‘Don’t tell me how to act,’ she said, breathing heavily. ‘It’s you – James Potter – oh yes, I know who you are – _you_ stole my sister from me and now you dare to come and tell me what to do –’ 

‘I didn’t steal Lily,’ James objected. 

‘No? I told her to come back from that school, I asked her to be normal, I even _begged_ her to be _safe_ , but she’d never leave – and I knew it must be because she wanted to stay with her _friends_ there. She’s evidently made her choice, and it’s to stay with _you_ in your stupid world and you can jolly well take her and get out of my life!’ Petunia exploded. 

James found himself at a loss for words. Petunia turned her back on him, and put a hand on the doorknob. Suddenly, she looked back, hesitating. 

‘What are Dementors?’ she asked, out of the blue. 

Once he had got over the shock of Petunia – who had more of less just yelled at him to keep magic out of her life – asking him to explain magic, he answered, ‘Probably the worst creatures to ever cross the planet. Guarded Azkaban – at least until Voldemort got them to join him. Soul-sucking hooded monstrosities. They take all the happiness out of you, and if they get close enough …’ 

‘Stop!’ Petunia looked sorry that she’d asked. James couldn’t help feeling a fleeting, vindictive sort of pleasure at her discomfort. ‘I – I’m leaving. Don’t – don’t stop me. And don’t follow me. Lily’s yours now. You – you keep her away from me.’ 

~ * ~ 

Lily was soaking wet when she returned to the house. Petunia was nowhere in sight – not that Lily would have expected her to hang around anyway. Her heart was aching – she’d as good as lost the last of her family. Suddenly, she wanted so much to go home – only home was Hogwarts, not this empty house where the ones she’d loved were dead and gone. 

She was prepared to use _Alohomora_ on the door, expecting it to be locked, but it opened easily. She stumbled into the empty hall, yanked the door shut behind her, and slumped back against it, feeling utterly drained. 

It was then that she realised that someone else was in the house. Someone with messy jet-black hair and hazel eyes that widened with anxiety as they took in her dripping state. 

Someone who willingly opened his arms for her to run into despite the fact that she was cold and wet and not at all very pleasant to hold. 

She clung to James and realised that he and her friends were the only family she would have now. And home was wherever they were. 

**THE END**

_**A/N** : I almost can’t believe I’ve reached this point. I owe a great deal to my lovely beta **jamc91** , who is always ready to keep my characterisations in check. She’s amazing for sticking with me and this story for this long, and I really want to say a big **thank you** to her! _

_I started_ Ashes _more than a year ago, and the support that has grown for this story has been amazing. I’m so very grateful to everyone who's taken the time to read and review this story; all your comments have been wonderfully encouraging, and they make me want to write more, and strive to improve at it. I can’t possibly thank each and every one of you personally here, but I do try to reply to everyone who’s reviewed. Your support means so much to me!_

_This story will be continued in the final instalment of the trilogy,_ Falling with Grace _, which I hope to post very soon (and update regularly enough to make it before July 21!) Thank you all for reading_ RfE _, and I hope you’ll enjoy the sequel!_

_-shiiki_


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